A/N: This is for the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Competition for the Edible Dark Marks. Hope you enjoy! One-shot.

Dear Father,

I'm… just a boy. I'm not the man you want me to be.

I will never be the Dark Lord's right hand man. I'm sorry father… I'm really just a loser. I will never be able to kill someone, father.

As much as I try, I will never live up to your expectations. And for that, I'm sorry. I've tried to follow your footsteps the best I could but… I couldn't help but feel… insecure. It didn't feel right.

Draco Malfoy the Death Eater. It sounds so good together but… it just doesn't feel right. Father, please try to understand me.

I'm trying so hard father, it's hard, but I'm trying! To kill people, to watch people get killed and not wince. It hurts father, it really does. I'm trying to become a good person! A good person that follows the Dark Lord.

But it hurts so much, to see people looking at me in disgust. When they sneer at me and talk behind my back… when they laugh at me.

Yeah, because I'm a Death Eater who couldn't even kill someone! How pathetic is that? I try not to break down, I try to stay strong… but sometimes… that's just not possible!

I can't stand it when people laugh at me and jeer at me. Father, do YOU know what its like? Everyone hates you, and you know it. They hate you because of who you are, and… you can't do anything to change it. You've never met anyone who cares for you. You feel like you're in hell. Do you know how that's like?

And I imagine what life would've been like if I wasn't born a Malfoy, if I wasn't a Death Eater. If I was ever loved…

And it's all your fault, father! It's your fault for following the Dark Lord, for not caring about me, for making me suffer so much!

Did you know that I cry sometimes? I know you say it's weak to cry so I shouldn't, but who can help their emotions from flowing out? I cry because I'm ashamed for being the person I am now. I cry because I'm so sorry for all of the terrible things I've said and done. I cry… because I wish I was born as someone else.

And it's all your fault.

I know that it's so selfish to think that way, father. But it's what's always on my mind! I try to stand strong in front of others, to be as emotionless as possible. I don't want anyone to break through my barrier and realize how I'm actually feeling.

I'm so sorry father.

I apologize.

Please forgive me. I write this letter knowing that I will probably never send it. But… hopefully… one day, I will gather the courage to.

In the end, I'm just a weak coward. I understand that father. You were always right in the end. Except for the fact that the Dark Lord was right. Because I realized that it was wrong.

Please understand me.

Thank you for being there for me father.

I… love you.

Draco Malfoy

A/N: So, how was it? I really enjoyed writing this one! :) Once again, this is for the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes Competition for Edible Dark Marks. R&R! :P