The summer was fresh, like the pages of a newly opened book, the virgin spine not yet bent with hours of dedicated study. The trees flourished under the hot Scottish sun and the water of the lake shone like rippled glass, glittering with light. Students, with their shirts untucked and their ties undone, roamed endlessly across the lush grounds. They basked in the warmth and joy that came from the end of their seventh year exams. This period of elation came every year for most students, but not all of them.

Naive little twits, Severus Snape thought, running his long, pale fingertips along the windowsill on the fourth floor. The stone, miraculously, had not soaked up the dizzying heat of the summer day. He caressed the cold still, the movement losing importance to the depth of his thoughts. His hand automatically moved to his forearm, where his skin was forever branded with the mark of his slavery. Even in the midst of such stifling humidity, he shivered.

He heard the quiet knock immediately and turned toward the door. There were not many who knew of his private study, which he had adopted from an abandoned classroom; they were, he thought, a privileged few. Nevertheless, he knew exactly which visitor to expect today. He clutched at his forearm with even greater tension.

"Enter," he called, his voice low and cold, masking pain that had been eating at him for months.

And there she was, a vision in gray; her red hair was on fire, as hot as the day itself, and her green eyes shown through like emeralds among ruby. Her sweet skin, her sweet succulent skin that had once been his to touch – a far away beauty once again. Her body never failed to stir the senses, and her speech never failed to agitate the mind. Severus swallowed hard.

"Hello, Severus," She said, smiling tentatively, reaching out to grasp his hand with her dainty, slender fingers. He recoiled without thinking.

"Good afternoon, Lily," Severus stiffly replied, delving deep into her trusting pool-like eyes. She realized what he was doing and blinked hard. When she opened her eyes Severus was displeased to see that her eyebrows met at a defined line in the middle of her forehead and her eyes had turned fiery with anger.

"I know what you're doing, and you'd better stop," She snapped. "I've come here to talk to you, not to be searched. You should know me better than to suspect that I would dream of lying to you."

Severus blinked. "If you wish to say something, you had best get on with it," He replied acidly. "I have other pressing matters to attend to."

Lily reached for the bottom of her cardigan. Severus watched closely, just the least bit uneasy. A sweat broke on his sallow palms as she began to pull the cardigan up over her belly. It came off with her tie and she stood before him, breasts swaying and abdomen exposed. Severus found that he could not meet her eyes.

Her belly was swollen in pregnancy, and her breasts appeared enlarged and ready for the child. From what Severus had seen in anatomy books, he could guess that she was at least eight months along. It was now apparent that she had been hiding it with charms put on her clothes and various glamour spells. When he looked up at her, her eyes were rimmed with tears.

"Why..." he began shakily, fighting himself not to bellow. "...did you not tell me sooner?"

"I'm sorry," her face crumpled and tears spilled down her pretty cheeks. "I didn't want to upset you."

"THE ONLY POTION I FAILED TO CORRECTLY CONCOCT IN MY ENTIRE ADOLESCENT LIFE LEAD DIRECTLY TO THAT UNBORN CHILD AND YOU WERE AFRAID OF UPSETTING ME?" Severus screamed, no longer thinking of restraint. His sallow skin had taken on an unpleasant pink tinge, which was slick with perspiration. Lily crumpled below his maddened gaze and his heart wrenched with pain.

"I'm so s-sorry, Severus," Lily sobbed, clutching her round stomach. She sunk to her knees with her head bowed. "I know I should've told you. I know. And this...this is precisely why I didn't."

Severus turned towards the window. His fingernails were making bloody half-moons in his palm, but he took no notice. He would only remember later when he would find blood on his robes.

We were children, he thought. Children having children.

He turned to her suddenly. His stomach somersaulted when he saw her flinch, as if she expected him to strike her. Severus kept his distance but relaxed his posture.

"I can still get rid of it. A simple potion is all - "

"No!" Lily cried, clutching still at her orb-like belly. "You will not harm this child."

Again, Severus swallowed, though his mouth and throat were as dry as parchment. "And how to do plan to hide this - child - from Potter?" he choked on the word, hardly believing it applied. But it did.

Lily swept past him, not meeting his gaze and stood three feet from the window, crossing her arms over her bare chest. "I'll go away and have it, and then we can decide together. You and I, Severus," She added when she saw him stiffen.

"You know as well as I that I am in no position to raise a child," Severus said. Lily turned to him, eying him with something like hatred.

"Yes. Because whomever would want a Death Eater for a daddy?" She spat bitterly. This time, Severus almost did hit her – and was stopped only by the burning of his forearm. He grasped it and hissed.

"You simpering wench," Severus snarled, still fighting the searing pain. "You leave me in disgrace to run to your new Quidditch playboy lover and you come sprinting back when the product of our coupling is too much to ignore. That isn't exactly the sort of courage Gryffindor so audaciously boasts."

"You could've had me, had you bothered to care!" Lily shouted, now reaching the point of hysterics. "You are so damned cold, Severus! So callous and inhuman and unfeeling! You are empty inside to me. You are nothing. You...you disgust me."

Lily yanked her cardigan carelessly back over her head and left the room in a hurry. Severus was left to stand at his place by the window, staring down upon his peers and again damning them for their innocence. He knew he had sabotaged his only chance with her, and soon he would be faced with the product of what he once had and never would again.

Severus ran his fingers along the windowsill. This was not, of course, the first or even the second time he had considered jumping.

I felt, and it was destroyed, Severus thought.

I will never feel again.