S.P.H.S.
'07-'08
Prologue
Freshmen – Why is this god-damn place so big? Where's the biology lab? I can't find my bus. What lunch do I have? Is that big guy really gonna throw me into a trash can? Where's my fucking locker? And what's the combination? Should I join band? The football team? Chess club? Which two are social suicide and which one is just suicide? I miss Middle School.
Sophomore – Okay, so I know where my classes are, but FUCK I don't want that teacher. (Super-bitch). They raised lunch prices?? WTF?? Isn't a year of torture enough "dues" to pay? Why am I still and under classmen? I'm still small enough to fit into a trash can. Must avoid E core. Freshmen are super annoying.
Junior – Um, excuse you? Maybe you haven't heard but, I'm an upperclassman now. I'm not obligated to do homework. (Stupid-bitch). I hate Civics, Let's go to McDonalds. There's never any parking spaces in the student parking lot. Freshmen are still fucking annoying as shit. How much more of this do I have to take? 1 more year?…fuck.
Senior – Senior project. Senior skip day. Senior Prom. How many more days left till graduation? Friday night football games. Loads of homework. Skipping first period to sleep in. Okay, now how many more days are left? Yep, Freshmen are as annoying as ever.
Okay, so this is where it all REALLY began. Senior year. And all you GED recipients out there can, in one way or another, relate to the above scenarios. It's your basic four years of high school summarized into four paragraphs. If only it would have been that simple for me. To get my experience, you take most of the above scenarios, and then add, Lots of football, cheating girlfriends, 2 successful suicide attempts, sexy cheerleaders, homo erotic thoughts, teen sex, drugs, one anti-Christ, a couple hand jobs, love, countless deaths, arson, public sex-capades, blonde obsession, betrayal, racism, death by stiletto, a creepy blowjob, lesbian accusations, a head injury, and three very different best friends. It seems like a lot to fit in one school year, but trust me, it all happened. My name is Kenny McCormick and this is my senior year at South Park High School.