Alas, I don't own the Harry Potter world.
The Second Meeting of S.U.F.F.A.R.
By
The Geeky Quill
"Let us call to order the second meeting of S.U.F.F.A.R." said Madeline importantly in her best Margaret Thatcher voice as she stood smiling at the four people gathered in her home in Kensington. "Now, I have something for each of you." She began to pass out little note cards, but stumbled over Alex's long legs which were stretched out across the room as he lounged on the carpet. She nudged the boy with her foot, but he was stubbornly placid. "Bah," she remarked as she stepped over him to hand a card to the girl sitting behind him on the plush purple chair. "Emma, I'm so pleased the cats don't seem to bother you any longer."
"My mum gave me an allergy potion," explained Emma. She looked much better this time. She wasn't sneezing and watery. You could see her grey eyes which were bright and lovely.
"Well, your dog is making my pussy nervous," announced Mrs. Figg as Madeline handed her and Mr. Filch their cards. They were sitting on the sofa with their cats in their laps. Lying on the back of the sofa, was Madeline's dog, a small tri-color basenji. She was not one bit thrilled with the humans sitting on her sofa.
"Cleopatra," said Madeline, "Come here, girl!" The dog gave a high pitched whine, but didn't move. "Alastor, can you take Cleo?"
From the kitchen, Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, who was Madeline's older brother, called the dog in his usual gruff voice. "Hey, prima donna!" She immediately leaped down and scampered into the kitchen where he fed her a piece of cheddar. Alastor was always complaining that the dog was much too spoiled, even though it was he who did the spoiling.
"Now everyone, you'll read your cards to the group and then we'll all talk about them," Madeline explained. "Who would like to go first?"
"I will," wheezed Mr. Filch.
"Lovely," said Madeline as she sat down cross legged on the floor. She smiled expectantly up at him.
He read, "When did you realize you were a squib?" He scratched his stubbly chin and looked thoughtful. "I knew it when my younger brother started levitating my pet mouse, Binky. The little stinker would move poor Binky to the top of the bookshelf and I had to call my mother to get him down. I couldn't do nothin' about it. Then one day Binky jumped off and broke his tiny neck."
"That is so sad," said Mrs. Figg as she dabbed at her eyes.
"Not really," replied Filch, "Binky used to poop all over the place."
Madeline suppressed an urge to laugh. "Does anybody else want to share their experience?" She scanned the other faces. Her eyes rested on Emma who was looking at her pink Converse trainers, hoping not to be noticed. She looked up, because of the sudden silence in the room.
"I," she began quietly, "um...I knew I was a squib when I was eleven and I didn't get a Hogwarts letter and my cousin got hers and we were born just a few days apart." Her voice started to grow louder as the emotion took over. "I hated her! I mean, she's so stupid and shallow. Why should I be the squib?!" She harumphed with a frown, bit her lip, and then went on. "So, I wrote a letter to Dumbledore, telling him that there had been some mistake. He wrote back and said, sniff, that there was no mistake." She wiped her tears with her sleeve. "And that I would not be able to attend Hogwarts, but that there were very fine muggle schools in our area."
Madeline assumed a look of pity as she stood up. "You want a hug?" She put out her arms toward Emma.
"No!" shrieked Emma. "I don't want a hug! Not from you!"
Alex raised his brows and turned to look up expectantly at Emma, but she avoided his gaze.
"Okie dokie then," said Madeline with a false smile and raised brows. "Anybody else want to share anything at this time? No? Ok, who wants to read their card?" She sat back down on the floor.
"I'll read mine," said Emma with a huff. She sniffed and then began, "How did you feel when you found out you were a squib?" Everyone braced themselves for the barrage of feelings they expected to issue forth from the girl. "I felt like I wanted to kill myself!" Someone gasped. Somebody else made a consenting um-hm noise.
"I wasn't that upset."
Everyone looked to see who spoke. It was Alex, the lanky teen with the black trench coat and hair in his eyes.
"It explained a lot and I'd rather be a squib than a crappy wizard," he said. Everyone pondered that for a moment. "It's like being a muggle but I know about things that they don't."
"But you'll never be either," said Filch, with disgust in his voice. "You don't fit in anywhere."
"So what?" said Alex.
"So," said Filch, "Nobody respects you." He shook his fist for emphasis.
"Maybe nobody respects you because you're a git."
"Young man, you have-" Filch began to growl and point furiously, but Madeline cut him off before the tension rose further.
"This is wonderful! We're really getting our feelings out in the open. Let's all take a deep cleansing breath." She preceded to shut her eyes and breath deeply all by herself while everyone stared at her. Then she smiled and opened her eyes. "Now doesn't that feel better? Who has another card to read?"
"I do," said Mrs. Figg. She cleared her throat importantly. "Are most of your friends wizards or muggles?" She smiled and sat up straighter. "Well, for myself," said Mrs. Figg primly, "I have both muggle friends and wizarding friends. For instance, I have tea every Thursday with a very nice circle of muggle ladies. Then, there's the "Over Fifty Witches Club. We do charity work and..."
"Most of my friends are muggles," Alex interrupted. Mrs. Figg gave him a glare that didn't bother him one bit. "See, muggles don't have that air of superiority that wizards have."
"I have not found..." Mrs. Figg began to say before again being interrupted by Alex.
"Most muggles are happy to be just ignorant about most things and just have a good time." He threw his head back and arched his back in a stretch as he said this. Emma allowed a faint smile play on her lips as she watched.
Filch said, "Young wizards are just as happy to be ignorant as..." Alex began to interrupt but Filch just talked loudly over him. "As ignorant as muggles and they cause a lot more mischief, if you ask me!"
"Nobody did," muttered Alex.
Madeline wasn't sure if this was going at all well as she chewed on the tip of her quill. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have this many disgruntled squibs in one place. However, she allowed herself to feel a bit smug that her issues weren't nearly as bad as theirs.
"What about you?" Asked Alex.
"What?" Madeline's eyes widened to look like those of a niffler caught with its paw in a chest of galleons.
"You haven't answered any of these yet." Alex read from his card. "'How did your family react when they realized you were a squib?' Well?" He fixed his gaze upon her.
She swallowed hard and licked her lips that suddenly felt dry. "My family..."
Good old Mrs. Figg saved her from having to answer. "Well," she began in a stage whisper, as if reporting some kind of scandal. "My parents were very embarrassed. They sent me to a muggle boarding school. A very prestigious one, I might add. But, they told all the relatives that I had gone to a foreign wizarding school for girls because they didn't think that co-education was appropriate." She nodded solemnly at the two teens as the gaped at her.
"I was sent away to school, as well," said Mr. Filch. "I was supposed to learn the ways of the muggles," he said with a sour sneer.
"Now, it wasn't all that bad, now was it?" inquired Mrs. Figg with a bright smile at which Filch merely sneered.
"Oh, I can't wait for the best part," cut in Madeline as she leaped to her feet. She went to a large grey trunk, opened it, and took out a battered looking brown hat. "Dumbledore let me borrow the sorting hat."
"Really?" asked Emma sitting up with an eager look in her eyes.
"No, of course not," laughed Madeline. I bought it on Amazon.
Feeling rather foolish, Emma blushed and preceded to consider running away to join the Royal Navy and spend the rest of her life at sea. However, curiosity got the better of her and she decided to stay and allow herself to be sorted, even if it was just make believe.