Okay. So, on to a new multichapter story that will probably make no sense. Its just figments of my imagination threaded together. Forgive me if it appears clumsy.
Have fun.
Oh, disclaimer: I do NOT own HP. And all characters below g to JK except the ones I made up.
Also, Marlene happens to be my best friend's name too. I've seen that name used in this same position, as Lily's bff in many stories, and I swear I'm not stealing the idea or anything. I've always thought of naming her beat friend after mine. This Marlene's a lot like my Mar too.
Onward.
...
" Transfiguring a part of the human body into an inanimate object requires an immense amount of concentration and precise wand work. To be able to successfully transfigure the human body, one must always—"
"I'm off to bed, Lily." Marlene McKinnon yawned widely from behind her hand, talking over her best friend's murmuring. Lily Evans was nestled in the armchair by the fire, her nose had been buried in their 6th year transfiguration book. She looked up at the sound of Marlene's voice, green eyes a little startled. Marlene rolled her eyes. Knowing Lily, she'd probably forgotten there was another person in the common room barmy enough to unwillingly stay up reading till two in the morning. But sleep took hold of the young witch's eyes and if she had to hear another word about switching spells, she might just tear her hair off.
Lily nodded at her best friend, a silent acknowledgement of her announcement, and then probably realizing it was rude, she hastily muttered a good night.
"You're not coming up?!" Marlene got up and stretched, her tone mockingly incredulous. " My, my Lily. But you always go to bed so early!"
"Shut it, Mar." The red head returned to her book, a smile on her face at her friend's silly words," Do me a favour and go to sleep already. I don't think I can stand another one of your pathetic attempts at a joke."
"Ah...but you're smiling Lily dear. I win. Goodnight you bookworm. Don't stay up too late." And for a second, worry flashed in Marlene's brown eyes; Lily had been like this ever since the attack last week.
" I know, I won't." Lily did her best assuring tone, " I just have to finish this chapter and I'll be right up. Goodnight."
Sighing, Marlene made her way up the stairs to the girl's dorm, rubbing the sleep from eyes, still worrying about Lily's recent insomnia. She wondered if she's the only one who noticed it, but then again, judging by James Potter's concerned glances, maybe not.
Lily returned to her reading, listening to the sounds of Marlene's fading footsteps and the soft thump of a closing door. The fire crackled and popped in the hearth and she liked the way it warmed her toes. She liked the silence, enjoyed the peace. It was only during these late hours that she got time to think, to just be alone with her thoughts.
Life was unfair, she decided, abandoning her book and staring into the fire. She knew she shouldn't be thinking that way, especially since she had a lot more than what she deserved. Great friends, an amazing school, a large library and her family...
A family she almost lost.
Again, the front page of last week's Daily Prophet swam before her eyes. The sight of pure destruction, houses crashed down, rubble everywhere, muggles lying on the ground in a lifeless heap, some stirring, some dead. Many screaming and crying silently. A mother and her mangled child, an old man, dead on the floor, sheer terror frozen on his face. And then the words jumped up at her from the page, ...another death eater attack, this time at Cokeworth in the little village of Blackwester. "
Blackwester. Cokeworth. Home.
Lily had waited that day, trembling and shaky in every hour, waited for the headmaster to send for her or for Prof. McGonagall to pull her out of class. When Jamie Addison had walked out of Herbology with the professor, ashen and quivering, Lily had to bite back a whimper. It was horribly terrifying. So, so terrifying, she barely ate that day, or slept that night. She had owled her parents immediately after getting her hands on the Daily Prophet but got no reply the whole day. She knew she wouldn't, owls could only go so fast, but the horrible twisting in her stomach, the uneasy tightening of her chest, all of it drove her reasoning out of the window.
And it was only when, the next morning at the breakfast table as she sat ignoring her friends' pleas to eat something, ignoring Potter's eyes boring into her head filled with a genuine worry that she did not see clearly then, it was only when she felt a soft pressure on her shoulder and looked up to see Professor Dumbledore gazing down at her with an apologetic and worried face, apologising for not informing her that her parents and sister were safe and unharmed thanks to the goodness of God, it was then that she felt relief. An emotion so intense, her knees were weak and she couldn't even thank the headmaster properly, barely managing a small squeak of appreciation.
But Lily Evans was now thoroughly shaken.
It did not help that the Slytherins seemed to know that her family had been just a mile away from destruction. Their previous jeers and teasing and threats turned into something a lot more sinister and grave. But Lily would never ever let them see it affected her. She could pretend it was nothing in front of the others but she couldn't lie to herself. It scared her. It scared her that she was a muggleborn, something that Lord Voldemort despised to no end, it scared her that her family was in danger because of her abilities. It scared her how unfair the world was, how her life, as she knew it , was slowly being ripped apart.
She had always known she wanted to help stop the monster that was Tom Riddle. She always thought she would try to help. But it wasn't until the situation hit so close to home, both literally and otherwise, that she realised none of this was a game anymore. The castle, its warm walls, filled with friends and laughter, the classes, the exams, the mere safety of it all...it was all just an illusion. For the moment she stepped out, she would be what she really was, a muggleborn; and no matter how talented they thought she was, or how brilliant her academic records were, she would be hunted. Killed. Like all the other mudbloods.
No one would understand that.
But Lily Evans was a warrior. She was not about to hide from anyone. She was most definitely not going to stand for this injustice. A sleeping fire in her heart had been awakened and she was ready to let it loose. The magical world was where she belonged. But muggles were a part of her. And no one deserved to mete out such monstrosity to poor innocent souls. No one. She was on fire. And now all she needed was a way to put her skills to good use. Contribute in any way she can.
Prof. Dumbledore gave her that chance.
He'd pulled her aside one evening, after a particularly nasty transfiguration lesson, and asked her to take a walk with him. They had strolled through the grounds in silence, Dumbledore humming to himself. Lily had been fidgeting with nervous energy. The professor, with his unusual ways, was making her feel like she would burst if she didn't tell him about her intentions to fight. To make a difference. Probably because she knew that if anyone could give her a chance, it was professor Dumbledore.
"I do realize, Miss Evans, that there is something weighing on your mind."
Lily swallowed. But the old man continued to speak," And I realize what it is as well."
Ignoring the look of surprise on her face, Professor Dumbledore pulled out a packet of Sherbert Lemons from nowhere and offered it to her. She took one without a word.
"Ah.." he sighed contently as the sweet melted in his mouth, "Muggles and their sweets. So plain, and yet so exciting. "
"Professor... about—"
"Hmm? Oh yes, of course. Listen closely, Lily. What with the recent dwindling in the numbers of our Aurors, the Ministry has requested a rather risky procedure of me and some of the other magical schools, to...how shall I put this... select a prize few of our students who are willing to make a difference. Not merely select, but also train. The grave situation out there is the only thing propelling me to ask this of you young ones and let me tell you, that in a world where so many are trying to save themselves first, there are quite a few who would step forward to do the right thing. And I think my students are quite rich in that aspect. Now all I am doing, is extending that offer to you. The world could use your talent, Lily and I know you would want to join straight away but please give it a thorough thought ."
"I'm in."
The professor fixed her with a gaze, his unnerving blue eyes scanning her. It should've made Lily uncomfortable but she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, almost glaring back. She didn't really believe Dumbledore; how could there be 'quite a few' who wanted to fight? How many would be willing to put their life on the line? Most of them didn't know how cruel the world out there was. How could he expect them to actually put their own lives in jeopardy? No, people would only be serious about it if they knew what it was like to be at the bottom of the food chain. She didn't expect many brave hearts to be there, maybe a few exceptional ones but that was it. She was alone. And she would fight alone if she had to.
"You are not quite alone, my dear." Dumbledore smiled faintly, she half believed he had peeked into her head, " In fact, I imagine you'd be surprised at the number of people who turn up, and also by the participants themselves."
"Somehow, professor, I doubt it. " she clenched her fists. " I'm not really sure that there would be people willing to risk themselves for the rest of us. Even if they do show up, it's probably going to be out of excitement or a little want of adventure." And inexplicably, she thought of Potter and his friends. How they used to hex people just for the fun of it before, but now, had recently been a lot less of bullies and a lot more Griffindor-ish. She found herself hoping that they were genuine in their heroism and righteousness. Because if they weren't, she realized she would be a little crushed.
Because despite everything they'd ever done, Lily had always believed, deep down, that they were good people. Righteous people. People who would fight to protect the oppressed and put an end to injustice, because otherwise, the sorting hat would've put them somewhere else. Even though Potter drove her crazy, he was a good person inside. He deserved a second chance.
Only, he managed to crumple up all her forgiveness and toss it out the window with his arrogance.
Or, he used to.
Professor Dumbledore smiled knowingly and then steered her back towards the castle." At any rate, you have two days to think about it. If you still wish to assist this old man in his efforts, I shall see you in the third classroom down the East wing on Saturday evening. 6 o clock."
He offered her another Sherbet lemon, and when she declined, insisted that she have it. " It is all the little things, Lily. A sweet, a laugh with a friend, a person to give your heart to, a cause to fight for. It is all the little joys in life makes us different from The Dark Lord. So never hesitate to take it. Fill yourself with that light, child. It will only do you good."
She took another sweet then, and popped it into her mouth, contemplating his words. The last few days, she'd been a mess, always moody and down, detached from her friends, not even bothering to yell at Sirius for planting a dung bomb in the commonroom (That had earned her a worried glance from the same boy.)
They had reached the castle and Dumbledore parted with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. Before he got far, she called back to him, "Professor!"
He turned around, smiling.
"Thank you."
" In the face of darkness Lily, smile, and it shall run away from you. Good evening."
And he walked away.
Today was Friday. Tomorrow, was the meeting. Lily couldn't wait. It was almost Christmas and things were starting to look hopeful. Her classes were going well, the Marauders had been a little less severe, after her falling out with James the year before. In the last two months, he'd stopped asking her out, deflated his head a bit, and she actually stumbled upon him doing good deeds, like defending another unfortunate muggleborn from being taunted by the Slytherins. Luckily, one time, she'd run into them before he could do much damage with his wand. And the funniest thing was, he didn't even try to show off or anything, just looked incredibly weary at her appearance, snapped at Mulciber dangerously when he chose to jab at her next, and once the situation was cleared up, ended everything with just an offer to walk her back to the common room for the sake of being careful. Which she had accepted in a daze.
And as if that wasn't enough, they'd started to get friendly...well, slightly and she found herself enjoying his humour and his changed attitude.
And as if that wasn't enough, she started to get bloody palpitations and stupid annoying twists in her stomach from time to time, courtesy his voice, or an accidental touch or a meaningful conversation or a meeting with his eyes.
It was all bloody stupid.
But it was a change for the better. She didn't want to be enemies with the boys. At all. They just annoyed her to the point if madness sometimes. Especially James. And even if they were on amicable terms...well, kind of, she still shouted at him for his regular pranks and he still shouted back. But she never actually went back to hating him. And she hoped he didn't hate her.
Wait...did she say hate? She meant dislike...you know...lose respect for her or something...because she didn't want anybody to be upset with her or not like her...especially James... Wait! NOT especially James, but especially anybody!
Oh screw that, she didn't want him to hate her. At all. Although it was nice to be able to hear herself think again now that he'd stopped badgering her every two seconds, it was kind of unsettling. It almost seemed like he'd lost interest.
And what if he has? Get your head in the game, Lily. This is Potter we're talking about.
Yes, indeed. A very annoying, bullying arrogant toerag. Wait. Former arrogant bullying toerag. Because he wasn't that now. If anything, only his mischievous streak and charm was left behind, which she found could be quite endearing if she tried, accompanied by devilishly good looks. But that was secondary. Right? Right.
Riiiiiight.
Lily shook her head to clear her thoughts. She didn't want to be thinking about James Potter tonight, she wanted to think about what she'd do with herself tomorrow. Absently fingering her soft quill, she gazed out of the window and saw the moon high up in the sky, casting its silvery glow all around, looking alone and sad and weary. In the distance, a wolf howled.
Suddenly, the portrait hole opened.
Lily jumped at the sound, whipping out her wand and holding it steady. There seemed to be no one there.
And then spontaneously, out of nowhere, James Potter appeared a few feet in front of her, as the portrait door closed.
Lily was about to let him have an earful for 1)Scaring her like that 2) Wandering outside in his bloody cloak again after curfew and...
...and that's when she realized his face was as white as snow and he was unsteady on his feet.
"Fancy meeting you here, Evans." His voice was terribly strained but with a tinge of surprise. He wasn't expecting her to be there. "Studying, are you?"
"Potter." She inched closer, lowering her wand, letting the firelight illuminate his form for her. His dark hair looked windswept and his eyes were gaunt. Sleepy, tired. And then she saw the blood on his arm.
Lily took in a sharp breath." You're bleeding!"
He didn't even glance at it, just shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. " Yeah...its just a scratch, reckon it'll go away in a bit"
" Its a deep gash, you git. I can see it from here." Lily took another step forward. She was sure she looked worried now and a small part of her wondered why Potter wasn't jumping for joy at her concern. Then, realizing that was incredibly shallow, she dismissed it " You should see madam Pomfrey. She'll fix you up in a –"
"No." His tone was surprisingly firm, a tad harsh. And then he sighed, realizing it. " Sorry, Lily. I'm a bit tired, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
And he made for the staircase , cloak in hand when she waved her wand and he froze. Lily walked up in front of him and he gave her a very annoyed, irritated, angry look. She ignored it smoothly. "You were with Remus weren't you?"
She saw his eyes widen involuntarily, and then he struggled to compose himself. She shook her head, indicating it would be futile to lie because she knew. " I know, okay? Figured it out a while ago but I didn't know you went with him. That was incredibly dangerous. And stupid, Potter. What if you're infected now?!"
And James Potter, that arrogant biscuit, he rolled his eyes at her.
She flicked her wand furiously and he unfroze, continuing to look completely unruffled by her worry.
Did she say worry? She meant accusation.
"I've been doing this for months, Evans." He crossed his arms, eyes looking mysteriously silvery-orange in the combined light of the moon and the fire; It was actually a little distracting; " And I've never gotten hurt. None of us have."
Lily paled." The others go with you too?"
"Of course." James sighed and then fixed her with worried eyes. "Look, I get it that you know now but I'm begging you not to tell anyone. Please, Lily. Not the teachers, or any of the students. No one is supposed to know. Remus, he's—"
"I wasn't about to tell anybody." Lily took a step back, unreasonably stung that he'd thought she would blabber. " I wasn't even going to. And I get it that you can't go to madam Pomfrey but look at yourself, James. You're dead on your feet."
His eyes betrayed his surprise at her concern now, and for a moment he hesitated, unsure of what to do. Lily was paying him attention, he was supposed to lap it up but Remus was disturbed that night and it worried him immensely.
A beat's silence was broken only by the sound of the fire in the fireplace, and their breathing. He was, as usual, a little breathless at the sight in front of him. Lily Evans in her pyjamas, the firelight dancing of her hair, making it look like it was alive, and her bright green eyes, specked with worry. Worry for him, and his friends. There was that crease on her forehead, one that indicated she had a lot on her mind. And then James realized his arm was beginning to burn. Badly.
" W-well, what am I supposed to do?"
The crease disappeared. Lily actually looked relieved.
"Go and lie down on the couch. I think I know enough healing charms for this... I hope."
James stared at her for a moment, and then obeyed, stalking over to the couch. He dropped onto it tiredly, wincing as he settled down. The stupid wound was beginning to burn badly now. Lily watched him for a few seconds, mentally scolding herself for getting too free with him, but then quickly dismissed the thought as James tilted his head back, to look at her upside down. She swiftly summoned a bottle of Essence of Dittany from her room and proceeded to crouch beside her patient, dabbing the liquid onto the injury. He hissed as her finger came into contact with the wounded skin.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
He watched for a moment, as she waved her wand and muttered a string of words under her breath, enraptured by the sheer brilliance that was this girl. He knew his pounding heart must be loud enough for her to hear and wondered why she wasn't mocking him. He didn't know if he was even supposed to feel this way about a girl at such a young age. She could drive him up the wall at times, he'd go crazy with her impeccable timing and her downplaying of his feelings and all the rejection and the belittling. He hated that she thought low of him. But he also knew he'd do absolutely anything for her, the woman had a death grip on his heart, a hold so strong it surprised even him. Too intense to be deemed a crush but too young for it to be love. And after the incident at the lake, he finally looked at himself in the mirror and decided that it was about time he'd changed. His head was too big for his own good, and heeding Remus's advice, he gave her some space. The whole thing did wonders. Lily was different towards him now. He had a feeling she liked him better. Heck, he liked him better like this.
"Did he...did Remus do this to you?"
Her question was quiet, so soft it almost disappeared in the sound of the cackling flames. But he managed to catch it, and a defensive retort left his mouth before he could even think. " He wasn't himself! Remus wouldn't do that on purpose."
"I know that, you idiot." She grumbled," No need to bite my head off, it was just a question."
She sat back with another flourish of her wand, waiting for something. James felt his arm go cool. He was being a git. How could he be so rude to her when she was fixing his goddamn mangled limb?!
He was an ungrateful git.
"Listen, Evans, I'm sorry."
"What?"
"For snapping at you. I should've...I mean I shouldn't have..."
A slow smile spread over her face, a sly grin. His heart rate skyrocketed. Sweet Merlin, she was going to be the death of him. " Is the great James Potter apologising to me? Well, never thought I'd live to hear that."
He turned his eyes away, for fear that his chest might burst if he looked at her a second longer, a smile of his own curving his lips. She laughed softly and as his heart lurched again, he held his breath until it passed.
"Its quite alright, Potter." Ah, crap, he'd liked 'James' better," I get it that you have a lot on you mind right now."
"Really?"
"Really." She confirmed, smiling at his wound as she began to wave her wand again. "Infact, I have to tell you...its a really brave thing you're doing."
James made the mistake of tearing his eyes away from the moon and accidentally locked them with hers. And then he couldn't move.
" I don't know how you do what you do, and I'm not going to ask you to tell me, but I just think you should know...its amazing." Her eyes twinkled, and he realized he could read them easily. Like they were made for him to figure out, a puzzle of his own. "I must say I'm actually very proud of you. All three of you. Especially because I know how Remus feels." Her eyes lost a little light, dimmed slightly filling with a bitterness he never wished to see in them again.
"Well, then you know you're not alone, Evans."
She swallowed, and he was slightly surprised at the multitude of emotions in her eyes. He had guessed way before that was how she felt, how she thought. He saw the bit of light in her disappear every time those bloody Slytherins decided to attack her. He saw how she put up the facade that she was alright, when in reality, she was shifting with restlessness inside her, desperate to do something.
He knew because he felt it too. A deep desire to make a change. Mostly because it was the right thing to do. And now, after Lily, he just had another good cause to kick some death eater arse.
Anything to keep her safe.
"You've changed, James. "
He continued to hold her gaze, afraid of letting go, " For the better?"
She grinned again, making his stomach do something very funny. " Definitely for the better. Keep this up and we might actually be best friends!"
"And then the world will freeze over!" he mocked her tone.
Lily simply rolled her eyes." Glad to know you have such confidence in our blooming friendship you absolute git."
"I'm confident you'll end up being my friend, I was only joking, Evans. Besides, I'm pretty sure you're going to end up being a lot more than just my friend as well."
"Oh look," she said, rolling her yes," The arrogant toerag is back!"
"You love him, admit it Lily."
"I hate him." she said, but the wide smile on her face gave it away. " Oh, this is ridiculous. Get some sleep, Potter. You don't want people getting suspicious in the morning do you?"
"What? That my best friend is a rampaging werewolf once a month? Nah. He's too nice and quiet for that." James attempted nonchalance but then he had to stifle a yawn. He didn't miss the triumphant grin on her face.
"Look who's sleepy. Get your arse back up to the dormitory. Go."
"Nope."
" James."
"Lily."
" Quit playing, you dolt!" She sat back in frustration," Why won't you go back up?"
" One word, sweetheart. Black."
"Oh."
Lily was ashamed to say she hadn't thought about Sirius or Pettigrew at all the last half an hour. " What about Pettigrew?"
"Upstairs. That git. Left early."
"And Sirius?"
James was silent for a while, eyes worried," I don't know."
Lily sat back on the ground, cross legged and frowning, continuing to mutter something and flick her wand, trying to completely heal the wound now that he wasn't going anywhere. She noticed James turn his eyes back to the window, jaw taut with tension or worry...or was it pain? She couldn't tell. It was almost 2:30 in the morning but Lily had never been more wide awake. Brushing back her fringes, she settled against the opposite couch, not bothering to get up from the floor, now finally done with James's arm, all that was left was for it to heal on its own now. He looked at her again, and opened his mouth to thank her but Lily raised a hand.
"I don't want your gratitude, Potter. Just rest."
He shut his mouth accordingly and looked away again. Seconds ticked by and Lily stared off into the fire, wondering what to do. She was going to wait until Black came back, an uncharacteristic worry in her heart for the ebony haired wizard. She was an idiot. How many people would actually care about such troublemakers? They'd made her life miserable the last five years!
Actually, Lily sighed internally, a little rueful now, they were just being themselves. A couple of boys. She was just too wound up to realize it. Lily had always liked Remus, and she strongly empathized with his condition. Peter was sweet, wasn't he? And Sirius Black was quite a sight, and quite lonely. And Potter, dear old James Potter...
...that vile, disgusting, but wonderful boy...
She decided at that moment that she was going to try and be civil towards them from now on. Because respect had embedded itself in Lily Evans's heart, and there was no shaking that.
"Why aren't you going to bed, Evans?"
She turned away from the flames and saw that he'd been looking at her. Lily thought she saw an indescribable emotion in his eyes, but it was probably the fire playing tricks on her.
"I'm waiting for Black."
James sighed, then smiled slightly. Lily felt a tug in her chest, the feeling startling her. "I can watch him, Lily. I think I'm well enough to fix up that bloke, thanks to you. Go back up."
"Wow, Potter." She said dryly, with no intentions of getting up, "and here I thought you enjoyed my company."
James smiled fully now, she absently noted the curve of his lips, a little thin, but very...um...nice.
"Lily,Lily,Lily," he shook his head in mock disappointment," have my years of courting revealed nothing to you? I crave your company, my lady. In fact, I crave it so much I just want to—"
"Do not finish that sentence!" she wanted to reprimand him but there was such a huge smile on her face, it gave everything away. She was caught in his net, trapped in his charm and that was that. But did she like him? Naaaah. It was probably just a minor teeny tiny attraction that would go away in a while.
Because the idea of her and James together was just preposterous.
Sad that the rest of the school didn't think so.
She smiled at the boy on the couch, he grinned back. "I think this the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Evans."
"As long as you don't screw it up with your idiocy, Potter, I think we'll be fine." She nodded slowly," and if you help me with my Transfiguration essay, I might just give you some of my Honeydukes fudge.".
"Three packets."
"Two."
"Two and a half, Lily."
"Two and a quarter, James. Take it or leave it."
"Can I have the free tattoo?"
Lily nodded, mock hesitation in her movements.
"Then I think we have a deal." James grinned," Welcome to the inexplicable friendship of James Potter."
"Is that arrogance I sense again? Because that's a bit unappealing,"
"The smile on your face says otherwise, love."
She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed quietly. Lily realized she didn't need to be mature and responsible and serious with him. She could just let go a little, always staying behind the line, of course, but she could be relaxed. Few people made her feel that way, like Marlene and now this annoying moron.
And that's when the portrait hole opened and Sirius Black stumbled in, shaking the hair out of his eyes.
Catching sight of his best mate and his best mate's best preoccupation together, Sirius froze. " Lily-bean!" he exclaimed, and James tilted his head back again like he did before.
"Something on your leg Sirius?" Lily got up, brushing at her trousers to get rid of the dust, "Come on over. I just finished patching up this torn rag right here."
"A rather handsome torn rag, Lily."
"Keep telling yourself that, James."
Sirius just blinked, open mouthed. 'Shocked' would be a good word to describe himself right now. His black eyes darted in between a smiling James and a weary looking Lily, confused as hell.
"Bloody hell, Evans. Aren't you going to yell at me? Or take points?"
" Not really, as appealing as that sounds..." she stepped forward, "Just come over here."
But Sirius was in a daze," But that's impossible! Prongs, mate, what's going on?!"
James grinned at his best friend boyishly, a light dancing in his eyes," Its just an extraordinary night, Padfoot. Come over here, you puppy. She's harmless. And she knows."
Sirius paled.
And suddenly Lily took a step back as his expression turned very cold. James must've noticed too because he sat up, with some effort. "Sirius? What's –"
"Wrong?" the black haired wizard interrupted in a calm voice, but the anger in it was barely contained. His eyes lost their warmth and felt like bottomless pits all of a sudden. Lily shivered involuntarily at the look of intense betrayal in his eyes. " You want to know what's wrong James?!" He took a step forward, blood boiling in anger. Sirius felt his ears go hot, his face flushed but he didn't care. "You bloody arsehole! How could you do that to him, you unfaithful git?! It wasn't your secret to tell, now was it?!"
He didn't pause to see James eyes grow increasingly cold and detached, or Lily open her mouth to speak.
The boy was breathing heavily, furious at his best friend. He shifted his weight onto his good leg, the fire still alight inside him, "Of all the stupid things you've done for this girl, Prongs, this takes the cake. Just because you're in lo—"
"That's enough."
Lily shivered at James's frosty tone, so unlike the warm one he usually directed at everyone. This was the voice he used to speak to Slytherins, not his friends. Not Sirius. And his eyes were the coldest she'd ever seen them to be, unmistakably hurt beyond belief. The boys stared each other down, one furious, one alarmingly cold. She realized this would turn into a bigger fight if she didn't do something.
"Sirius, listen—"
"Stay out of it, Miss Prefect. This is none of your –"
But Lily's eyes blazed.
"Don't you dare take that tone with me, Black!" she hissed, threateningly, and he fell silent. Lily pushed her hair away from her face furiously," What do you think you're doing going off at other people's throats without even getting your facts straight?!" She crossed her arms as a flicker of doubt crossed his face. " James didn't tell me anything, you big idiot. I figured it out for myself."
"You couldn't have. No one was supposed to—"
" He's a prefect remember?" she hissed again," I took over for him every month when this happened. It was always the same date, always the same battered figure a day later. It didn't take me long. But honestly, I had no idea you boys were sneaking out as well! Now that you can blame Potter for, but he didn't tell me, Sirius." Lily swallowed her anger and forced her voice to go soft for the sake of keeping peace. "You're being a git. Think clearly, please."
" Stop it, Lily."
She frowned, worry creeping into her chest at James's still cold tone. It was layered with hurt, quivered with anger, " You shouldn't have had to justify this to anyone." His eyes never left Sirius's face, "especially not to him."
Sirius lost the colour in his face completely, slowly beginning to realize his mistake, but still struggling with comprehending the fact that he had been wrong. "W-What— How was I supposed to—"
"Goodnight, Evans." James got up, wobbly, and she clutched his sleeve to steady him, watching worriedly, despite herself. " I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the help."
Lily swallowed. She did not like it, this fight. The fact that it was just two boys arguing could've gone through her head, she could've dismissed it. But the intensity of the words and the feelings behind their eyes was what made her stomach do a slow roll.
The Marauders were nothing if not passionate. She realized it now.
Sirius swallowed, his eyes were still partially furious, partly confused and tinged with worry. Lily implored to the boy silently, to apologise, but his pride prevented him from saying anything. And she just lost it.
" You two are absolute morons!" she glared at them, pushing James back into the couch, and stalked over to Sirius and dragged him by the ear. It was only because of his confusion and building fear of a serious falling out with James that he went with her quietly. She shoved him onto the couch as well, ignoring their annoyed, cross looks. Lily placed her hands on her hips and gave them both the Lily glare. The scariest of them all.
Both boys sank back a little.
"Now you listen close," she snarled quietly," I am going to sit here and fix you up, Black and Potter, you're going to stay right where you are. I don't care who does it first, but apologise. If you don't make up by the time I'm finished, you're both in big trouble. Huge trouble. Is that clear?"
Sirius nodded reluctantly while James sent her another glare. She almost snapped at him, because he had a talent for riling her up, but refrained from doing so, thinking that at least someone had to be level headed that night.
Lily got down on the floor and used her wand to tear off the ripped part of the jeans Sirius was wearing. She carefully dropped the Essence of Dittany onto the wound, listening for any changes in the atmosphere. Except for Sirius's sharp gasp of pain, nothing else was heard for a long time.
James continued to maintain his silence, his face stony, she saw when she'd peeked up from time to time. She wished he'd just forgive him and get it all over with already, but she also understood perfectly why he was so wounded. To a group of friends so thick and loyal like the Marauders, a questioning of that sincerity by someone as close to him as Sirius had undoubtedly caused James great pain. However, the said 'Black' haired wizard was beginning to sway.
He cleared his throat. Lily hid a smile.
"Er... Listen mate, Prongs, I um... " he swallowed, his pride probably, "I'm sorry."
"It's alright." James said stiffly, "There, done. Can we go now, Professor McGonagall?"
Lily glared at him, and he glared back. " Stop it, James. He's apologising isn't he? Just let it go already."
" James, mate, I'm sorry, really." Sirius shifted and Lily pulled back hastily to avoid poking him with her wand. He seemed to be on a roll now that the initial awkwardness had worn off. " I didn't know. I mean, can you blame me though, you git, I just didn't get it how she could've known!"
"That doesn't mean you can go ahead and accuse me you dog." James growled, causing Lily to glance up in alarm. "How could you even think— I've never jeopardized the Marauders, ever. Not even for her. Why would this time be any different?!"
"I don't know!" Sirius raised his voice to match his." I just walked in and you two were looking all friendly. And then you told me she knew and I just—"
" Forgot that I was giving myself a break? If you thought I was going to spill stuff like that just for attention or whatever, you obviously got me wrong, Padfoot. I'm not that desperate, you moron. I've always kept the Marauders first. Remember that next time."
Looking immensely relieved the second he called him 'Padfoot', Sirius collapsed back into the couch with a stiff nod. Not everyone could silence Sirius Black. But it looked like James and Lily possessed that uncanny ability.
Trying not to smile too much, she added one last wave of her wand and sat back, exhaustion crashing in, causing her to let out a sigh unknowingly. The boys jumped, startled, as if they'd forgotten her presence, and that was a first for James. He prodded her forehead with a finger.
" Now look who's dead on her feet."
She swatted his hand away and rubbed her eyes, glad they'd stopped fighting, glad the room was warm again, glad that James had gone back to his normal self. She never wanted to see him that cold ever again. It was quite unsettling. "I'm more like dead on my butt. You boys and your drama. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you kissed him Sirius. The vibes are just too much."
"Yes, you'd like to see that wouldn't you, Lily-bean? I always did take you for a gay lover."
She gave him a good slap on his knee and then got up from the ground. Her eyes widened as it fell on the clock. Half past three?!
" Yes, it is. I thought you knew, Evans." James got up as well and Lily realized she'd said the last bit out loud. "I told you to go back ages ago."
Sirius got up too, looking solemn for once, " I guess this is the point where you kiss and bid each other goodnight. Ugh, I don't think I can stand it."
Lily felt a tiny inkling of a blush on her cheeks but James looked unfazed like always, stretching casually as if they didn't have a most eventful night." She only wishes, Padfoot." Then he winked at Lily, " Go to bed already Lily, before I attempt Black's proposition. Run, go on."
"I'll break you bones, Potter. And make sure you never have children."
"Now that," he said with mock surprise and alarm," would be a sin to the world. You don't want to do that, Evans."
"Then keep away, you oaf. " Lily smiled, nevertheless. "And be off now, both of you. Get a little sleep. I suppose you'll leave to go see Remus before breakfast?"
"You wanna come Lily-bean?"
Both James and Lily turned their startled eyes on Sirius, who had stuck his hands in his pockets and looked collected. "Don't give me that look, I was just asking."
Lily laughed nervously, tucking her hair behind her ears," What happened to keeping it a secret?"
"You already know, don't you?" Sirius's face was blank. " Besides, after what you did for us tonight, I think its only fair you're let in Lily-bean. I trust you, despite the way I reacted before. And this git trusts you a little too much," that earned him a kick from James ," and Peter adores you and I know Moony would like it if you visited."
Lily fidgeted under the combined gazes of the two best friends. She did want to see Remus, yes, but she was also afraid to see him in that state. She didn't know how she'd take it. Lily was easily affected by the plight of others, it was a trait she inherited from her father, a trait she hated now in a despair filled era.
"Its okay. "
She looked up and into a pair of hazel eyes, watching her carefully. The understanding written in them startled her.
"You don't have to force yourself or anything. Moony will be back in classes by afternoon. You can talk to him then. Maybe by the next full moon, you can stomach it."
She nodded numbly, surprised at how he had figured it out. Head reeling, she returned the fistbump Sirius bestowed upon her and mumbled a goodnight to James, slowly making her way back to the dorm. She heard the faint sound of James's laughter as she climbed but didn't pause to dwell on it. Lily dragged herself onto bed, hoping to get a few hour's sleep before classes in the morning but her head was buzzing. Out of all the things that had happened tonight, one thing was certain.
She respected those devils. And they returned the sentiment.
Lily closed her eyes and drifted off immediately, forgetting about the meeting with Dumbledore, forgetting about her unfinished reading assignment, forgetting about James Potter and his newfound charm. She focused instead, on the fact that she'd just probably permanently repaired not just two wounds, but also a 5 year old misunderstanding.