Warning: This story has no plot and no common sense at all. This was one of my first works from a while back, it may cause seizures, brain damage, desire to fling a computer out a window, and anal seepage.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters (which is probably better for everyone).
Insanity, marriage, crack, and pregnancies!! What happens the most unexpected characters have a confession to make? I wrote this like a script so it'll probably suck.
Talking: blah blah
Thinking: 'blah blah'
Ichigo's house
Renji: Ichigo I'm pregnant.
Rukia: You too!
Ichigo: 'All I wanted was a back rub.'
Door gets kicked in. Enter Grimmjaw carrying Ulquirra bridal style.
Grimmjaw: WE'RE GOIN' TO VEGAS!!
Exit Grimmjaw laughing madly, Ulquirra sighs.
Orihime: I wanna be the flower girl.
Runs after them.
Rukia (crying): That's so...(sob)...beautiful.
Renji: How come Ichigo won't marry me?
Rukia (no longer crying): You! I got him first. He owes me.
Renji: Ow no you didn't. Bitch, I will pimpslap yo' ass back to Soul Society.
Rukia: You wanna go?! Bring it on hoe!
Renji: It's on Skinny Bitch!
Ichigo (currently forgotten in the background looks at his watch): 'Thank God.'
Enter Byakuya in his gigi. All fighting stops.
Byakuya: Ichigo are you ready to leave?
Ichigo: Hell yeah!
Rukia and Renji look at each other in confusion.
Exit Byakuya and Ichigo, Byakuya's arm around Ichigo's waist.
Renji: oh no! I'm a single mom!
Rukia: (Gasp) Me too!
Renji: What do we do?!
Rukia (thinking hard): I have an idea! Let's be single moms together.
Renji: Ok!
Meanwhile: At Fancy Italian Restaurant. (With tacky music)
Byakuya: Ichigo I want ask you something.
Ichigo (swallowing a large bite of food in one gulp): Ok shoot.
Byakuya (getting on one knee): Will you marry me?
Ichigo (who had just taken a large sip of his wine sprayed the drink over everything around him.)
A silent moment passes.
Ichigo (squealing like a fangirl) threw his arms around his now, wet, fiancee.
Byakuya: I take that as a 'yes'?
Sobbing Ichigo nods his head vigorously.
20 years later in Soul Society Ichigo crept quietly through the Kuchiki mansion on his way to Byakuya's room. He came home early from patrol to surprise his husband. Flinging the door open he was stopped in his tracks. Byakuya lay flat on his back with a familiarly tattooed body on top of him.
Ichigo: Byakuya?
The unknown male lifted his head to face Ichigo, bright orange hair hung around his shoulders.
Boy: Dad?
Ichigo's jaw hit the floor, the Renji look-alike staring at him in awe.
Byakuya: 'I'm in for it now.'
End?
A/N: Um...don't ask. This is what seven or eight Monsters at three a.m. and a Hershey bar will do to your brain.
Yay! This stories has over 200 hits! WOW! I'd really like to know what people think of it so R&R please.