In Finn and Poe's desperate attempt to end Rey's force bond with Kylo Ren, they accidentally send her end of it to two unsuspecting victims: themselves. Awkward bro moments ensue. Takes place after TLJ. Just a whole bunch of crack humor and some Reylo feels.
It's been awhile since I wrote any fanfiction! I hope you enjoy this random storyline and find a good laugh or two. I'm no Star Wars expert and I'm a bit rusty so I do apologize in advance!
I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters.
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Kylo should have been a somewhat content man. He killed Snoke. He was the new Supreme Leader. Luke would no longer be a threat—
"Please don't come back as a force ghost…" He instantly whispered, remembering how the Force works in mysterious and annoying ways. The last thing he wanted was his former teacher to pop up at a meeting imitating a certain little green Jedi Master.
"Monthly performance reviews and smiley stickers for staff morale most helpful!" He imagined Luke interjecting between weapons stats and planet surveys. A part of Kylo secretly missed his uncle's old humor.
Kriff. He knew these long buried sentimental feelings had only recently surfaced due to one person.
"Scavenger." He said more loudly than he intended to as the meeting he was completely oblivious to stalled for a few seconds at his sudden remark.
Smiley stickers weren't looking like such a bad idea anymore…
oooo
Rey would not turn. At least she assured herself silently in the mess hall. The memory of the last time she saw Kylo through the force bond made her sadness deepen, a sadness she had been carrying for a while since the events at Crait. The look in his eyes was something she had a hard time forgetting even after two months. They had silently shared a knowing glance, both individuals aware that they had the chosen the paths to be enemies.
She was grateful the bond never opened enough for her to see the new Supreme Leader during these past months but feelings seeped through more often than she liked.
Rage… Frustration… Hopelessness… Disappointment…
Along with Rey's own pent up sadness, dealing with Kylo's constant stream of negativity was weighing her down greatly. She still had yet to repair the broken light saber and learning the ways of the force seemed more difficult than ever knowing she could never turn to Luke again for guidance. While she studiously read through portions of the Jedi texts each night, she had yet to read anything on force ghosts apparently. Maybe that part was just meant to be a surprise.
"Rey?"
Finn was standing next to her with a look of concern. He had called her name from the mess hall entrance at least five times. Rey's food remained untouched for the past fifteen minutes. Poe has been talking to her across the mess hall table for twenty and Finn was 100% certain she didn't hear a wink about Poe's run-in with some "strange" species called Klingons.
"F-Finn? I'm sorry… I must have been spacing out." Rey looked up and gave a small smile at her friend.
"Seriously?! Then you totally missed the part where I was almost bitten by a Klingon woman!" Poe sighed and looked at Finn with a pout.
"Sorry, Poe, but the General and Rose were looking for Rey." He sat himself down next to the rebel fighter pilot and helped himself to a spoonful of mush from Poe's tray, much to the pilot's contempt.
"I'm sorry, Poe. You can tell me more about these Klingon people later." Rey smiled once more at both of her friends and passed her tray of food to Finn before leaving the mess hall. But they weren't fooled.
"She hasn't been herself." Finn confided. "I know it's that bond…"
"The force bond? The one with that emo princess?" Poe chuckled trying to make Finn laugh. Secretly each of these little remarks against Kylo was his own way of payback for the painful interrogation he had to endure. "Rey said that was Snoke's doing. He'd good and dead, remember?"
"But she told me," Finn leaned in closer to make sure no one could hear. "She saw him before we escaped from Crait. And I've seen her mumbling to herself. Sometimes it looks like she's fighting to keep her head from splitting in two…"
There was a genuine look of concern in Finn's eyes and Poe knew this was serious.
"What about those Jedi books she told us about? Isn't there any spell she can use to get rid of it?"
"This isn't Hogwarts, Poe!" Finn said sternly. "And… and there are Jedi things even Jedi don't know about!"
"The hell is a Hogwarts?" So much for staying serious.
"Poe! We have to help Rey!"
"Listen, I think the only way to help her is if we take a look at some of those old books with her. I know she's been reading as much as she can every night but three pairs of eyes are better than one!"
"I actually agree with you..." Finn admitted. "The thing is I asked Rey if she wanted me to help her with the books but I could see she was uncertain… she wants the help, especially with Luke Skywalker gone, but those books are sacred to the Jedi-"
"And we're not Jedi." Poe said monotonously.
The two of them just sat there feeling helpless until they heard Rose frantically calling them.
"F-Finn! Poe! It's Rey!" Her eyes were wide with urgency. "She's dying!"
Oooo
Kylo kept thinking how he could have let that happen. Staff morale was definitely at an all-time low if there were assassination attempts on the Supreme Leader. One minute he was submerging his body into an ice bath after rigorous training exercises and the next his whole head was pushed under the water by several pairs of hands.
Five minutes passed and he was now sitting against the side of the tub panting and shivering. Eight bodies were strewn lifeless around the room. His wet black hair was plastered against his face. He was caught off guard and even resorted to fighting blindly as the water and wet hair stung his eyes for some time during the fight. He was still in a bit of shock; how could he have let that happen?
Without a doubt, more attempts would be made on his life.
Oooo
Poe and Finn sat quietly with Rose. The three of them kept watch nearby as General Organa held the sleeping Rey's hand in the medical bay.
"I'll see if the general needs anything." Rose whispered. Poe nodded and Finn gently squeezed the caring hand of Rose before letting her go. She held Finn's hand the whole time while Poe, Leia, and a medical droid tended to Rey.
Everyone was thankful that Rey now rested as peacefully as possible after that alarming seizure. But it wasn't really a seizure as she had struggled to breath for more than thirty seconds. Her hands seemed to immediately flail towards the top of her head. It was completely out of the blue and no one knew how to help her as those agonizing seconds passed.
Some moment of silence passed before Finn stood up and headed out the door. A look of determination was on his face as he headed towards Rey's sleeping quarters.
"Okay, you took the dusty thick looking ones and I'll take the ones with all the pictures."
Finn looked to his side and smiled with hope as Poe had the same look of determination. He had followed him knowing that they had to do everything possible to help their friend. His light humor was his way of saying they were a team.
At the door to Rey's quarters, they both stopped to rethink their idea one last time.
"She might be mad when she finds out." Poe said breaking the silence.
"Or she'll thank us later." Finn stepped in reassuring the pilot.
Rey's sleeping quarters were kept rather tidy. She was secretly grateful for having a place to sleep where gusts of sand didn't constantly seep through cracks. The sheets on her cot were neatly folded. A trunk sat at the end of the cot, assumedly clothing items and such were inside so they silently agreed to look in there last. Both of their eyes fell on a set of drawers so they both stepped in that direction.
"T-The force! It's showing us where the books are!" Poe declared with excitement.
"I'm pretty sure it's not—"
Poe opened the first drawer and there they were, slumped but neatly arranged inside.
Poe grinned at his friend but Finn just rolled his eyes.
"Well… we better get started." And with that Finn handed the dustiest, thickest book to Poe whose grin turned into a pout.
Oooo
"How many pairs of pants would mom usually pack for me?" Kylo asked himself as he tried closing the small traveling sack. He cringed realizing these sentimental thoughts were not letting up anytime soon.
Then he turned his attention to his actions: was he really planning on leaving the First Order?
No, he assured himself. He was just going to stash this into the Supreme Leader's (formerly Snoke's) personal escape pod. Kylo reminisced on how Snoke made it clear that absolutely no one but the Supreme Leader was allowed to use that one escape pod, even if it was the only one left. He grinned knowing that monster didn't live to see another day (or ever have the chance to use that oh-so-special escape pod).
Wait, so what was he doing again? Oh, yes, he was preparing some items for his emergency escape plan in case the whole crew turns against him.
Kylo slumped down on the bed with his head in his hands.
He missed Rey.
Oooo
"Fart ghosts…"
"Fart ghosts? How did you come up with that? It clearly says 'Force Ghosts.'" Finn corrected the yawning pilot.
It had been almost three hours and they were not even a quarter way through the collection of texts. Finn yawned next as Poe rubbed his straining eyes.
"This is not good for a pilot's eyes." Poe said with his forehead in his hand, his elbow steadying it against the edge of the bed. They both sat on the floor, their legs fell asleep after an hour until they adjusted their positions which made their bottoms sore the next hour.
Finn's eyes seemed to be playing tricks on his mind too. He couldn't read this next page. It took him a few seconds to realize that the elaborate handwritten text was not in a language he was familiar with.
"Look at this…" Finn placed the open book on the bed for Poe to see.
That same page also had a circular pentagram, almost like a very ornate ying-yang sign. The white side of the pentagram was, to their disbelief, glowing and its decorative swirls were moving. It was hypnotizing in a way.
"I think this is it…" Poe gulped nervously. "Okay…what's the spell?"
"Poe, I don't think that's how it works. But hear me out…"
He pulled out another book he had been leafing through earlier that talked about the force in everyone and how the force can be dangerous if used in a very emotional state of mind. After explaining for a couple of minutes to Poe, he eagerly waited for his friend's feedback.
"So… what's the spell?" Poe could only reply.
Finn sighed and tried to explain his theory in one sentence.
"With our determination and love for our friend, we can just ask the Force to separate Rey from the bond with Kylo Ren."
Poe stared at him as if he had ten heads.
"It can't be that easy!" He was finally letting his exhaustion get to him. "We can't just say 'LEAVE REY ALONE WITH THIS FORCE BOND SHIT ATTACHED TO THAT EGOTISTICAL PRINCESS' and expect it to work!"
"No, I'm saying we should somehow express to the force something like… 'Severe Rey from this bond to Kylo Ren to save her life' or I don't know!" Finn's hands flew up in exasperation.
Not even a second passed by before a sudden white light blinded them. Their first thought was to panic as they rubbed their eyes, hoping to rub out the darkness that consumed them.
"Finn! FINN!" Poe could hear the terror in his own voice.
"Poe! I'm right here!" Finn stretched his hand towards the sound of Poe's voice. A wave of calm swept over him as his eyesight restored gradually as the seconds ticked by. When his sight was almost back to normal (perfect even?) he saw the relieved smile on Poe's face and their hands gripped in comfort and assurance.
They took a few seconds to make sure they were both okay until they both darted for the door.
"REY! REY! REY!" They both yelled.
The general and Rose heard them coming, their running sounding like a stampede of Banthas. They both struggled for a second to fit through the doorway to the medical bay at the same time.
"Finn! Poe! You're making quite the ruckus!" The general stood up. "You should let Rey rest here in Medical Bay…quietly."
"But did anything happen? While we were gone?" Poe questioned as Finn edged closer to examine Rey's sleeping face.
"N-No, not since you guys left." Rose answered worried that maybe something was wrong and should be aware of. "We have been watching Rey here sleeping."
Oooo
"Something is different…" Kylo immediately thought.
He had been sleeping when he suddenly sat up in bed, unsure of what woke him. It was like the air around him felt different. It was like the hum in the air changed its frequency. His mind no longer wanted rest as it seemed to be frantically searching for something. The hairs on his exposed skin stood up on high alert. Something wasn't just different, something was wrong.
Was it another assassination attempt? No…
"Rey…"
Oooo
"Did you hear something?" Finn asked as Poe was chewing on a sandwich.
"Nrgh di ju?" Poe replied trying to take another bite before even finishing his first one.
They were both in Finn's sleeping quarters trying to figure out what happened to them in Rey's. They left a confused Rose and General Organa with the sleeping Rey in Medical Bay.
"Maybe we're Jedi now!" Poe finally swallowed the chunks of food in his mouth and leaped off Finn's bed. He stretched his hand towards Finn's cup, his eyes narrowing at the supposedly offending object.
"We're not Jedi and leave my cup alone!" Finn paced the room, trying to remember the sequence of events before the blinding white light. "So we each said something about ending the bond between Rey and Kylo Ren, right? Damn, I was sure my theory was just a theory. I didn't expect it to even do anything, honestly… but Rey doesn't seem any different from when we left her."
"Well some time did pass after we each said our 'spells,'" This made Finn shoot a look at Poe. "I think we did something afterwards."
"The book! It wasn't glowing or moving anymore after the white flash!" Finn rubbed his chin trying to remember. "My hand…well my fingers. I think I touched the book afterwards and I think your hand was touching it too."
"Yes! I think it's specifically that page!" Poe replied. "So…what exactly did it—"
"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO."
Poe and Finn looked towards the doorway to Finn's fresher and there was a mad, seething Kylo Ren.