"I got you a present. And I didn't wrap it. Because I'm not that type of person." Tiffany said quietly.

I studied her expression. Her eyes were cloudy with thought, her hair blowing in the breeze.

"What is it?" I inquired.

She opened her purse and casually stuck her hand in.

"It's a cloud chart. You always used to stare at the sky when we were together. I figured this way you'll be able to know which cloud is which."

She seemed to almost choke this statement out. I knew she was wondering if I was still upset with her.

"Thank you." I said softly. "I'm not upset anymore Tiff, I understand why you did it."

She slowly looked into my eyes; the first eye contact she had made with me the whole time. Her mouth gently twisted into a half-smile.

"So let's try it." I said, breaking the silence. "I mean, I know it's just one big cloud right now, but who knows what it will turn into."

I nonchalantly sat down onto the frozen ground, snow falling all around me. I laid back and stared up at the sky. Tiffany just stared down at me.

"You know you're kind of crazy." She laughed quietly. "But so am I, I guess."

And with that, she laid down next to me. We stared up there for what seemed like hours. At some point, Tiff's head ended up on my chest, and my arms around her. Then she broke the silence.

"I need you." Tiffany whispered. "I need you Pat Peoples; I need you so fucking badly," and then she began to cry hot tears onto my skin and kissed my neck softly, and sniffled.

And then once again, it was silent.

I slowly drifted away from reality. I went back in my mind to the time when I was with Nikki. She never told me she needed me. In fact, all she did was criticize me. It dawned on me then; what if it was Nikki's fault I became like this. I know I was born bipolar, but what if it developed even more because of the emotions I never experienced with her? All that anger just building up inside of me, from her tearing me down. I mean, I could never quite remember what happened after I was taken away that night. And then it hit me.

I'm alone. I hate being alone. The silence was disturbing and I felt like the walls were slowly moving in on me. So this is what isolation really is. I don't understand why I'm here, I'm the victim!

"No you aren't!" My subconscious snaps at me.

"Yes I am!" I whisper back. "She was the one with another man. I was completely faithful! I don't deserve to be treated like a criminal!"

"But you do." It whispers into my ear. "You nearly murdered a man. You're a killer. You're unstable. Do you think you deserve Nikki's love? Well, you don't."

"Yes I do!" I scream back at it. "I love her!"

"Do you really?" My subconscious chuckles at me. "Oh Pat. Don't you get it? YOU'RE SICK. WEAK. You should just die! You don't deserve this life! You're never going to live up to anyone's expectations. Kill yourself, it's more than a pathetic psychopath like you deserves."

"No!" I scream. There are tears streaming down my face. "I am not sick! I am strong! I deserve to have Nikki! I deserve to live!" As I say this, even I am starting to lose faith in myself. I mean, I did nearly kill the man. Oh my god, what if that was Nikki. What if I had hurt her? I could hurt her! I can't take that chance! "You're right!" I gasp. "I deserve to die." I say slowly.

"Yes." My subconscious gleefully hisses. "Go ahead, do it. No one will miss you. You're all alone. Can't be stopped. Do it."

"Yes. I must. For Nikki." I mutter to myself. I am tearing off my sweatshirt, tying the sleeves around my neck. I pull tighter, and tighter, my consciousness slipping. "I deserve this." I choke out. "This is for you Nikki."

"Yes." My subconscious whispers.

I hear the voice echo as I feel myself slip to the ground. Yes. Yes. Yes.

As my world fades to black, I hear someone shouting for a doctor. It's too late, I think and smile to myself. Goodbye Nikki.

I open my eyes back to the giant cloud. I can't believe that I did that. All that pain I experienced that night, it was eating me alive. I'm lucky to be alive. I would have never met Tiffany if I had died that night, and I wouldn't be lying with her right now either. As this mesmerizing thought reached my mind, I contemplated my future with her.

I watched as the one big cloud in the sky broke apart. The tiny new clouds seemed to form a ring, a house, a dog, and finally a crib. With those images in place, my imagination kicked into gear.

We would have a daughter. She would have bright blue eyes, filled with laughter. We would name her Rose, because she was as beautiful as one. Tiff, Rose, and I would stare up at the clouds whenever we could. I'd ask Rose what pictures she saw in the sky. I would encourage her thoughts, her imagination. Tiff would tell her that she could be anything she wanted to be, as long as she was happy. And all together, we would be happy, just the three of us. And in that moment, I didn't care about my past with Nikki, the night where I was given a second chance, or the fact that I had an incurable disease. I just cared that I was with the woman who loved me and wasn't afraid to tell me, and wasn't afraid of my disease. Maybe that's what silver linings really are. Finding happiness, finding ourselves, finding the person who loves us even though our hearts are battered and bruised. Silver linings don't guarantee us happy endings. They only guarantee us happy moments.

As I had this revelation, I floated back into reality. Tiffany was staring up at me, her eyes shining in the white of the snowfall. I realized right then and there, that I was in love with her. Her loud outbursts, her sarcasm, her stubbornness, her smile, her well, everything.

So I pulled her a little closer, and kissed the hard spot between her perfectly plucked eyebrows, and after a deep breath, I said, "I think I need you too."