Three Sisters and a House-Elf
Once upon a time it was a crime to commence a story with the words "once upon a time." You were beheaded if you did such a thing, and the story you were going to tell was lost forever.
We do not live in those days, however. But we do live in a strange time, for in the Daily Prophet the other day I read about a witch named Hermione Weasley who is working to get her organization called S.P.E.W. off the ground. This organization strives for the rights of house-elves, whom Mrs. Weasley thinks deserve wages and sick leave! Of all the outrageous things I've ever heard!
I think this affects me most because there was a time when I wished I were a House-Elf. I was in love with this witch, see. Linda Crisscrow was her name. And I wanted to do everything she ordered me to, no questions asked. I don't know if everyone feels this way about people they have crushes on, but that's how I felt about Linda.
It was the fifth year when I fell in love with Linda, and at that time I thought her little sister, Caramella, was a nuisance, especially since she was in Ravenclaw and Linda and I were in Hufflepuff. But then, when we were in our seventh years and Caramella in her fifth, she had acquired a beauty that I couldn't ignore anymore. I wanted to be her slave, too. Not that I loved Linda any less. But now I wanted her sister to boss me around as well.
My desires to be a House-Elf might now have gone anywhere if Linda's older sister, Ashleigh, hadn't shown up near the time we were to take our N.E.W.T.'s. Ashleigh was four years Linda's senior and had attended Beauxbatons instead of Hogwarts, so I had never seen her before. She was really radiant, so much that she took my breath away.
Now I was in love with all three sisters—Ashleigh, Linda, and Caramella. I hoped an opportunity would arrive in which I could tell them I wanted to be their slave, and it did.
The night after Ashleigh left, I caught Linda crying and asked her what was wrong.
"My parents died," she said, tears streaming down her face. "Father was killed by a giant and Mother stopped eating. Now they're both gone."
I put my arm around her shoulder. Since I wasn't her boyfriend, under normal circumstances she would've minded. But I knew that if ever there was a time to ask her if I could be her House-Elf, now was it.
"Anything else bothering you?"
"Well, yes. The guy my sister Ashleigh was going to marry eloped with someone else. She fears she'll be an old maid."
"That's really bad."
"Yeah. But worse still is that I'm about to graduate from Hogwarts and then Caramella will be the only one left here. This wouldn't be a problem in itself, but the fact is that due to the wedding being off, Ashleigh will be working full-time, and then I'll have to work, and there'll be no one to keep the house neat!" She wailed when she finished these words.
Ifr I had been more daring I might've kissed her tears away. But I was afraid she would take offense if I attempted to do this.
"I have a solution," I said.
"You do?" she asked, looking at me incredulously.
"Yes. You could turn me into a House-Elf."
"Oh no, Willie. That's a ridiculous suggestion."
"But Linda," I said, taking her hand in mine. "I want to be your House-Elf. I mean, I want to do whatever you say, and have no choice in the matter."
"Oh, I know what this is," she said, irritably. "You…you think you might be in love with me. Well, forget it, Willie. I won't have anything to do with you anymore." She stood up and ran off.
I was miserable, for about three days. On the fourth day, Caramella approached me. "Linda wanted me to tell you that she's sorry. She wants to talk to you again, after dinner tonight. She thought it best if I tell you beforehand."
"Thank you," I said, while thinking how much I wanted to kiss Caramella's forehead.
After dinner, Linda approached me. "I talked to Ashleigh about what you suggested, and she said she thinks very highly of the idea. I reckon it's because her fiancee's abandonment of her has caused her to think very little of men these days. Whatever the case, you can be made into our House-Elf. Do you know the spell that will cause the transformation?"
I shook my head.
"No matter. Ashleigh said one of her old friends from Beauxbatons will know one. Anyhow, welcome to the family." She extended her hand, which I shook. "But I promise that I will make your life as our House-Elf extremely miserable. Well, cheerio. I've got to study for the Transfiguration N.E.W.T. Since you're going to be a House-Elf, you needn't study at all. Enjoy your last moments of freedom, Willie!"
But I knew I wouldn't enjoy them, since my only happiness resided in the thought of being the slave of Linda Crisscrow and her two sisters. And I had to study anyways, so that I could give off the semblance that I was going off to some respectable wizarding job instead of being transformed into one of the lowest of magical creatures.