Author's Note: I have been wanting to write a fic featuring the Uchiha brothers ever since I just about bawled my eyes out when I read Itachi's death. DAMN YOU KISHIMOTO, YOU EVIL GENIUS. -sob-
A couple points: I listened to Mazzy Star's "Into Dust" the entire time I wrote this. On repeat. It is an amazing song, and I would recommend maybe listening to it while you read if you want the full effect. Just a suggestion in case you're interested!
Also, if you notice the writing style changing periodically throughout the story, it's because it's from Sasuke's POV and he is getting older.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, as do some of the lines borrowed for this fic. Lyrics copyright Mazzy Star.
- - -
Into Dust
Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Beside me today
"What is it, Sasuke?"
Itachi's voice was soft and kind, but I froze in the doorway anyway, clutching my teddy to my chest.
"I – I can't sleep."
I saw him rise gracefully into a sitting position, silhouetted against the moonlight. He beckoned for me to come closer; I obeyed at once. My bare feet felt cold against the wood floor. He took my hand and gently tugged me into his lap. I smiled and snuggled close to his chest, still holding my bear close.
"Did you have a bad dream?" he asked. I could feel his voice rumbling deep in his chest.
"No."
"Have you slept at all?" Itachi curled an arm around me, like he was protecting me from something in the dark. I liked it.
"No."
"Sasuke…" His voice was disapproving, concerned.
"I'm worried," I said quietly. I felt him tense slightly; his arm tightened around me, but he said nothing. I continued, lowering one of my hands to grip his. "You have a mission tomorrow. I don't want you to go."
"I have to, Sasuke."
"No you don't." I could feel myself getting upset. I turned farther into his embrace, burying my face in his dark shirt. "They can send someone else," I said, my voice muffled by fabric. Itachi sighed and lifted my face to meet his. I could feel tears bubble up in my eyes when I looked up at him. Itachi was my big brother. He should stay with me.
"Go to sleep," he murmured, lowering his lips to my forehead. I shook my head stubbornly.
"No. In the morning you'll be gone." He sighed again and rested his forehead against mine, meeting my eyes directly. I blinked at him wetly.
"I swear I won't leave without seeing you first," he said with a slight smile. "Now will you please sleep? You're going to be tired tomorrow." I thought about protesting again, but then I yawned. Stupid yawn. Itachi's smile widened and he laid back, gently pulling me down with him.
"Sleep, Sasuke."
His arm was still around me. I rested my head on his chest, clutching my bear tightly, and closed my eyes. I could hear his heart, and it slowly lulled me to sleep.
In the morning I woke to sunlight and cold. I shivered. Why was I so cold? Then I opened my eyes and realized.
Itachi was gone.
I bolted up, disturbing the blankets that had been carefully tucked around me, and ran for the door, shrieking his name at the top of my lungs. Father met me at the door, wearing a stern look, but I only glanced at him for a moment before my eyes focused on the black and silver-clad figure behind him.
Itachi smiled at me, his hands caught in the act of tying back his long hair.
"Good morning, Sasuke."
I was about to run to him when Father grabbed my arm. I glared up at him but he only addressed Itachi.
"You should go. You will be late as it is," he said sharply. Itachi nodded and smiled at me, then turned to leave.
I couldn't just watch him go. I wrenched myself out of Father's grip and ran after him, throwing my arms around his waist. His hair tickled my face, but I didn't care.
"Sasuke…"
"Just promise you'll come back," I said into his back. I could almost see his smile as he answered.
"I promise."
Around broken in two
Till your eyes shed
Into dust
Something was changing.
"Please, nii-sama! Just this once!"
"Maybe another time, Sasuke."
Every time was another time. And every time it was no.
Like two strangers
Turning into dust
Till my hand shook with the way I fear
It was dark, still early morning. I heard rustling from the other room, which was odd because Itachi could move as silently as a shadow if he wanted to. My curiosity got the best of me, so I crept out of my room to his door. It was partially open.
I slipped inside and was unsurprised to see him waiting for me. I hadn't even started at the academy, so I wasn't very good at stealth yet.
"What is it, Sasuke?" His voice was tired, but still kind, just like it always was when he talked to me.
"I wanted to see you," I said. "You've been gone for a while."
"Yes," he said simply. He paused, staring at the floor, then asked, "How are you?"
"Fine, I guess," I answered quietly. I had actually been worse than fine. I missed Itachi when he was gone, more than I think he knew. I could tell he was exhausted; his hands were shaking. I moved toward him, arms outstretched for a hug, but stopped when he shook his head.
"Don't. I'm covered in blood." I blinked, then realized he was right. I hadn't noticed because of the darkness, but dark splatters covered his uniform and face. I drew back in horror.
"What –"
"Do you need anything, Sasuke?" he interrupted. I mutely shook my head, unable to tear my eyes from his bloodstained face. "Then go back to bed."
"But I –"
"Go."
I went.
I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
"Nii-sama, will you help me practice my shuriken techniques today?"
"I'm busy. Get Father to help you."
"But you're better than Father is!"
"I'm sorry, Sasuke. Some other time."
Always some other time. Always no.
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate
There was no grave, no ceremony. Why should I give him anything? I hated him.
Didn't I?
I kept hearing his last words echoing in my mind. Impossible. Had I imagined the whole thing? Part of me still expected to see him walking toward me, black cloak billowing, red eyes narrowed, ready for a fight.
He had tortured me. Massacred my – our – family. Invaded my village. Tried to kill me. But who had been the real victim?
Madara made me question everything I had thought about of my brother. He claimed Itachi had been manipulated and that he had kept me alive, not out of spite, but out of love.
Memories resurfaced. Memories that supported that fact. Comfort from my nightmares, play when I was bored, support when I was sad, love when I needed it.
And those tears.
I stared up at the sky, much too blue and peaceful. The sun felt warm on my face, but it could not dry my own tears. I cried unashamedly for my lost brother, and for what I had done.
It was you breathless and tall
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
And two strangers turning into dust
"Sorry, Sasuke… this is the last time."
Turning into dust.