Smash Brothers Balls

All characters copyright of their respective authors.

In a far off land, many centuries ago, there was once a time when all the video game characters weren't competing for supremecy. For many it was a somewhat dull time, living out their regular routines. A very overwhelming majority of the characters, however, would daily have atrocious and disgusting acts of rampant gay sex to quell their gross urges. This is their story.

News Reporter: "This is Lucario, with Smash Live Action News. You may be wondering how a pokemon got a job as a news reporter on daytime television...Let's just say it took a lot of dedication, a lot of HJ's at the corporate officer, and a lot of other unthinkable acts such as poke'ball stuffing. But this isn't about that, we have our field reporter live on the scene right now in front of the Hero, Mario's house. The police are on scene at the moment at and have started 'It smells like a plumber's asshole right now'...Let's look now to our field reporter, Daisy."

News Anchor: "This is Daisy, live on the scene. We don't really know what's going on inside this house right now, but the MKPD (Mushroom Kingdom Police Department) have been getting reports of a domestic disturbance moments earlier and have just arrived on scene. They are planning to use tear gas. We don't know why they plan to use tear gas, one police officer stated that he was bored and felt like using tear gas. He also kept wanting to show me his moves. I refused. Let's see what the police officer has to say."

As the focus switches on the police officer, in the backround, mushrooms can be scene flying out of the house. The mushrooms have conspicous brown fluid on them.

Daisy: "Your name, officer?"

Police Officer: "Show ya moves!"

Daisy: "What..?"

PO: "Show ya moves! Show ya moves?"

Daisy: "NAME??"

PO: "coughs sorry about that..sometimes that just kinda happens. Officer Falcon, reporting for duty!

Daisy: "What's going on right now?"

Officer Falcon: " A very horrific and gay scene, I must say. We thought at first the domestic disturbance would be between Mario and PEACH. Turns out, it's between Mario and his very awkwardly beloved brother, Luigi..."

Moments earlier inside the mushroom house..

Luigi: Mario, you've-ah gotta stop this! You're killing yourself!

Mario: Fuck off Luigi, you don't know me. You're just a little bitch, now where did you hide my stash?

Luigi: Mario, these-ah poison mushrooms are killing you! You haven't looked this pale and greasy since you got addicted to-ah World of Warcraft! What would-ah Peach think of you?

Mario: Fuck that bitch! I couldn't give have a nut about her, where the hells my poison mushrooms?!

Later...

Daisy: "Police have just busted down the door, they are beginning to search the area.."

Officer Falcon: "Good GOD!"

Falcon watches as Mario is stuffing poison mushrooms in his own ass, Luigi lay on the floor with several of his teeth knocked out in a pool of blood.

Officer Falcon: "Oh what the FUCK you sick piece of shit. What the hell is this you sick pig, you sick ass piece of hairy cockbarrel lovely ass piece of shittin shit, Oh thats fuckin sick...Deputy..cuff him"

Deputy Pikachu: "PIKAAAAAA"

All of a sudden, a lightning bolt hits the roof and starts the roof on fire.

Officer Falcon: "I said cuff him you little yellow dickstain! Not burn us alive in a house shaped like a dick! Am I the only sane one here?"

Falcon carries out Mario and Luigi out over his shoulder forcefully, leaving Pikachu to die in the blaze of his own stupidity. Unfortunately, Pikachu's are replaceable.

Hours later, Luigi wakes up in the hospital

Luigi: "Mama mia...I'm-ah in the hospital? Nurse!"

A nurse walks in..

Nurse Pit: "Hey there I just flew in from San Francisco and boy are my wings tired...nyuck nyuck nyuck.."

Luigi: "Wait, you're a guy. What the hell-ah you doing in a nurse uniform?"

Pit: "Well..I AM your nurse."

Luigi tries to hide his laughter

Pit: "What's the matter?"

Luigi: "But...you're a man!"

Pit: "Well despite what a lot of people think, there are a lot of male nurses in the world, that are really quite masculine, well trained, and do it just because they have a big heart and want to help people."

Luigi: "Hahaha...alright, nancy."

Pit: "Damnit Luigi! I knew I shouldn't have loved you!"

Pit storms off crying, running like a little girl.

Luigi: "Gay little bitch..I hope he didn't do anything to me while I was sleeping. My ass does hurt a little bit. And this pool of semen on my stomach leads me to believe that someone may have violated me while I was in a coma...Oh well..time to check whats on TV..."

Luigi begins channel surfing through different programs, he finds a porno but notices it has nothing but girls in it so he floats right past it. After going through every station twice, he decides to settle on a TV show that suits him.

Luigi: "Hey I kinda like this show!...love and marriage..love and marriage..it's an institute..dah dah daaah dah.."

Will Mario ever get help with his drug problem? Hell, will he even get out of jail? Will he get violated by other inmates? Do you hope he does? If you do, go get help you sick little shit! Will Luigi ever get out of bed and turn the TV off so he can help his brother?

Tune in next time for "Married With Koopas!" In Smash Brothers Balls Part 2!

- Kargg