AN: THIS... IS...(SPARTA!)...THE...BYPRODUCT...OF...crack. :)

Contains

Girl Fran and Bel romance

Pooping out babies

Random cravings

Emotional Fran

Re-incarnated Mammon/Viper

Bel's attempts at being a good daddy

AND a lemon

Total humor, born from a sugar high imagination that saw a youtube video.

Enjoy!

"Holy. Shit." Fran muttered, reading the Yes on the pregnancy test over and over again. "No. Way. THAT IDOIT PRINCE! HE FUCKING KNOCKED ME UP!" She yelled so loud it put Squalo to shame. "IT WAS ONLY ONE NIGHT! HOW THE HELL IS THIS POSSIBLE?" Fran started to panic, had she really gotten knocked up? Fran jumped off the toilet and ran out the bathroom. Only to come face to face with the man who knocked her up.

Bel stood in front of her, a good foot or so higher than the illusionist. "Whats the matter froggy?" Bel asked, no hint of a smile present on his face.

Fran glomped her lover to the ground and started crying silently. "I-I-I... Bel... I'm..."

"What is it?" Bel asked quietly, smoothing Fran's sea foam hair.

"I'm pregnant." Fran whispered.

Bel's heart skipped a beat. He wasn't sure how to react. Was he pissed? Happy? Excited? Anxious? Scared? All of the above he decided. "R-Really?" Fran nodded. "Shishishishishi~ Thats amazing."

"What?" Fran looked up at the insane prince, surprised would be an understatement on how she felt right now.

Bel ruffled Fran's hair, "Thats awesome. You being pregnant. It makes the Prince very happy." Bel smiled and placed a kiss on Fran's forehead.

"Really?" This wasn't at all what she had expected.

"Shishishishi~ Yes. What will we name her?" Bel picked his lover up and laid her on the bed and pulled the covers over them.

Fran still couldn't quite comprehend what was happening. Belphegor. Prince The Ripper. A batshitcrazy blood lusting assassin, part of the biggest mafia family in the WORLD, was happy that he was about to be a father? "So your ok with me being pregnant?"

"Yes froggy, the Prince has said this already. Now, what will we name her?"

Fran cuddled into Bel's chest (Something she only does in the privacy of her room.), "How do you know it's a girl?"

Bel shrugged, "The Prince just knows. Maybe we should name her Princess."

"No." Fran replied bluntly. "And don't even THINK about naming him/her Froggy."

Bel snickered, "Shishishi~ You know me so well." A few moments of silence went by before Bel spoke again, "What about Froggy Princess?"

"NO."

~A few days later~

"Why can't you go on this mission trash?" Anus asked, veins popping out from his head.

Fran looked at him boredly, her expression read I-Dont-Give-A-Shit. "Because idiot sempai knocked me up."

Xanxus spewed all over his desk, coating his playboys and mafia paper stuff in wine. "He WHAT!"

Fran turned to leave, only looking back to say "You heard me. I can't work for 9 months."

This, left Varia's boss speechless.

Fran walked down the hallway to Varia's music room (Suprising right?). Fran walked in and took a seat at the grand piano and began to play. Wonderful melodies filled to air, pulling Fran into euphoria.

Memories of that night flooded her mind. The heated kisses and touches. How Bel whispered her name and confessed his love in her ear, causing her heart to skip a beat. And the way Bel pulled her close when they were done and hummed sweet nothings in her ear.

But the most vivid memory was his eyes. His beautiful eyes. The pools of violet that lightened into a crystal blue towards his puples. They shimmered against the moonlight. That, was the only time she had ever seen his royal eyes.

~Month one~

"I hate you sempai." Fran muttered between dunking her head in the toilet. The past week she had been puking her guts out. And there Bel had been, at her side every waking moment. Xanxus wasn't happy to say the least, he had to deal with two of his most valuable members not working for 9 months. But nonetheless, the father-to-be had stuck by his lover every second he could. And even though he hated helping people (He is a PRINCE after all), he knew he needed to be there for Fran.

Bel pulled a few strands of hair out of Fran's face. "I love you Froggy." Bel kissed the mess on sea foam hair and rubbed soothing circles in Fran's back.

~Month Two~

"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeel Sempai~" Fran called from the couch in the Varia living room.

Bel walked up to the sofa and leaned down, "Yes Froggy?"

"I want food." Fran stated bluntly as she flipped through the TV channels. "And I don't feel like getting up."

Bel sighed, "What do you want?"

Fran thought for a second, then decided on her menu for the evening. "Pop tarts, pork dumplings, cheese wiz, chocolate, steak, some cereal..." Bel got up to leave, "And a fruit roll up." Fran concluded.

"Damn..."Bel said under his breath, "And I've got to deal with this for 7 more months."

~Month Three~

(Bel POV)

I heard sobbing coming from the bathroom. The past two months I've become accustomed to Fran's mood swings, but that didn't make me worry any less. So I did what I always do, walk in and comfort her.

Fran was curled up in a ball in the bath tub. Tears coming freely as she rubbed her stomach. I dipped into the steamy bath water, clothes and all, and sat down next to my princess. I wrapped my arms around her and hummed sweet nothings into her ear. "What is the matter dear?" I asked softly.

Fran turned and curled into my soaked chest, "I-I-I don't want to lose our baby..."

My heart shattered at the thought. I never wanted to think about that happening. The pain it would bring me. But most importantly, what pain it would bring Fran. I wanted this baby so bad, but I knew she wanted the baby more than I do, and if she had a miscarriage, she would die inside. "Thats not going to happen love." I cooed in her ear, trying my best to sound sure of that.

"B-But what if I-I-It does? The book that Lussuria gave me said that the first trimester was when the mother was most likely to miscarry... W-W-What I-I-If that H-Happens to me?"

I patted my frogs hair softly, "Its not gonna happen Froggy. Our baby is too strong for that. YOU are to strong for that." I reassured.

~Month Four~

"Ok Ms. Kaeru (That means frog in Japanese), I'm going to apply this gel to your stomach. It will be cold at first, but once it's warm we will be able to attach the scanner and see your baby." Fran nodded. Her baby lump was already VERY noticeable. Due to the fact that her stomach was as flat as a board, now showing a lump just a little bigger than Anus' head (lol).

The doctor pulled up Fran's shirt, earning a low growl from Prince The Ripper. "Don't. Touch. Her." Bel commanded and pulled out his knifes, VERY bloody thoughts running through the prince's head.

The doctor laughed nervously, "Sir, I have to pull up you wife's shirt to apply the gel so we can see the baby." Being Varia's personal doctor, he knew what Bel was capable of, so he made the process quick so he wouldn't anger the assassin further.

Bel scoffed, but didn't make any move to harm the doctor. "She isn't my wife." In a softer voice he whispered, "Not yet anyways..."

~Month five~

"Eww..." Fran looked at herself from a side view in the mirror. "I look fat." She said more to herself than to her lover throwing knifes into the ceiling.

"No you don't. You look pregnant." Bel stated simply. Not really expecting a book to go flying towards his head. "Oww. What was that for?" Bel whined, rubbing his head.

"You called me fat." Fran replied as she put her shirt back on.

Bel laughed, "Shishishi~ The prince still thinks his Froggy is sexy."

Fran raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? So you would still tap this?"

Bel snickered, "Is that an offer?"

~Month 6~

It was a normal afternoon in the Varia household. Squalo was yelling, Levi was stalking, Xanxus was drinking, Lussuria was squealing over the Varia couple on the couch.

Bel and Fran were comfortably watching TV. Fran, seated in between Bel's legs. Bel rubbing his lovers stomach. Just a normal day in Varia. Until a little foot hit the blonde's hand. The couple froze, not sure what had just happened.

"Did you feel that?" Fran asked.

"Y-Yah... was that?"

"I think so..."

"Holy. Shit."

"Yah..."

Bel jumped up and started dancing and doing this weird clapping thing. "SHE TOUCHED ME! MY BABY GIRL KICKED MY HAND! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT FRAN!" Bel pulled Fran off the couch and hugged her tightly. "I can't believe it."

Fran smiled, a little shocked that Bel had used her real name. "Me either."

~Month 7~

"Would you like to see your baby sir?" The doctor asked, Bel jumped over to the monitor and glued himself to the screen. "It's growing well. There seems to be no complications."

"I knew our girl would be fine. Shes going to be perfect." Bel smiled to himself.

"My boobs hurt." Fran complained.

The doctor laughed nervously, "Thats normal ma'am. Your body is preparing feed you baby."

Bel tore his face from the monitor, "MY BABY GIRL IS GONNA SUCK FROGGY'S TITS!"

~Month 8~

Fran had been painting the baby room for the past 3 hours (With the help of Bel, Lussuria, and Squalo)and she decided her child was going to be very happy with the room.

"VOI! I bet your mini Bel is gonna be into everything." Squalo smirked (Smiled).

Lussuira and Squalo had actually been really helpful during the whole pregnancy (Levi would have been too, but hes a creeper and no one likes him). From running to the store at 3 in the morning to get cheese wiz, to helping her up off the ground when she fell off the couch and waddled around like a turtle on its back, to decorating her kids room.

Fran smiled a bit, "If he/she is anything like it's father I'm sure." She took a seat in the rocking chair and patted her swollen belly. Bel couldn't help but laugh on the inside. Lately, Fran had been waddling like a penguin rather than walking. So evereytime she moved from one place to another he A) had to help her get there, and B) had to refrain from laughing as she waddled.

"Oh! I just can't BELIEVE it! In a MONTH there will be a new VARIA! Aww... I can just see it now! The little pitter patter of baby feet! And-"

"VOI! SHUT UP!" Squalo grabbed Lussuria by the hair and pulled him out of the room.

"Shishishi~ She is going to be very happy here." Bel genuinly smiled. "I can't wait to be a dad."

~Month 9~

Fran was on her way to the kitchen to get some more cheese wiz when it happened. "BEL! THE BABY!" She screamed. Immediately causing the entire Varia mansion to go into a frenzy. Bel scooped up Fran and rushed her to his Lamborghini. While Lussuria and Levi ran around in circles Squalo slammed Xanxus' door open and dragged his boss out of the mansion and out to his car.

Bel busted though to ER. The whole Varia squad and Italy's police force in his wake. The doctors swarmed to couple and prepared for the baby.

*After Fran pooped out the baby*

"It's a beautiful baby girl." The doctor announced, placing the baby girl in Fran's arms.

Fran gazed lovingly into her daughter's eyes. Just being able to see her child was worth the 7 hour labor (And breaking Bel's pointer finger.). She had deep purple eyes, just like her father. Small triangles on her cheek bones (A sign that she is of illusionist heritage), and a puff of purple hair on her head. She was truly a beautiful baby.

"She's so small." Bel smiled, tracing her jaw bone. "And pretty. She looks a lot like you Fran." Fran looked up to Bel. "I told you it would be a girl." It was a picture perfect moment.

Until a certain shark decided to break down the door and waltz into the room. "Wheres the baby?" He looked around. Lussuria walked in behind him, along with the other Varia (Minus Levi, cuz hes a pedo)

Bel waved his uninjured hand over his lips, silencing the shark. "Oh ya. Baby. Right. Whats its name?" Squalo walked up to look at the baby. "Ha, shes an illusionist."

Fran looked up at Bel and Bel down at Fran. They hadn't really talked much about names since the beginning of the pregnancy.

"Mammon." Bel stated, Fran nodded in agreement. The name suited the girl well, considering she resembled the mist arcroballeno remarkably.

The doctor weaved his way through the crown of Varia underlings, "Here you go Mr. Schwartz. The birth certificate."

|Mammon Reina Schwartz |

| Born:July 2nd, at 11:11 pm |

| Weight: 6.4 Lb |

| Gender:Female |

| Eye color:Purple |

| Hair color: Purple |

| Mother: Fran Karue |

| Father: Belphegor Schwartz |

| God Parents: Squalo Superbi and Lussuria LeReant|

Bel and Fran couldn't believe it, they were finally parents.

AN: Its 2:16 am. I've been at this since like... about 10 pm. Totally born from boredom and crack. I thought it would be cool to do.

Explanation

Mammon believes in re-incarnation. Proven in her fight against Mukoro.

She committed suicide some time between TYB and TYL.

So she is gonna be re-incarnated.

Bel and Mammon were very close.

Fran comes along, and her and Bel have a fling.

Fran gets knocked up.

Bel decides to name his and Fran's baby after his decised best friend.

Baby Mammon is the re-incarnation of the original Mammon/Viper.

Get it?

Total crack.

Review if you want to see little Mammon grow up and how she will be raised by the Varia group!

Ohhellio! (Some fucking gayass way to say good bye.)