This is a story of how I expected the end of Clockwork Prince to go, but am so glad it didn't. Please forgive my tendency to end in cliff-hangers. It's a talent.
Prologue
Tessa P.O.V.
Both of them. Both of the boys I loved are in love with me.
Will and Jem. Jem and Will.
But they cannot both love me, because that means that I have torn them apart, and I won't be responsible for causing that.
I was in my room at the Institute, the only place I can think clearly, other that the Library but I can't go there, for fear of Will. I could go to the music room, to talk with my fiance Jem, but I couldn't do that without thinking of the pain I would be causing myself. I would bear it, but I fear that it would show in my eyes. Jem would never not see it.
So I sit here, with Verlac, and Tennyson, Jane Eyre, and Pride and Prejudice. But I want to read none of them, because I deserve to feel pain, and any form of book will just numb that pain. I remember a week ago, when Will had confessed to me. I had been happy, really happy, for second, but then I had recalled why I couldn't accept his feelings. It had been a week since Sophie had bandaged up my hand with salve, saying "Just don't break his heart miss." It had been close to a week since we had won back the Institute from the crazed clutches of Benedict Lightwood, and Jem and I had announced our engagement.
The Shadowhunters had always called me 'inquisitive", but this week, only two questions were plaguing my mind.
How have I survived the guilt this long?
What will I do to end their pain?
"Miss Tessa?" Sophie entered my room.
"Yes, Sophie?"
"Please come to breakfast. No one has seen you in days, and Mrs. Branwell is worried."
"Oh, of course." I had completely forgotten the need to appear normal. Or at least, not heart broken. "I'll be down in a minute."
"No you won't, your coming with me, right now miss." She quickly grabbed my arm and hauled me to the door.
"But Sophie."
"No, miss. You need proper food, and even if you're in the middle of a book, your going to get it." There was no disputing her stone expression. Besides, I really wasn't in the middle of a book, unless the torn pages of my heart count.
"Oh all right. I'm coming Sophie."
"Good." And she led me down the hall to breakfast.
When we entered, I found Charlotte, Henry, Jem, and Will already seated. The only person missing was Jessamine. But where-oh she had been taken to the Silent City.
My face would have fallen if it weren't for the fact that it had no where else to fall.
"Tessa." Jem greeted me warmly. We had yet to announce the engagement, so that was all he was permitted to do. "How nice to see you, at least, with your nose out of a book."
"Thank you Jem, and I do apologize, I'm in the middle of a delightful story, but I can't explain it at all." I told him as I sat down, across from Will, next to Jem.
"So you're reading Alice in Wonderland again?" Will smirked at me, but his eyes stayed cold.
"Good heavens, no. I told you Will, it's a nonsense story."
"But I said-"
I cut him off. "Yes, I know what you said, but that doesn't change my views."
We stared at each other for a moment, and I knew we were not just arguing about the book, it was something else.
"So, Tessa, what book are you reading?" Charlotte cut the obvious tension.
"Oh, well, Sense and Sensibility." I smiled up the table at her.
"That is a good story. I must say."
"I don't think so." Said Will.
"Why not?" I thought he liked it.
"Because, I couldn't make sense of it!" He laughed.
I immediately caught on to the joke, and tried to laugh with him, but failed miserably.
"Will, where do you come up with all those nutty thoughts?" Jem smiled.
"Where other than from you, my good man." He laughed again.
"Oh, dear. Henry, would you be so kind as too come with me to the drawing room?" Charlotte asked her husband. "Henry? Henry. Henry!"
"Oh, uh yes dear?" He woke up from his bowl.
"Oh, never mind." And she left the dining room.
"What? Oh dear." And he also left, but in the opposite direction.
"Well, there goes that meal." Jem sighed.
I decided that enough was enough. I couldn't be in the same room as these two. Not now, not ever. "Ah well, I have to get back to my book. Jem, Will." I nodded to them, then proceeded to my own room.
"But Tessa!" Jem called out to me.
"Yes?"
"You didn't eat."
"Oh, well, I'm not hungry. Sorry, but I'm needed elsewhere." Away from you, and away from all this torture.
My heart just couldn't take it much longer.
Okay, I know it's really short but I wanted to put the first part on suspense. Plus, this is going to be really emotional and that will be hard for me to write. So the first chapter was just to start the story and let everyone know that Tessa has gotten really messed up. So please forgive me.
But I'm telling you now, to read the other chapters, because it is them the reviews were written for. Sorry for this first chapter, but i have a deadline for it's editing: September 4th. If it's not edited by then, then I have failed in my duty as a writer. And I apologize.
Don't let this bad chapter get you down, and please follow!