When Ed woke up, the first thing he realized was that he was still dreaming. He had to be dreaming. The place he was in resembled nowhere in Amestris. In fact, he couldn't possibly have been in Amestris, the country having no fleet. And judging by the small rocking sensation the floor was producing on Edward, his actual detention location was situated in a boat. Thus, logically, he had to be dreaming.

But then, what a weird dream this was! He was lying on the back on a small, dirty straw mattress. The room was very dark and he was hard put to even distinguish its walls. He let his hand wander onto the floor next to him. As he'd expected, it was made of wood. Rotten wooden planks to be exact. Evidently, the ship was due to destruction more or less... three years previously. The thought made Ed shiver. Waking up on a wrecked vessel wasn't exactly his idea of a good morning.

"Wake up!"

Edward jumped a feet into the air, startled by the voice, before turning towards it and jumping back, yelling in fright. The man – or thing – that was standing over him was the most bizarre sight he'd ever seen. He was tall and bald, one of his eyes covered by a patch like the ones pirate wore in children's books. This gave him an intimidating look, all right, but that was not what had scared the hell out of the alchemist. The weirdest detail of all was his skin. It had a strange purplish taint, a bit like that of an olive. Come to think of it, thought Edward, he actually looks like and overgrown olive! Heeeelp!!

Ed scrambled backward until his back was to the wall and got up shakily.

"Er... What the hell are you? Are you some kind of olive or something?" His eyes widened at the thought. "I swear I'll never eat vegetables again!"

The olive-man laughed at him harshly.

"Of course not! I'm a Dunmer... A Dark Elf" he added, seeing that the name meant nothing to Edward. "And we've just arrived. The guards should be here any minute."

"Arrived?" Ed spluttered, "Arrived where? Where in the name of my left sock are we?" He burst out.

"On the island of Vvardenfell, and there's no need to be rude!" Answered the mutant olive indignantly. Seeing that Ed had no idea of what he meant, he added "In the kingdom of Morrowind... In the Cyrodilic Empire! Oh come on," he snapped, exasperated, "every single land in a radius of ten thousand leagues is part of the Empire! Wake up boy!"

Upon these words, all fear seemed to drain out of Edward's mind. The word "boy" had caught in his throat, as always, and anger flooded in him, covering all else.

"I AM NOT SMALL!" He bellowed, clapping his hands together to make the walls into giant fists that would beat the Dunmer senseless.

Nothing happened.

Ed's jaw dropped. What the hell was going on in this mad place? Why did his alchemy suddenly refuse to work? He caught sight of the Dark Elf laughing at the expression on his face. Well, he thought, I've still got my fists haven't I? A wicked smile appeared on his face.

The Dunmer was blown into the wall by the force of the blow Edward had landed into his chest. He hit the wooden planks with a crash and slid to the floor, unconscious. Sneering at him, his aggressor bent down upon him to land another blow but a voice cut across him once again.

"What is going on in here? Can't you scum be quiet for an hour or two?"

The eldest Elric brother swiveled to take a look at the new intruder. He at once realized that this must be the "guard" olive-man had been speaking about. A wave of relief swept over him when he saw that the man had a normal taint of skin. At least that was normal! The relief quickly faded when the guard spoke again, glowering at him.

"Get out of here and follow me convict. Someone's awaiting you..."

He didn't have time to finish his sentence for the "convict"'s foot lashed out and caught him in the jaw. He toppled to the ground with a great crack, his jaw evidently broken. At once, Edward jumped over him and ran for the door the guard had opened when he'd entered. He'd just reached the entrance when a sting in his back made him stand still. He turned his head slowly backward and saw the guard standing behind him, a trickle of blood on his chin and pointing a curved sword at his back.

"Right." The guard panted, "You wan to play it nasty? Then we'll play it nasty!"

Edward felt a sudden and burning pain on his left hip. He glanced down and saw that the man was holding a small dagger in his left hand and had used it to trace a scarlet line through his shirt, across his skin. He'd only just had time to realize what had just happened when the man stabbed him again lightly, this time between the shoulder blades. Ed understood that the only way to avoid being scarred all over was to get moving, so he started walking slowly out of the cell and into the following room. There, he climbed a fleet of stairs and ended up in front of a trap hole. He looked at the guard who nodded, and pushed the trap open.

* *