Is it really sorrow?
Chapter one
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. This story, However, IS mine, so don't take without permission.
Author's Notes: Helga is 14, same with Arnold and Pheobe, except Harold, Rhonda, and Big Patty are 15.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The music was blaring, and I didn't accually care if I hurt my ears or not. I didn't care about anything. "For the fifteen-millionth time, Helga, turn the music down, I am trying to watch TV here!!!" Big Bob was yelling, and yelling, and did some more yelling downstairs. Amazingly, he had gotten my name right, only because he was angry at me.
I turned the music down, finnally, after getting annoyed at his screaming. I sat up out of bed, where I had been laying, and lazily got up off of it. I went to go look in my vanity mirror, which was a gift from Pheobe for my 13th birthday. I saw my facial features, which I got more disgusted at. The long, blonde hair was now down to my waist. I had gotten rid of the pink bow, as it reminded me of times that I wished not to remember. I accually had two eyebrows now, and gotten rid of the grown-together one. I had plucked it because of the fact that Bob had gotten mad at me and made fun of it. The memory came back to me, when I thought of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Memory~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the years, I had gotten fed up with Bob just sitting and looking at the TV. I was 12, and very vulnarable to emotional un-stability. I ran into the Living room, and said, "Hey, BOB, why don't you get off your lazy BUTT for a change, and go get some groceries. I'm starving right now!" He got very mad at me, I could see his face turning red, now. He slowly got out of his recliner, while I stood there, tapping my foot, with my hands on my hips. He got straight up in my face, and in a low voice, almost growling, said, "Helga, you listen here, Young Lady. This is MY house, and you are going to respect me! I am tired of your shit, you treating me this way. Why don't YOU go and get your OWN groceries, and see how hard it is! Oh, and by the way, maybe you would get more respect from me and others if you fix your attitude, and get normal eyebrows like normal people!"
I ran into my room, and bursted out crying. I couldn't believe it! He had put down my physical image. I wanted to scream. Just go into a dark room and scream forever. I went to the bathroom later that night, around 1:00 in the morning, and plucked it, making sure it was even and everything, and I went to bed, crying again. The next morning, I went to see if there was anything to eat for breakfast, or lunch...not to my surprise, there wasn't anything, so I didn't bother asking Mirium. I just had my backpack ready, and went out of the door. I got onto the bus, and went into the class room, on time for once. I sat down in my same-old seat. Harold, then 13, stood up, and said, "Heeeeey, Loooook everybodyyyy!! Helga Pataki got rid of that Line that use to be on her horrid face!" I couldn't believe it. I should have known that people might...talk. I sank lower into my chair, and Mr. Simmons said, "Now Harrold, sit down, we are starting a new lesson, I want to get it over with today...On Time."
That was the first time I accually liked Mr. Simmons. The class would have went into a laughing fit if it weren't for the overly-caring teacher they all had. Since the lesson was accually going to be intresting today, everybody quieted down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to Reality~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went out of the trance I was in, and looked at my face again. Harold's words rang in my ears, 'Helga Pataki got rid of that Line that use to be on her horrid face!'...Horrid, I thought. He was right...it was- Horrid. The slightly pale skin, the long Blonde hair, the slim, slightly curved body, and the bust size which was normal for my age, which was probably the only thing I accually had to take slight pride in. Some of the girls at my school envied the fact that I am 'normal' and they complained they were either too small, or too big. I don't care, it isn't like I take it as a big compliment. I'm not overly obsessed with my 'size' like everyone else.
I sighed, and went back to my bed. I listened to the depressing music that was on...
-"Why did it start out this way? -'Nothing, nothing is right. -'Screaming, screaming out of fright, -'Why can't I get out of this nightmare tonight?!"
"Heh, feels like me." I said to myself, mumbling. My face had its normal frown upon it, and I turned to lay on my side, my back to the radio. It was kind of cold, and late, so I got up out of the bed, groaning because I was getting comfortable to the bed's cushyness. I walked to my closet, opened it, and put on a sky-blue gown that I owned. It was really silky, and it left my shoulders and arms vulnarable to the cold air. I shivered after putting it on, and hugged myself for a second for warmth. I slipped into bed, and pulled the now messed-up covers over my body, and drifted into sleep.
There were, surprisingly, no dreams. All I remember seeing was- darkness. I woke up, yawned loudly, scratched my arm, and went to go get a towel. I took a shower, got dressed, and ate what was left of their dinner from the night before (Spaghetti).
I was already out to the bus when it pulled up. I slumped into the third seat on the left, and stared out of the window. I didn't wear the pink dress I use to. My wardrobe now consisted of leather pants, and tight black shirts that hugged my back and chest. The shoes were also heavy black boots, some Rhonda really envied. I thought Rhonda was just being nice when she proclaimed how nice they looked on me. I just shrugged her off, leaving her behind. I walked into the school, busting the door in, like I did every morning. *You hate everything, you hate everyone, you hate your life, you hate arnold, and you even hate Pheobe!* My little voice screamed out in my head, as I sat down in my seat. We finnally had a different teacher, her name was Mrs. Tinkling. I fought my little voice, as I said in my head, *No, I DON'T hate Arnold, and I DON'T hate pheobe...but I should hate her.* I remember how she had ended our friendship, a few weeks before my 14'th birthday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Memory~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Pheobe, make sure you do better next time, you know it gets on my nerves when you sit there and don't even get what I want!" I screamed out in rage. Pheobe had looked terribly hurt, and I went on screaming and raving about how many things I didn't like about her, and watched her sorrow grow more on her face.
"I'm Sorry Helga, but I didn't mean to do all those things. And also, HELGA... this friendship is over, I am TIRED of your fucking crap!" She ran out of my room, crying, her face a slight pink because of her anger. I gulped, and my knees buckled, finnally calapsing to the ground in sobs. I had noticed that I had done something I shouldn't have. I had ruined the friendship I had with my only friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to Reality~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I gazed out the window, thinking to myself. I assuredly did NOT hate arnold. He was the only one who watched out for my safety. I remember when he had caught me crying in the park one night. I was crying because of my life, and everything in it. Arnold was walking slowly towards me. I was on the bench, and I looked up. He was sad, I could tell. He saw my tear stained face, and ran over to me. He asked if I was alright, and of course, I pushed him off, as usual. He never found out what was wrong, but he held me in his arms for about an hour. He healed me, without saying a word. He just sat there, letting me cry onto him. I remember that he said that he had to go, and I told him I had to also, so we went our seperate ways. I was thinking about suicide, but...he left a sudden hint of hope when he did that to me.
I snapped out of my memory when the bell had rung. It was Lunch time, so I walked through the hall of screaming kids, and finnally reached the lunch room. I remember I had no lunch money, and noticed how hungry I was. I didn't really care, it wasn't like food was 'everything' to me. I looked down to the floor, and then went over to the wall, sitting down. I layed my head onto my knees, and just sat there. I wasn't thinking, I was just listening to all the happy squeels of the girls, and guys laughter. I just wanted to cry- I was utterly...alone.
I felt something stroke my hair, and looked up startled. I thought it might have been someone trying to pull my hair out of hatered, but it wasn't to my surprise. It was...Arnold.
__________________________Arnold's Point of View__________________________
Why did she have to look so...sad? Sitting their all alone, I thought she must have felt lonely. Why did I keep trying to comfort her? It wasn't like I was really friends with her, but I noticed that I DID feel a bit sorry for her. I personally thought her life wasn't that bad, I mean, she was the most feared in the school, so tough and everything. When I looked into her eyes, I searched them. I wanted to pound into her head, see what was torturing her so much. I also wondered why she didn't hang out with pheobe anymore.
"Helga?" I asked, a bit of worry in my voice.
"What do'ya want, Arnol-Arnold?" Helga replied. I could tell that she was about to insult me, but her voice softened when she said my whole name. I expected she might call me 'Arnoldo' or something. I wondered, why had she accually called me by my real name?
I remembered that I had a dollar, and 50 cents in my pocket, and pulled it out. I noticed she had tried to atleast be friendly toward me, why not me toward her? I handed it to her, and walked off, not bothering to say anything else. I didn't want her to throw the money back at me or anything, so that was the only way I could have given it to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's point of veiw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't believe it. When Arnold walked off, I watched him. I bit my bottom lip, and guiltly looked at the money. Why had he given this to me? I wanted to run back to him and hug him, but I knew that school wasn't the best place to show my affection toward him.
I walked to the lunch line that was still there, and got my lunch. I sat down at a table alone, and I had my Diary in my purse, so I took it out and ripped out a page. I took the dark-purple pen that was in the black leather purse, also, and wrote:
Arnold, I hope you don't mind me coming near you, as I am dusgusted of myself also, but...Thanks. From, Helga.
I folded the small page in half, and got up from my lunch, and walked over to where Arnold was sitting and laughing with Gerold. I took a big breath, wondering if I should even give it to him. 'No, I have to. He deserves my thanks. I mean, he helped me through my problems that one time while I cried, without even saying anything, and now he gives me some money for lunch. It kinda creeps me out, but...he still deserves what I'm fixing to give him. No, wait...he deserves more than that...but oh well, I have to hurry up and give this to him anyway.' I thought to myself.
I made my legs move. I went over to the long, tall table, acting like I was fixing to go to the water fountain. While passing Arnold, I sort of threw the note in front of him, and walked by like I didn't do anything. I hadn't even looked to see where I had thrown it. I looked behind me quickly and to my relief, saw that I had thrown it where I wanted to. I went to the water fountain, then turned around. I slightly grinned with happiness, as I saw arnold frown, then smile. I made my heart flutter, knowing he appriciated it. He closed the note, and his forehead scrunched up. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but I didn't want him to get any ideas that I liked- no, I loved him. I didn't want him to find out.
I walked back to my lunch that was at another table, sat down by myself, and ate it quietly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Arnold's point of veiw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow. I couldn't believe what she had done. She had thanked me. The thing that bothered me was she thought that I thought she was disgusting. God, she is FAR away from that! She has become the most envied person in the school! Her body figure is perfect, along with her face. She is like...an angel. She still had that snotty attitude, though, so people tended to stay away from her. She was a loner now, without Pheobe, and I wanted to reach out to her. I could see she hurt.
"Hey, Gereld, can you hold on a sec? I am gunna go see what is wrong with Helga."
"Helga? Boy, do ya got somethin wrong with your head? That girl is always in that mood she is in. You know that." Gereld said, sarcastically. What, did he think, I was joking, or something?
"No, Gereld, there IS something wrong. She thanked me for...well, I'll tell you about that after school." I said to Gereld's shocked face.
"Arnold, your a bo- you know what you are."
"Yeh, yeh, I know. I'm bold. I gatcha." I responded, and chuckled. I ran over to Helga, who was sort of picking and eating at her food.
"Hey Helga." I asked, a little nervous. I wondered what she was going to do.
She sighed sepressingly, and said, "Oh, hey football head." I got used to the nickname, atleast...well, only when she said it nicely. When she used her snotty-voice with it, I didn't really like it. I sat down beside her, and lookes at her. She wouldn't ever show me her eyes, it got on my nerves that she wouldn't look at me with them.
"Um, Helga can I ask you something?" I didn't wait for her to respond, but she nodded anyway, right when I started back up to talk, "I was wondering why you, well, thanked me."
"BECAUSE, Arnoldo, I felt like it, OK? Mirium forgot to pack my lunch, as usual, and I had no breakfast. I'm still ok though...I guess." My half- smile had become a frown. She was O-K? Yah, right, she HAD to be lying to me.
"Helga, listen, I know your not ok. Stop trying to deny it."
"It's NONE of your buisness, Arnold, ok? Stop trying to make me feel like everything is alright, it's never going to be, atleast not in my life." She looked away from the eye-to-eye gaze she had kept with me while saying that. I suddenly got an idea.
"Hey, Helga...I'm coming over your house around 6 o'clock tonight, ok?" Oh my God, had I just said that? Yep. Seems like I always speak my thoughts. Dang. Oh well, I had already said it. Might as well just go along with it, and try to find out what is wrong with Helga, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's Point of View~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh my God, had he just said that? My long time crush was coming over? Well, that was a BIG change, atleast in my life. I glared at him with my eyes, but it wasn't a glare of disgust, bitterness, or anger, but of admiration, fear, and loneliness. I hope he hadn't noticed, but his smile had then led me into even more fear of his finding out my little 'secret.' Plus, I didn't want him invading my life. I really didn't want to invade his perfect, confident heart, either. Mine just held sorrow, and he would wretch at the fact of that.
I sighed loudly, and responded, "Yeh, football head, whatever you say." I laid my head down onto my arms, looking away from him. I heard him walk away about two minutes afterward, and I looked up where he had been sitting earlier. What? A note?
I picked it up to read it, and smiled slightly at the words written upon it:
Helga, Remember, 6 o'clock today. Oh and about what you wrote in your note, no, I don't think your disgusting. I'll explain later at your house. From, Arnold.
I started feeling really uncomfortable, and stood up to go to the girls bathroom, while putting the note in my purse. Harold walked through the cafateria door, and I pushed him out of the way. That boy was SO annoying. All he ever did was tease her anyway, maybe if he acted nicer, she would try, also. I went into the large hall, and went to where it had all-capital green letters that said 'GIRLS' on it, and pushed through. Pheobe, to my surprise was in there. She was putting on light-pink lipstick. When she saw who it was who came through the bathroom door, she put a scowl on her face, and ran out of the door. While doing that, she perpously banged the edge of her shoulder against mine. I couldn't stand us not being friends, but I wasn't going to apologize. After all, she was the one who ended the friendship, not me. I noticed my selfishness, but shrugged it off.
I unzipped my purse, and took the note from Arnold out, and read back over it. I saw that he had written that he didn't think I was disgusting. "Wow...I can't believe that." I muttered sarcastically to myself, and continued, "he probably thinks that he might lighten my spirits by saying that. Yeh, right. He probably doesn't even mean it. Oh well." I threw the note in the trash can. It wasn't like it didn't matter to me, it was just that I could remember 6 o'clock, it wasn't like I was stupid.
I heard the bell ring, and went back to class. The bell rang again, after a butt-load of memories I was re-thinking, and I grabbed my back-pack off of the floor, and walked out of the door. I saw Arnold and Gereld talking infront of me, and I pushed inbetween them, interrupting their conversation. I heard bits of their conversation as I walked by. I heard Arnold say, "frightened" and gereld say "Ya, But..." and then Arnold said, "around 6 o'clo-"
There wasn't much information, but I wonder if Arnold was frightened of coming over my house, or had he seen the look of fear on my face before? I hoped it was the first one. I walked out to the bus, and walked up the three, far apart steps, and frowned at the female bus driver. She was a little over-weight, and her red hair stuck out of her head like a duster. I walked past her, and slumped into the same seat I had been in that morning. As I was looking out of the window, in a gaze, I felt something-or someone, rub my left arm with their hand. In quick reaction, I looked at the person, startled...Oh, Arnold. I should have thought.
"What are you doing here, football head?!" I responded, in a low growl. He sighed and looked into my blue eyes givingly and responded, saying, "Well, I am cutting the time short- by three hours. It might make it easier if I just got off the bus with you. We can do homework, and..." he looked down to the floor, then back up into my eyes, "stuff."
My body went almost limp as he said those words. I wasn't ready for him to come over, now! I mean, first of all, I was ashamed of my parents, what might he think of them? I could atleast try and get them civilized before he came over, but nooo, dang football head had to go and cut the time short. Sheesh, couldn't he give her time to prepare?
I looked into his lush green eyes again, and melted into them. It was like- like they said everything he was thinking. It was like I could read his mind. His eyes tell me that he...he is going to do much more than 'do homework' but I wondered...what was he thinking of doing?
__________________________________
Well, that's the end of chapter one, how do you like it? *smiles* I think it might be going too fast, or something but oh well. PLEEEEEASE tell me what you think of this! I am writing a second chapter soon, so if you liked this one and are planning to read the second, it should be up soon. Thankies :) (R+R pweeez! *puppy eyes*)
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. This story, However, IS mine, so don't take without permission.
Author's Notes: Helga is 14, same with Arnold and Pheobe, except Harold, Rhonda, and Big Patty are 15.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The music was blaring, and I didn't accually care if I hurt my ears or not. I didn't care about anything. "For the fifteen-millionth time, Helga, turn the music down, I am trying to watch TV here!!!" Big Bob was yelling, and yelling, and did some more yelling downstairs. Amazingly, he had gotten my name right, only because he was angry at me.
I turned the music down, finnally, after getting annoyed at his screaming. I sat up out of bed, where I had been laying, and lazily got up off of it. I went to go look in my vanity mirror, which was a gift from Pheobe for my 13th birthday. I saw my facial features, which I got more disgusted at. The long, blonde hair was now down to my waist. I had gotten rid of the pink bow, as it reminded me of times that I wished not to remember. I accually had two eyebrows now, and gotten rid of the grown-together one. I had plucked it because of the fact that Bob had gotten mad at me and made fun of it. The memory came back to me, when I thought of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Memory~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over the years, I had gotten fed up with Bob just sitting and looking at the TV. I was 12, and very vulnarable to emotional un-stability. I ran into the Living room, and said, "Hey, BOB, why don't you get off your lazy BUTT for a change, and go get some groceries. I'm starving right now!" He got very mad at me, I could see his face turning red, now. He slowly got out of his recliner, while I stood there, tapping my foot, with my hands on my hips. He got straight up in my face, and in a low voice, almost growling, said, "Helga, you listen here, Young Lady. This is MY house, and you are going to respect me! I am tired of your shit, you treating me this way. Why don't YOU go and get your OWN groceries, and see how hard it is! Oh, and by the way, maybe you would get more respect from me and others if you fix your attitude, and get normal eyebrows like normal people!"
I ran into my room, and bursted out crying. I couldn't believe it! He had put down my physical image. I wanted to scream. Just go into a dark room and scream forever. I went to the bathroom later that night, around 1:00 in the morning, and plucked it, making sure it was even and everything, and I went to bed, crying again. The next morning, I went to see if there was anything to eat for breakfast, or lunch...not to my surprise, there wasn't anything, so I didn't bother asking Mirium. I just had my backpack ready, and went out of the door. I got onto the bus, and went into the class room, on time for once. I sat down in my same-old seat. Harold, then 13, stood up, and said, "Heeeeey, Loooook everybodyyyy!! Helga Pataki got rid of that Line that use to be on her horrid face!" I couldn't believe it. I should have known that people might...talk. I sank lower into my chair, and Mr. Simmons said, "Now Harrold, sit down, we are starting a new lesson, I want to get it over with today...On Time."
That was the first time I accually liked Mr. Simmons. The class would have went into a laughing fit if it weren't for the overly-caring teacher they all had. Since the lesson was accually going to be intresting today, everybody quieted down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to Reality~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went out of the trance I was in, and looked at my face again. Harold's words rang in my ears, 'Helga Pataki got rid of that Line that use to be on her horrid face!'...Horrid, I thought. He was right...it was- Horrid. The slightly pale skin, the long Blonde hair, the slim, slightly curved body, and the bust size which was normal for my age, which was probably the only thing I accually had to take slight pride in. Some of the girls at my school envied the fact that I am 'normal' and they complained they were either too small, or too big. I don't care, it isn't like I take it as a big compliment. I'm not overly obsessed with my 'size' like everyone else.
I sighed, and went back to my bed. I listened to the depressing music that was on...
-"Why did it start out this way? -'Nothing, nothing is right. -'Screaming, screaming out of fright, -'Why can't I get out of this nightmare tonight?!"
"Heh, feels like me." I said to myself, mumbling. My face had its normal frown upon it, and I turned to lay on my side, my back to the radio. It was kind of cold, and late, so I got up out of the bed, groaning because I was getting comfortable to the bed's cushyness. I walked to my closet, opened it, and put on a sky-blue gown that I owned. It was really silky, and it left my shoulders and arms vulnarable to the cold air. I shivered after putting it on, and hugged myself for a second for warmth. I slipped into bed, and pulled the now messed-up covers over my body, and drifted into sleep.
There were, surprisingly, no dreams. All I remember seeing was- darkness. I woke up, yawned loudly, scratched my arm, and went to go get a towel. I took a shower, got dressed, and ate what was left of their dinner from the night before (Spaghetti).
I was already out to the bus when it pulled up. I slumped into the third seat on the left, and stared out of the window. I didn't wear the pink dress I use to. My wardrobe now consisted of leather pants, and tight black shirts that hugged my back and chest. The shoes were also heavy black boots, some Rhonda really envied. I thought Rhonda was just being nice when she proclaimed how nice they looked on me. I just shrugged her off, leaving her behind. I walked into the school, busting the door in, like I did every morning. *You hate everything, you hate everyone, you hate your life, you hate arnold, and you even hate Pheobe!* My little voice screamed out in my head, as I sat down in my seat. We finnally had a different teacher, her name was Mrs. Tinkling. I fought my little voice, as I said in my head, *No, I DON'T hate Arnold, and I DON'T hate pheobe...but I should hate her.* I remember how she had ended our friendship, a few weeks before my 14'th birthday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Memory~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Pheobe, make sure you do better next time, you know it gets on my nerves when you sit there and don't even get what I want!" I screamed out in rage. Pheobe had looked terribly hurt, and I went on screaming and raving about how many things I didn't like about her, and watched her sorrow grow more on her face.
"I'm Sorry Helga, but I didn't mean to do all those things. And also, HELGA... this friendship is over, I am TIRED of your fucking crap!" She ran out of my room, crying, her face a slight pink because of her anger. I gulped, and my knees buckled, finnally calapsing to the ground in sobs. I had noticed that I had done something I shouldn't have. I had ruined the friendship I had with my only friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to Reality~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I gazed out the window, thinking to myself. I assuredly did NOT hate arnold. He was the only one who watched out for my safety. I remember when he had caught me crying in the park one night. I was crying because of my life, and everything in it. Arnold was walking slowly towards me. I was on the bench, and I looked up. He was sad, I could tell. He saw my tear stained face, and ran over to me. He asked if I was alright, and of course, I pushed him off, as usual. He never found out what was wrong, but he held me in his arms for about an hour. He healed me, without saying a word. He just sat there, letting me cry onto him. I remember that he said that he had to go, and I told him I had to also, so we went our seperate ways. I was thinking about suicide, but...he left a sudden hint of hope when he did that to me.
I snapped out of my memory when the bell had rung. It was Lunch time, so I walked through the hall of screaming kids, and finnally reached the lunch room. I remember I had no lunch money, and noticed how hungry I was. I didn't really care, it wasn't like food was 'everything' to me. I looked down to the floor, and then went over to the wall, sitting down. I layed my head onto my knees, and just sat there. I wasn't thinking, I was just listening to all the happy squeels of the girls, and guys laughter. I just wanted to cry- I was utterly...alone.
I felt something stroke my hair, and looked up startled. I thought it might have been someone trying to pull my hair out of hatered, but it wasn't to my surprise. It was...Arnold.
__________________________Arnold's Point of View__________________________
Why did she have to look so...sad? Sitting their all alone, I thought she must have felt lonely. Why did I keep trying to comfort her? It wasn't like I was really friends with her, but I noticed that I DID feel a bit sorry for her. I personally thought her life wasn't that bad, I mean, she was the most feared in the school, so tough and everything. When I looked into her eyes, I searched them. I wanted to pound into her head, see what was torturing her so much. I also wondered why she didn't hang out with pheobe anymore.
"Helga?" I asked, a bit of worry in my voice.
"What do'ya want, Arnol-Arnold?" Helga replied. I could tell that she was about to insult me, but her voice softened when she said my whole name. I expected she might call me 'Arnoldo' or something. I wondered, why had she accually called me by my real name?
I remembered that I had a dollar, and 50 cents in my pocket, and pulled it out. I noticed she had tried to atleast be friendly toward me, why not me toward her? I handed it to her, and walked off, not bothering to say anything else. I didn't want her to throw the money back at me or anything, so that was the only way I could have given it to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's point of veiw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't believe it. When Arnold walked off, I watched him. I bit my bottom lip, and guiltly looked at the money. Why had he given this to me? I wanted to run back to him and hug him, but I knew that school wasn't the best place to show my affection toward him.
I walked to the lunch line that was still there, and got my lunch. I sat down at a table alone, and I had my Diary in my purse, so I took it out and ripped out a page. I took the dark-purple pen that was in the black leather purse, also, and wrote:
Arnold, I hope you don't mind me coming near you, as I am dusgusted of myself also, but...Thanks. From, Helga.
I folded the small page in half, and got up from my lunch, and walked over to where Arnold was sitting and laughing with Gerold. I took a big breath, wondering if I should even give it to him. 'No, I have to. He deserves my thanks. I mean, he helped me through my problems that one time while I cried, without even saying anything, and now he gives me some money for lunch. It kinda creeps me out, but...he still deserves what I'm fixing to give him. No, wait...he deserves more than that...but oh well, I have to hurry up and give this to him anyway.' I thought to myself.
I made my legs move. I went over to the long, tall table, acting like I was fixing to go to the water fountain. While passing Arnold, I sort of threw the note in front of him, and walked by like I didn't do anything. I hadn't even looked to see where I had thrown it. I looked behind me quickly and to my relief, saw that I had thrown it where I wanted to. I went to the water fountain, then turned around. I slightly grinned with happiness, as I saw arnold frown, then smile. I made my heart flutter, knowing he appriciated it. He closed the note, and his forehead scrunched up. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but I didn't want him to get any ideas that I liked- no, I loved him. I didn't want him to find out.
I walked back to my lunch that was at another table, sat down by myself, and ate it quietly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Arnold's point of veiw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow. I couldn't believe what she had done. She had thanked me. The thing that bothered me was she thought that I thought she was disgusting. God, she is FAR away from that! She has become the most envied person in the school! Her body figure is perfect, along with her face. She is like...an angel. She still had that snotty attitude, though, so people tended to stay away from her. She was a loner now, without Pheobe, and I wanted to reach out to her. I could see she hurt.
"Hey, Gereld, can you hold on a sec? I am gunna go see what is wrong with Helga."
"Helga? Boy, do ya got somethin wrong with your head? That girl is always in that mood she is in. You know that." Gereld said, sarcastically. What, did he think, I was joking, or something?
"No, Gereld, there IS something wrong. She thanked me for...well, I'll tell you about that after school." I said to Gereld's shocked face.
"Arnold, your a bo- you know what you are."
"Yeh, yeh, I know. I'm bold. I gatcha." I responded, and chuckled. I ran over to Helga, who was sort of picking and eating at her food.
"Hey Helga." I asked, a little nervous. I wondered what she was going to do.
She sighed sepressingly, and said, "Oh, hey football head." I got used to the nickname, atleast...well, only when she said it nicely. When she used her snotty-voice with it, I didn't really like it. I sat down beside her, and lookes at her. She wouldn't ever show me her eyes, it got on my nerves that she wouldn't look at me with them.
"Um, Helga can I ask you something?" I didn't wait for her to respond, but she nodded anyway, right when I started back up to talk, "I was wondering why you, well, thanked me."
"BECAUSE, Arnoldo, I felt like it, OK? Mirium forgot to pack my lunch, as usual, and I had no breakfast. I'm still ok though...I guess." My half- smile had become a frown. She was O-K? Yah, right, she HAD to be lying to me.
"Helga, listen, I know your not ok. Stop trying to deny it."
"It's NONE of your buisness, Arnold, ok? Stop trying to make me feel like everything is alright, it's never going to be, atleast not in my life." She looked away from the eye-to-eye gaze she had kept with me while saying that. I suddenly got an idea.
"Hey, Helga...I'm coming over your house around 6 o'clock tonight, ok?" Oh my God, had I just said that? Yep. Seems like I always speak my thoughts. Dang. Oh well, I had already said it. Might as well just go along with it, and try to find out what is wrong with Helga, anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's Point of View~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh my God, had he just said that? My long time crush was coming over? Well, that was a BIG change, atleast in my life. I glared at him with my eyes, but it wasn't a glare of disgust, bitterness, or anger, but of admiration, fear, and loneliness. I hope he hadn't noticed, but his smile had then led me into even more fear of his finding out my little 'secret.' Plus, I didn't want him invading my life. I really didn't want to invade his perfect, confident heart, either. Mine just held sorrow, and he would wretch at the fact of that.
I sighed loudly, and responded, "Yeh, football head, whatever you say." I laid my head down onto my arms, looking away from him. I heard him walk away about two minutes afterward, and I looked up where he had been sitting earlier. What? A note?
I picked it up to read it, and smiled slightly at the words written upon it:
Helga, Remember, 6 o'clock today. Oh and about what you wrote in your note, no, I don't think your disgusting. I'll explain later at your house. From, Arnold.
I started feeling really uncomfortable, and stood up to go to the girls bathroom, while putting the note in my purse. Harold walked through the cafateria door, and I pushed him out of the way. That boy was SO annoying. All he ever did was tease her anyway, maybe if he acted nicer, she would try, also. I went into the large hall, and went to where it had all-capital green letters that said 'GIRLS' on it, and pushed through. Pheobe, to my surprise was in there. She was putting on light-pink lipstick. When she saw who it was who came through the bathroom door, she put a scowl on her face, and ran out of the door. While doing that, she perpously banged the edge of her shoulder against mine. I couldn't stand us not being friends, but I wasn't going to apologize. After all, she was the one who ended the friendship, not me. I noticed my selfishness, but shrugged it off.
I unzipped my purse, and took the note from Arnold out, and read back over it. I saw that he had written that he didn't think I was disgusting. "Wow...I can't believe that." I muttered sarcastically to myself, and continued, "he probably thinks that he might lighten my spirits by saying that. Yeh, right. He probably doesn't even mean it. Oh well." I threw the note in the trash can. It wasn't like it didn't matter to me, it was just that I could remember 6 o'clock, it wasn't like I was stupid.
I heard the bell ring, and went back to class. The bell rang again, after a butt-load of memories I was re-thinking, and I grabbed my back-pack off of the floor, and walked out of the door. I saw Arnold and Gereld talking infront of me, and I pushed inbetween them, interrupting their conversation. I heard bits of their conversation as I walked by. I heard Arnold say, "frightened" and gereld say "Ya, But..." and then Arnold said, "around 6 o'clo-"
There wasn't much information, but I wonder if Arnold was frightened of coming over my house, or had he seen the look of fear on my face before? I hoped it was the first one. I walked out to the bus, and walked up the three, far apart steps, and frowned at the female bus driver. She was a little over-weight, and her red hair stuck out of her head like a duster. I walked past her, and slumped into the same seat I had been in that morning. As I was looking out of the window, in a gaze, I felt something-or someone, rub my left arm with their hand. In quick reaction, I looked at the person, startled...Oh, Arnold. I should have thought.
"What are you doing here, football head?!" I responded, in a low growl. He sighed and looked into my blue eyes givingly and responded, saying, "Well, I am cutting the time short- by three hours. It might make it easier if I just got off the bus with you. We can do homework, and..." he looked down to the floor, then back up into my eyes, "stuff."
My body went almost limp as he said those words. I wasn't ready for him to come over, now! I mean, first of all, I was ashamed of my parents, what might he think of them? I could atleast try and get them civilized before he came over, but nooo, dang football head had to go and cut the time short. Sheesh, couldn't he give her time to prepare?
I looked into his lush green eyes again, and melted into them. It was like- like they said everything he was thinking. It was like I could read his mind. His eyes tell me that he...he is going to do much more than 'do homework' but I wondered...what was he thinking of doing?
__________________________________
Well, that's the end of chapter one, how do you like it? *smiles* I think it might be going too fast, or something but oh well. PLEEEEEASE tell me what you think of this! I am writing a second chapter soon, so if you liked this one and are planning to read the second, it should be up soon. Thankies :) (R+R pweeez! *puppy eyes*)