Prologue
I feel sick. I feel empty. I thought everything was going well until Karkitty said:
CG:CAN WE NOT MAKE CONTACT FOR A WHILE?
I can honestly say I "died a little inside." But…he has been feeling bad lately.
It all started two weeks ago, when Eridan asked me to the dance. Karkitty was away on a business trip with his father. Before he left, he said we were supposed to go together to the dance as friends…but I forgot. How could I say no to Eridan though? Karkitty knows I have a crush on Eridan…
But I guess it was my fault that Karkitty got sad. I mean I did say I was going to go with him…
He got depressed and kept telling me all these very depressing things before admitting that he was jealous. I was truly shocked when he told me that. I couldn't, and still can't, understand why. It hadn't been a week since he told me that I was his bestest friend; someone he considered a moirail.
So why was he jealous? I couldn't stay with him forever. Eventually I'd find a matepsrit and be with them.
Yet…why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel bad that I'm falling in love and leaving Karkitty behind? Wasn't this inevitable? It isn't like I'm leaving him for good! I'd still want to hang out with him every now and then. But…I feel sad…when I think that we will part ways.
Today I did as he said; I didn't talk to him, I didn't go to him like I usually would every morning, I didn't acknowledge him−Well, except when he sneezed. Instead I went with Feferi and Eridan. I was happy to see them…but I felt sick to my stomach. I felt empty…even if I was with Eridan. Karkitty was close by...but he felt so far away. Terezi wouldn't talk to me either. I wonder if she was upset at me again. She should be. I made Karkitty sad after all…