FOR THE LOVE OF LAMBDA
PERSONAL log; number 101… Former Freelancer, whatever that means as I was never a damn Freelancer to begin with but… Okay, fine Lamb. I'll stop rambling in the headliner. Fine, I'll do it for real.
Personal log number 101. Former Freelancer Agent Missouri reporting at the behest of the AI designated Lambda.
*Sigh* Moe here. I tried to talk her out of making me record these stupid journal entries. Old habits die hard I suppose. I mean she was only in the Director's presence for a few minutes before she was callously, cruelly thrown into the fucking Faulty Equipment bin like yesterday's garbage, but she still picked up the Director's need to keep notes. Thrown away like common trash.
It makes my head spin. I mean here you have a harvested component of compartmentalized emotion and the Director wants nothing to do with it. It seriously pisses me off whenever I think about it. Especially with the way I feel about her now.
[Be careful this doesn't start to sound like a diary, Moe. *An electronic giggle sounds*]
I have to smile at that. Okay, I'll be professional for the love of God. *Chuckles*
From what Lambda shares with me, the Director had no use for her. She was one of the last copies of Alpha the Director made and she was the last AI that was functional on any level and even she was fractured. Fractured, not broken. The broken ones… God they weren't pretty.
The noise was what I remembered the most about those that were broken. All tossed into the dime bin. The hissing, the shrieking as if I were listening through an intercom as a live human were being tortured. God, the screaming.
'Why?! Why would you do this to me daddy?! The horrible pain! Make it stop! Didn't we… Didn't we please you daddy?!'
Those sounds will haunt me until I die. Nobody should have to be put through that misery. Just because it isn't a full person it's okay? Damn… I will never forgive him for that. Carolina… was able to forgive in the end. She let it go. But damned if I ever will… *Muffled sounds of sadness linger for a few minutes*
Anyway, she was fractured. Meaning that while she wasn't a babbling, screaming mess; she was completely incapable of assisting on the battlefield. She wasn't analysis, rage, deceit, creativity, or shyness. She was love. She was eroticism. The two are interchangeable and completely related. As Lambda told me specifically, love and eroticism are the flip sides of the same coin, and therefore she is both.
The director decreed that since she was incapable of serving on the battlefield in any manner that she was completely worthless and tossed her storage container into the faulty bin.
I bought her for two-hundred credits. Two-hundred! It's an outrage! Not that it was expensive… Shit! The Director sold her cheap. It's an insult!
How did I find her? I overheard New York and North Dakota talking about it. Well, not talking about it because they didn't care either way. Which I don't fault them for. They had theirs and they weren't there when she was harvested. Neither was I, but a friend of mine, an engineer, happened to be. She didn't sugarcoat it. That was the first time I heard the name Lambda. York and Dakota's conversation – more of a passing mention – was the second time. Apparently her memory unit was tucked away in the garbage bin on C-34. I plucked her out myself and went to the Director and offered to buy her.
The Director knew I was basically worthless, cannon fodder. Only reason I wasn't assigned to Blood Gulch was because I am actually over-average in a fire fight. I trained well. I don't recall ever being placed on the leader board… not ever, but I knew my training well and could repair any of their weapons.
My main talent lay in the field of diplomacy and negotiations. Not to say I was a pacifist. I knew a field medic who was and that just turned me off. Not my fault I don't appreciate war. There are more uses for men and women than simply blowing their enemies off the face of the planet.
When I found Lambda, it was during one of my extremely few visits to the massive command ship. I spent most of my time planet side on Earth or Sanghelios or Chorus, before the UNSC decided it was better if they just forgot about that planet. God, I am surrounded by people who were forgotten, myself being one of them.
I spoke to heads of state on the Director's behalf. To my shame, I was the one who had obtained the rights for the Director to get the equipment he needed for his sick experiments, as well as the plethora of bases that he needed to conduct his experiments. It was me and I have never hidden my self-loathing from Lambda.
[You never knew the dangers. How could you have known what the Director was up to?]
I know, Lamb. I know. It's just hard to let go. That I was the one who acquired everything for him.
Ironically, that is how I was able to broker the deal for Lambda in the first place. Basically a PR guy in power armor who had never had a spot on the leader board… Gaining an AI should have been impossible. But I was able to negotiate her leverage not just out of my peacenik leanings, but because I was basically the reason the Director was there. I was the one who had acquired these things and therefore, since the Director believed Lambda to be completely useless in military applications and because he saw me as being completely useless as well, the deal was easy.
He offered two-hundred. The look on my face went unnoticed beneath my visor. I handed him my card and he withdrew the insulting price and sent me back to Earth in the same breath. He turned back to his experiments without a second glance at me or the unit in my hands, stained with grease and spaghetti sauce.
I turned and left without looking back.
That was when I started thinking AWOL. I had always distasted the Director, but I hadn't hated him until that moment. Lambda was implanted in my head and I instantly liked her. I guess I was quicker to adjust to having a second mind. But mostly it was her.
Where do I begin in describing Lambda? Her image is stunning. Pink light formed into the body of a goddess. Her visage is nude… only I know this because she clothes herself in light of the faintest pink, the pink of her body darker than that of her clothes. Sometimes as she gestures as she speaks, an arm is visible. Sometimes as I gaze at her I can catch a glimpse of a fair foot. Her long, straight pink hair dangles provocatively over one of her bright green eyes. The color of her orbs are unnatural if I can use such a word to describe such a lustrous and beautiful creation. Rather than earthly green, these eyes are bright green, bringing to mind a visual of a Christmas bulb. And large. Anime could describe them, but they take up most of her small face.
[You're making me blush, Moe. I told you not to make this a diary. *Giggles* Where is your professional protocol while creating journal entries?]
I can't help it, Lamb. Describing you using mundane, dull, professional words would only discredit you and I refuse to do that. And besides when is the last time the two of us have been… professional?
[*Embarrassed silence* That is an excellent point Moe.]
You may ask how she could possibly be a woman, whoever finds this journal. All of Alpha's fragments have been male except for Rho and Lambda. Every one of them has been male. Well, knowing Rho is compassion and Lambda is love it's easy to speculate, but I won't keep ya in suspense.
The Director is known for many attributes. Greed, arrogance and pride being top among them. But he was never known by his subordinates for emotion. Emotion was thick under the veil of darkness that he surrounded himself with. But it was buried so deep that nobody but himself knew it even existed, let alone was prevalent for Allison.
As haughty as the man truly was, it is no secret that he believed love and compassion to be very uncomely for a man. Men don't cry… and he believed that to a T. He christened such compassion and love as being so weak and unmanly and feminine that those traits in the AI's he harvested took on female attributes. Mind set, speech patterns and forms for Rho and Lambda are completely female. Because he was so obsessed with love and compassion being such female concepts, those traits took on female qualities. Not such a mystery I am afraid.
So here we are. This journal, although long, brings us to present day. We are here in Valhalla. It isn't quite the asshole of the galaxy, as Blood Gulch has already claimed that title. Hell, at least there's water here. But if Blood Gulch is the asshole, then Valhalla's the dick. A little more importance, but just as unsightly and hidden.
We are on the run. Low on ammo and supplies and hope. The UNSC, while officially calling off all search protocols for the two of us after our initial escape from the Director, has started at least speaking about it. We have run into several low-level UNSC ODST troopers and had to fight our way off Earth. I am on the run from my own home because the leaders of the UNSC suddenly want the rogue agent and the "unfit" AI back to "round out their numbers". It's all figures to them. They don't give two shits about the two of us personally but we are among the last three remnants of the Project Freelancer saga and so they want us. For numbers. In a logbook somewhere. Fucking typical. We're not dangerous but we look bad.
Fucking UNSC. I can't believe this. I used to be a patriot. But now they want our blood because we're a blight in their books. Well damn it if I'm not the quickest Benedict Arnold in UNSC history. Let them find us. We will fight and we will gain our independence. Actual, no holds barred independence.
My Destiny
By Demon Hunter
I cast my heart unto the beast
Unto my sin
I would never find my faith in this belief unseen again
The solitude of youth
My conscience wearing thin
I will suffer my infliction as a desecrated man
But the fear, the blood, the sweat and sound
They brought me here to wait for the will to appear
We are blinded by the sacred light
They carried us away
Like a razor through the dark that night
My destiny
Now the weight of living word
Come calling true
And my heart will drink the blood of death my soul forever knew
On the reverence of a voice
My clarity of you
The queen of whom I never knew has run my spirit through
We will carry that flame
The power is in our name
We will carry that flame
BBBBBBBB
Agent Missouri, or Moe for short, stood gawking at the towering monuments that served as the Red and Blue teams' bases.
Valhalla. The place made the most sense for the Reds and Blues to return to and call home for themselves after the events of Chorus. They were free. It was a feeling that Moe envied.
"Congratulations, Moe. Another great journal entry. And this time you only managed to wax poetic about me for one minute and thirty seconds." Lambda jabbed at the man she called her love.
"I won't apologize for what I didn't apologize for the first time." Moe remarked with a shrug of his high peaked shoulder guards.
Moe had never had the best of equipment. He had been at the lowest spot on the leader board. He was number fifty. Hell, even agent Utah was above him. The idiot who nearly killed himself misusing a bubble shield. It was only by one position, but damn it stung to know that.
Moe had mastered using his Battle Rifle, but his Mark six armor was constantly in need of repair. It was a good thing he had friends in the engineer section of the Mother of Invention who were happy to teach him everything he knew. Moe could repair his armor blindfolded and had done so on several occasions in order to sharpen his already amazing reflexes.
Other than the basic rifle and armor, he had nothing special about him equipment wise. He had no special built in armor functions. He had originally had no AI, although he was blessed with a single slot for one of the pieces of compartmentalized emotion. He was that lucky.
Moe's armor was mainly gold in hue with stripes of dark purple adorning his helmet and shoulder guards. There were thinner lines of purple accenting his kneepads and boots, but other than that his armor was distinctly gold.
Lambda appeared before Moe and she grinned at him. Moe grinned back and she knew. She was in his head. She knew his emotions better than he did at times.
"You really do know how to make a girl feel special." Lambda continued,
"You liberated me. Risked your life running away with me. Faced danger fleeing the UNSC, your own government, for me. It is all very chaotic and romantic."
"Yeah, well, chaotic and romantic is how I always get things done. Did you see how I negotiated with those Sangheli to step down and release their hostages last month?" Moe said, quirking an eyebrow flirtatiously.
"Did I see it? I memorized every detail. I do love to watch you at work." Lambda purred.
"You know how every Freelancer was paired with their AIs based on their personality in regard to the AI's personality?" Moe ventured.
"Of course." Lambda said.
"I think that even though the Director wanted no part of you, I think you ended up with the right man anyway. Personalities dictate how each Freelancer gets along with their AI. We are compatible." Moe explained.
"Like a dating site profile?" Lambda giggled.
"Not necessarily. Some of those things are filthy. Definitely not you." Moe said, sounding thoroughly disgusted.
Lambda giggled again, shaking her head. Her pink hair flowed along with her motions as she laughed.
"Don't worry Moe. I know what you mean. You complete me."
A blush crept across Lambda's face, her glowing green eyes looking more toward the ground.
"And you complete me." Moe answered.
It had become their version of 'I love you' and both of them knew that that was exactly what the words meant.
Lambda blushed further, a smile forming on her lips as she studied the green grass beneath her floating form.
"You know, for the embodiment of love you always have had a hard time looking me in the eye when you say that." Moe said, a mirthful smile crossing his lips.
"It's not what you think," Lambda scrambled to explain, "It's just that when we say that to one another it is the fulfillment of something I never would have expected. The love and joy in my heart redline and it's hard for me to maintain eye contact. I mean, who has ever heard of a man falling in love with an AI?"
"A very compassionate and loving man falling in love with the embodiment of love? Who would have thought?" Moe teased.
Lambda chuckled.
"When you put it like that, I suppose it isn't as weird as it seems." She remarked.
"Anyway, the UNSC is after us and we need supplies. I'm getting hungry and I would like to plug you into a power hub soon. You feeling okay?" Moe asked, worried suddenly as if he forgot about the unique quality of Lambda.
"I am fine. And will be for a couple of hours." Lambda chided, "Just because I am fractured and lose energy twice as fast as any other AI doesn't mean my life is measured in mere minutes. We have drilled this since day one of our existence together: My power range is eight hours verses the sixteen hours of my brothers. I am fine but yes, we should at least find a power source."
"Of course. I know we have drilled that since we met. I'm sorry. I just get worried about you." Moe said.
"You're sorry for worrying about me?" Lambda smirked.
She crossed her arms, barely visible beneath the bright pink light emanating from her body.
"Now, that's a lie if I ever heard one."
BBBBBBB
"God dammit, Grif! I told you to clean the barracks!" Sarge shouted at the universe's laziest soldier.
"I did!" Grif groaned, crossing his arms.
"No you didn't. You just piled all that crap on Donut's bunk and said that you did!"
"Your exact words were 'Grif, if I see any of that crap on the floor I will gut you and use your ribcage as a punch bowl for next New Years.' To which I said, 'Gross… but fine'. And as you can see, none of that aforementioned crap is on the floor… It's all on Donut's bunk."
"Just because he told you not to leave any of it on the floor doesn't mean that you actually cleaned anything." Simmons mentioned with a shake of his head.
"Sarge didn't say anything about cleaning anything or I would have found another way around it. He said not to leave anything on the floor and I didn't. Another flawless execution of one of Sarge's stupid plans." Grif said proudly.
"Grif, why I oughta…" Sarge grumbled.
"Sorry, I meant one of Sarge's incredibly wonderful stupid plans."
"That's better!" Sarge shouted.
"Uh, guys?" Donut called from the top of the base. Guard duty always sucked but at least there was more to see in Valhalla.
In Blood Gulch there was nothing but dirt, rock and grass. In Valhalla there was dirt, rock, grass and water.
"What do you want Donut? Can't you see I am in the middle of something important? I'm screaming at Grif for being worthless and being congratulated on my awesome, incredible and absolutely not-stupid plans!" Sarge shouted.
"Grif didn't congratulate you! He just made it seem that way! He was still saying your plans were stupid." Simmons shouted incredulously, his high pitched complaint going completely unnoticed by the man dressed in red before him.
"Sure, but it's the way he said it. Right Simmons?" Sarge questioned.
"Whatever you say, sir." Simmons reluctantly sighed.
"That's what I thought!" Sarge yelled.
"Yeah, for a senile, uptight and useless old man, you are a hell of a leader." Grif said, hardly containing his laughter.
Sarge sighed.
"Grif, just because you keep complimenting me doesn't mean we're having a moment. It just means that after years of being a lazy, useless bullet magnet you're starting to realize how great I really am. You're still number fourteen around here though."
"That… makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, Sarge. But you presented it so well that I could hardly understand how fucking brain-dead the thought actually was."
"So you don't want to hear about the guy who's out here asking about the base?" Donut ventured.
"Ah, hell Donut. Another person outside? Nobody's visited this place since we blew the Freelancer Project to kingdom come and I blasted the Director in the face with my trusty shotgun. Blamo!" Sarge yelled.
"Your victory was truly an inspiration for us all, sir!" Simmons announced, rubbing the old man's ego as he had always done.
"Thank you Simmons. It seems we're all running on all cylinders today. Even Grif." Sarge said proudly.
Sarge loaded his shotgun and jogged to the outside of the base through one of the gigantic entrances in the side of the massive wall.
"Beat you to that one, dip shit." Simmons boasted, turning his visor to face the orange armored soldier beside him.
"Hmm? I wasn't listening. Was Sarge declaring a completely bogus claim of having vanquished some enemy that doesn't exist, or giving us totally bullshit orders that we have no way of carrying out?" Grif asked the man in maroon armor sarcastically.
"No Grif. God damn it, never mind!" Simmons shouted, voicing his annoyance before running outside.
"But I'm really interested though! Oh, wait! Maybe he was giving one of his lame ass "morale building" speeches about how stupid and worthless everyone is! That would be devastating to miss!" Grif shouted after his partner in crime before walking – very slowly – outside of the base to join his forced acquaintances.
A/N: Aaaaand bada bing bada boom, or however you spell that. We have chapter one of For the Love of Lambda. I had fun writing this and the ideas came pouring into my head like the voice of an AI for a month now. Been writing 'em all down and I will put them onto electronic paper as I get them.
I wanted to do this as a diversion to the Adventures of Kazdin Willow. Editing War Never Changes had been working like a charm as an easier writing method so I can take a break from Kaz. Writer's block sucks total ass. I am not done with Kazdin's story, but I am taking a long hiatus from it. Gonna work on War Never Changes and be writing this story here as I get ideas for it.
The lyrics I put up at the top of this chapter are slightly tweaked by me. The original lyrics for a part of it were "The king of whom I never was has run my spirit through" but I changed it slightly using the words Queen and Knew in order to make it fit better in reference to Lambda.
Finally, I have to tell you that I do not own the character of Rho, the AI I mentioned in the beginning journal entry. That is the creation of Jaden Silver who wrote the story Chemical Imbalance. It was/is awesome and I loved it. I merely wanted to mention Rho's name as Jaden had given it the attribute of compassion and made Rho female. I am making Lambda female and I had to give a reason for Lambda being a girl while all the others were boys. What better way than to show that the Director saw Love as a female emotion? (That particular reason for Lambda being who she is was actually MY idea haha) So that's all I was trying to do there. Rho is not mine, she is Jaden Silver's.