"Anger ventilated often hurries towards forgiveness; anger concealed often hardens towards revenge."
–Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Scott Pilgrim: Infinite
Chapter 1: A New Day
The following account takes place about one month after Gideon's demise. I made up the exact date, because Volume 6 doesn't exactly tell you when it takes place.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
3:33 p.m.
Stephen Stills' House
"Hey, guys." Scott announced as he casually strolled into the house owned by both Stephen Stills and (formerly Young) Neil.
Scott Pilgrim
Hero of the Story
24 Years Old
Rating: Really Awesome
Scott made his way into the dining area, where Stephen and Neil were sitting at the table eating lunch.
"Isn't it a little early for you to be getting out of bed, Scott?" Stephen asked him.
Stephen Stills
'The Talent'
23 Years Old
Status: Scott is an idiot.
"I've been up since noon." Scott said as he opened the fridge and looked inside.
"Right." Stephen said, taking a few careful sips of his coffee.
"Where's Kim?" Scott asked. "And where the hell is the fruit cup I left in here on Friday?"
"Kim's in the bathroom," Stephen said, "and I ate the fruit cup yesterday."
"What?" Scott said, bolting up from the fridge. "Why did you eat it? It was mine!"
"It didn't have your name on it."
"Yes, it did! 'Scott's fruit cup,' written in a black Sharpie on the plastic cover?!"
"Oh, well." Stephen said, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth. "Possessions are fleeting, man."
Scott put his hand under Stephen's coffee cup and pushed it up, causing the hot caffeinated beverage to spill all over Stephen.
"AWW! DUDE!" Stephen shouted, jumping up from his chair. "Not cool!"
"Oh, well." Scott shrugged his shoulders. "Possessions are fleeting."
"You're gonna get it." Stephen said, pushing his chair out of the way.
"No, I don't want it." Scott ran out of the kitchen
"Come 'ere!" Stephen ran after him.
"Nope!"
As Stephen chased after Scott, Kim entered the kitchen and walked over to the table, studying the mess and observing Stephen and Scott.
"Why?" She asked Neil.
Kim Pine
Dated Scott
24 Years Old
Status: Kim-ish
"Stephen ate Scott's fruit cup." Neil said.
Neil Nordegraf
Lives Here
21 Years Old
Status: Carefree
"Ah." Kim said, taking a seat at the table and picking up a piece of toast. She took a butter knife and scooped a small mass of grape jelly out of the jar and spread it across the well-browned toast.
"Leave me alone!" Scott shouted from the other room.
"So, how are things between you and Stacey?" Kim asked as she took a bite of the jellied toast.
"Uh, pretty good… I think." Neil said.
"Put down my guitar!"
"How are things between you and, uh…"
"I'm not dating anyone." Kim said.
"Oh. What happened with that one guy, uh…?"
"Jason and I broke up, like, 5 months ago. He cheated on me with my roommate Holly, and now he's dead to me."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Whatever. I'm over it."
"Shoryuken!" Scott exclaimed, followed by the sound of wood snapping.
"That sounds like a big deal." Kim said, putting down her toast as she and Neil made their way into the living room, where Stephen lay in a heap on the floor. Underneath Stephen was once a coffee table, but was now a broken pile of wood and sticks.
"Oh, that's not good." Kim said.
"Shit." Stephen stirred as he lifted himself up.
"Sorry." Scott said.
"Sorry?" Stephen said. "No. 'Sorry' doesn't cut it when you knock me into my coffee table with my guitar. 'Sorry' is replacing both of those things that you broke."
"Okay, okay. I will." Scott assured him. "Can we go back to the beginning when I walked in the front door?"
"No!" Stephen said.
"Yes, we can." Kim said. "Scott, go outside and then come back in, and we can pretend this never happened."
Scott walked to the door and opened it, walked out, and closed the door behind.
"Asshole." Stephen muttered.
Knock knock knock!
"Oh, just get in here!" Stephen shouted.
"I can't!" Scott called. "The door's locked and I dropped my key into the bowl on the mantle!"
Kim covered her face with her hand as Stephen resigned himself to go and open the door for Scott.
"Get in here." He growled, frustrated at Scott.
"Is that any way to treat a friend?" Scott said.
"Get in here before I—"
"Just cut it out and be nice, guys." Kim said.
"Fine." Stephen said, heavily, turning back to Scott. "Come on in, buddy."
"Thanks buddy." Scott smiled, entering the house.
"Don't mind the mess. Some crazy asshole just spilled some coffee and smashed the coffee table with my guitar."
"Ha ha ha." Scott fake-laughed as he walked past Stephen. "Hi, Kim. How are you?"
"Hello, Scott. I'm fine. Thanks for asking." She said, laughing internally as she decided to humor Scott. "How are you?"
"I'm awesome." Scott said. "And how are you, Neil?"
"Cut it out!" Stephen said.
"Grumpy much?" Scott asked.
"Shut up." Stephen said, walking back to the kitchen. "Just shut up."
A Few Minutes Later…
"So, where's Ramona?" Kim asked. She and her friends all sat around the kitchen table. They had all finished eating their brunch and rejoiced in conversation.
"She said she would be running errands after work." Scott said. "She'll probably be back by four-ish."
"Oh."
"Why are we still sitting at the table?" Scott asked. "We already finished eating."
"I don't know." Kim said. "It's the most convenient place for all of us to sit and talk?"
"I guess." Stephen said.
"It's kinda boring." Scott said. "Can we skip to the part where Ramona gets here?"
NO.
"Why not?"
BECAUSE I SAID NO.
"Please?"
NO.
"Who the hell are you talking to?" Stephen asked.
"The narrator." Scott said.
"What?" Kim said.
"The narrator." Scott repeated. "You know, the guy who tells the story?"
"Are you receiving alien transmissions?" Neil asked.
"Nevermind."
"How are things with Ramona?" Kim asked.
"Things are great with Ramona. I just wish it wasn't taking so long for her to get here."
…
"Hello!" Scott shouted. "Hey! Anyone there?!"
…
"Oh, real mature!"
"Scott?" Kim said.
"Yeah?"
"It's easy enough to deal with your usual stupidity, but this is on a whole different level."
"What's your point?"
"You're scaring us. Cut it out." Stephen said.
"Fine." Scott sighed. "Hey, Neil. Did you see that movie with that guy in it?"
"What guy?" Neil asked.
"You know, that one guy from that other movie."
"The movie about that guy who does that thing?"
"Yeah. And then at the end, everyone dies anyway."
"Is it the one with that other guy from that movie with that one girl?"
"What? No. We're not on the same page here. Let me explain the movie to you. Okay, so there's this guy, who…"
One Hour Later…
"Hey." Ramona said as she walked into the kitchen.
Ramona Flowers
American Ninja Delivery Girl
25 Years Old
Status: Dating Scott
"Finally." Kim said, dropping her head onto the table.
"Hey!" Scott said as Ramona leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss. "We were just talking about you."
"Really." Ramona said.
"No, we weren't." Stephen said.
"Aw." Ramona said, lightheartedly.
"We were!" Scott said. "We totally were talking about you. Kim, weren't we?"
"Yeah." Kim said. "Like an hour ago. You complained about Ramona not being here and started yelling. Then you went off about this movie you saw which was, in your words, 'an epic of epic epicness,' yet you can't seem to remember the name of the movie or any of the actors."
"Really?" Scott said. "An hour ago? Huh."
"So…" Ramona said, taking a seat right beside Scott. "What was so amazing about this movie?"
"NO!" Both Stephen and Kim shouted.
"What?" Ramona said, defensively. "What did I say?"
"Didn't you hear what we said?" Stephen said. "He started talking an hour ago and didn't shut up until you got here."
"Oh, yeah." Scott said. "That reminds me, I didn't even get to the best part, yet."
"Okay, new rule." Stephen said. "No story telling unless I approve of it."
"But it's not a story," Scott protested, "It's a movie!"
"If you can't remember the name, then it's a story." Stephen said.
"But it's not!" Scott whined.
"End of discussion. Drop it."
"You can just tell me about it later, baby." Ramona said to Scott.
"Okay, fine." Scott said, dejectedly. "How was work?"
"I don't wanna talk about work."
"How was not work?"
"Not work was great. Thanks for asking. How was your day?"
"Well, I woke up about 4 hours ago. I played Final Fantasy VIII for about 2 hours and then I came here."
"Sounds great."
"It was."
"You know," Kim said, "as crazy as this might sound, it's kinda boring when there aren't people trying to kill you and control the future of Ramona's love life."
"Heh-heh-heh, it's funny because I was just thinking the exact same thing." Scott joked.
"Yeah, I'm bored, too." Ramona said. "Hey, are you working tomorrow?"
"No. Why—what's up?"
"That's good. We need to go to IKEA tomorrow and pick out a new bed."
"Oh, yeah. Because of…"
"Yeah."
"Something wrong with your bed?" Kim asked.
"It broke." Ramona said, shamelessly.
"I can only imagine why." Kim said.
"Beds break all the time." Scott said. "It happens to everyone."
"That's enough with the furniture talk." Stephen said.
"What's wrong with you?" Ramona asked.
"Nothing." Stephen said, plainly.
"Then stop being a dick." Ramona turned back to Scott. "I guess I'll just have the bed delivered and you can help me put it together later."
"Can't we just get one of those self-assembling beds from Bed, Bath & Beyond?"
"They don't sell self-assembling beds at Bed, Bath & Beyond." Ramona said. "In fact, I'm not even familiar with 'self-assembling beds.' "
"Haven't you ever been to the 'Beyond' section of Bed, Bath & Beyond?" Scott asked.
"No."
"Me neither, but if it's anything like in movies then they should have something along the lines of 'self-assembling beds.' "
"Right…" Ramona said. "I'll see what I can find."
Later That Night…
"…I don't like this." Scott said as he lay in bed with Ramona. While the frame of the bed was broken, the bed itself wasn't unusable. However, even placed upon the box spring, the bed was still much closer to the floor. Climbing into the bed was like climbing into a Corvette.
"I could get used to it." Ramona said, placing her right arm across Scott's chest.
"I meant the silence."
"What?"
Scott sat up in bed. "Remember what Kim said earlier? About the evil exes?"
"Don't tell me you miss that."
"No, no. Of course not. It's just…" Scott looked away for a moment. "It's… It's over, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, no more exes. No more people trying to kill me?"
"Not as far as I know."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'd be lying if I said I've only dated 7 people." She said. "I'm surprised only 7 of them came after you."
"You've dated other people?" Scott didn't sound too surprised. "Like… vampires?"
"Heh. There's no such thing as vampires." Ramona laughed off his comment.
"Okay, so who have you dated?"
"I've told you about Doug, right?"
"Uh… yeah. The 'dick,' right?"
"Yeah. He dumped me, ironically, and he was the last guy I dated before Gideon."
"Do I have to worry about him?"
"I wouldn't." Ramona rolled her eyes. "I doubt that he'd even remember my name. I'm sure a lot of other girls would say the same thing about him."
"Okay. Anyone else?"
"Well… In university, I dated a guy named Joel. He was a half-decent guy, I guess. I dated him for a while. Then we kind of ended. It was a mutual thing."
"Joel? What was he like?"
"He was a very busy guy. It was like he never had time for me. I rarely saw him outside of school, and it was a live-in dorm."
"How do you date a guy that you never see?"
"Well…" Ramona turned over onto her back. "We never really 'went out' so to speak. Whenever he was there, we would just kind of… meet up."
"Meet up?" Scott already knew what that meant. "You mean…?"
"Yeah." Ramona diverted her eyes from Scott when she said this.
"Wow." Scott tried to unhear the thought.
"So… after a while, we just kind of stopped and then I started dating Roxie. After I finished university, I moved to Seattle and I met a guy named Jack. I saw him for almost a year. While I was with Jack, I also met the Twins."
"Wait, you dated them and Jack?"
"Not really. Jack was a bit weird, to say the least."
"Marilyn Manson-weird or Charles Manson-weird?"
"I can't really answer that. We met the Twins at a nightclub in Cherry Hill. Jack wanted some tech from them, so I went over and chatted them up. It really wasn't my intention to get involved with either of them."
"How do you end up dating 2 guys that you don't even want to date?"
"They were eccentric. It started the day after the club, when Kyle asked me out. The next night it was Ken. I didn't want to date either of them, but they were insistent. They were always offering to take me to fancy restaurants, buying me expensive stuff."
"That's kind of trashy."
"Hey!" Ramona sat up in bed. "It's not like they had anything else to give me."
"That sounds really trashy."
"Shut up." Ramona said. "That's just the way I used to be. I'm above all that material bullshit."
"Alright. How long did you juggle the Twins?"
"About 2 weeks. Then they found out that Jack was stealing computers from them and they freaked out. When they confronted him, he threw me to the sharks and left me out to dry. In the end, the Twins were angrier at me than they were at him."
"Wow, what a jerk."
"Yeah, I guess." Ramona lay back down in bed. "I was kind of relieved. They were both trying to get serious with me, and I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. Jack kind of bailed me out."
"What about Jack?"
"I was just looking for a good time. Jack knew just how to show me that. That's something I always loved about him."
"You loved him?"
"No." Ramona said. "I never loved him. I don't think he ever loved me, either. But what we had, whatever it was… certainly was the most fun I'd ever had."
"What about me?" Scott asked. "I'm fun, too, right?"
"Yeah, well… no offense, Scott, but it's not really fun when 7 of your exes try to kill your boyfriend. It's actually the kind of thing that would plead therapy."
"Good point." Scott resigned. "…I'm still the nicest guy, right?"
Ramona smiled at him. "Of course you are, baby. And right now, you're the only man in my life who matters."
"Really?" Scott asked as leaned in, close to her face.
"Yep." Ramona brought her head up to meet Scott. "You bet."
"Any girls?"
"Shut up." Ramona laughed as she wrapped her arms around Scott's neck and pulled him into a long, hot kiss. After what seemed like a second but what may have been more than an hour, Scott broke the kiss.
"I love you." He said.
"How much do you love me?" Ramona cooed at him.
"More than anything in this world." Scott pressed his face into Ramona's neck and began kissing and sucking at her skin.
"Tell me more." Ramona wrapped her arms around Scott's neck and back. Soon, the room was filled with sounds of ecstasy and determination from the both of them.
Elsewhere, in Downtown Toronto…
The next scene takes place in a room in a hotel which hosted only those who had the money to burn. In a room that was well-decorated with expensive furniture. The room was made as sort of a lounge, where people met for leisure. The lights were all turned off, save for one light in a corner by the door. The light of the moon shown through the window
At this window there was a man sitting in a chair. He stared out the window, looking down at the lights below midnight Toronto. This was a man of a great philosophy and a strong morale. He was somewhat of a loner, as he had been rejected by society once before; he had no trust in anyone other than those as untrusting as himself. While he was lost in deep thought, he could not be surer of his plan. He was set on a course of action, and would not stray from them, even though he knew just how wrong they were.
IT'S THE RIGHT THING. He hears a voice from deep down inside.
"But it's not." He said to himself.
WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER.
"I'd like to think that's true." He said.
IT'S THE TRUTH, WHETHER OR NOT YOU CHOOSE TO RECEIVE IT. IT'LL BE EASIER WHEN YOU ACCEPT REALITY.
"Her existence doesn't affect us. Taking her would be pointless."
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
"Right. Whatever you say."
"Hey." He hears the voice of a woman. He turns around to see the door is opened and a woman in blue has entered the room.
"Maude." He said. "What's the word?"
"We found her." The woman named Maude said.
"Where?"
"In a townhouse in the suburbs. She lives with her boyfriend."
"Tell the others." He said. "And get some sleep. Tomorrow, we go to work."
"Right." Maude turned to leave.
"One more thing."
"What is it?" She stopped and turned around.
"…What's his name?"
End Chapter 1