Ron was walking with Harry and Hermione, talking about the test that they just had in their charm class. They walk into the Great Hall for lunch time and not far from their usual spot at the table. Suddenly, Ron's hair stood up on end. He look around and saw their new Dark Art Defense teacher walking behind them. He was looking down below their belt line. Ron jump back from the blonde teacher when he started to smile at Ron.
"My dear boy. Are you ok?" Lockhart looked behind him to see nothing. "You don't need to be scared of me. I can give you what you want." His smile somehow grew even wider.
"I don't trust you as you give me a very bad, weird feeling." The redhead boy hissed out.
"Oh? And how am I causing it?"
Ron turn to his friend who was looking at the boy in confusion. "You all know that when i get a feeling that overrides my hungry belly, there usually is reason to worry?" which was returned with a nodd even from the other children nearby. "Well, i know that every time i am anywhere near the blonde, my belly drops quickly and my butt tightens up. I didn't know why until just a few weeks ago thanks to the twins telling me about that feeling i got from Snape and the Headmaster. Snape was walking by them when he heard his name. Ron turn to Lockheart. "And with your knowledge of fashion and style, you're not straight at all, and that worrys me."
"Weasly. What you mean by the twins and feeling of me?" the potion master sneered.
"Gred, did we tell Ron anything about Snape in the last month?" His twin thought hard before shaking his head. "Wait, where did you put that truth candy that we just made?" His brother turn to him with eye wide.
"I don't know. But He is more talkable then normal."
"Shite, we about to be in a deep crapstorm." nodding once more.
Ron walked down the stairway from his dorm. He saw a box of different candies on the table near the older students dorm door. He look around and didn't see anyone. Nobodies saw the box of candies disappear when the second year boy walk by nor the empty box that fell into the trash near the doorway. Ron felt his belly rolling a little weird but thought that he was just hungry. Ron went out of the common room to the great hall for lunch.
Fred step out of the Dorm door that Ron passed and look around. "Gred, did you put that box up?"
"Yeah, I think I did." The twin step out. "Let get something to eat"
"Well, Sir." Ron slowly backing up, keeping his butt away from the two threats in front of him. " They say that, you give out a lot of 'Special lessons' to your snakes and not one is good enough, which is why you are so cranky." Ron blurts out without thinking.
"Oh and what is this special lesson that not a one of my snakes is good enough to cause me to be so 'cranky' as you put it?"
The drugged boy replied with no filter on his mouth, "Well, as i can understand it. Most of the 'special lessons' that you give are normally for the males. And the way I hear it, most whine or just roll over like that Draco boy. He seems to hang around you very closely. So I think you are crankyness is due to none of the boys are good enough to Dom you and your last Dom master died thanks to Harry here. So that's why you hate Harry with passion. But I do know that if you are willing, there is something in the daily Prophet that i read yesterday about a Dom looking for a dark haired Sub that knows how to make his own lube."
He was met with great shock and silence from the great hall as all were listening to him, the twin was awestruck as they couldn't think of anything better than the prank that their youngest brother was pulling on them. They were willing to take the blame….until they saw Snape face. He was turning so red that, he started to bleed from his nose as at least ones of the vessels popped. Everyone waiting in fear of what Snape will do, he amazed them by just storming out the door.
Ron stare out the door in shock that he just said all of that himself, "well, I think I am going to get a bad grade from him for rest of my school years while I'm here." Most of students, even the Snakes were nodding with him.
"Can you explain to me what you're meaning by Dom? That sounds very interesting to me. You can come up with me for lunch and explain it in detail?" Lockhart move closer to Ron which anyone that understood what he was talking about was turning green. There was few gagging and couple ran out to the bathroom to empty their belly.
"AAHH! STAY AWAY FROM MY BUNGHOLE!" He run out of the door only to ran into Dumbledore. "AAHH! IT THE GRAND MASTER OF THEM ALL! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Ron scream as he ran down the hall. Leaving the headmaster in great confusion. He turnned to see almost all of the students were either green, pale, or red by holding in their laughter at the sight.
"Did i miss something?" He asked the great hall. Before he was able to get an answer by anyone, Ron was heard again.
"AAAAHHH! STAY AWAY FROM MY BUTT! I STILL UNTOUCHED THERE! PLEASE DON'T BUGGER ME!" He was seen running by the door…..with Snape after him.
"YOUR ASS IS MINE! YOU LITTLE FUCKING PIG!"
The hall stare out the door in shock until Ron run back in and toward Harry. "HARRY! I NEED MY AK-PROOF MEAT SHIELD!" He scream, causing harry to jump up and start to run from him.
"FUCK YOU MAN! I'M NOT DEATH CURSE PROOF!"
"LET TEST IT THEN! YOU ALREADY DID IT ONCE! AND NOBODY KNOW WHY, SO LET STUDY IT AND KEEP MY BUNGHOLE SAFE!" Ron chasing Harry around the table with Snape still grasping at his shirt by inches. Everyone was froze in shock and didn't know what to do not want to bring the attention of the mad potions master or crazed redhead upon them.
"HELL TO THE NO! HE ALREADY HATES ME! AND I DON'T NEED HIM ANYWHERE NEAR MY ASS EITHER! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT HE LOOKS AT IT IN CLASS!"
"THAT'S IT! I'M FINE WITH TESTING IT ON BOTH OF YOU!" Snape roar at them both as they run out the door. "ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, YOUR ASSES IS MINE, YOU LITTLE……" The sound of screaming trail off down the way.
The Great Hall watched the door in sheer shock that someone had the balls to say that to the dungeon bat's face. They all agreed in their heads that the respect for them went up so much…...then they all agreed to pray and will be bringing flowers to their graves.
Harry's voice was heard faintly but still clearly due to how quiet the Great Hall was, "CALL YOUR MOM! SHE CAN SCREAM WITH THAT HOWLER AND CAN BLIND HIM!"
"WHAT YOU MEAN! OH SHIT!" A sound of spell hitting something echoes.
"BATS SEE WITH THEIR EARS! IF YOUR MOM HOWLER SCREAMS AT HIM THEN WE CAN HURT HIM AND BLIND HIM SO WE SAVE OUR ARSES!"
Another spell was heard, "MOOOOMMMMMYYYYY!"
"AAARRRGGG!!" For some reason, it sounded like Snape turned into a cross of a bull and monkey of some sort.
Everyone was getting a little worried as the sounds were getting closer until *Bang* everyone jumped when a loud noise was heard not far from the doorway. Another bang was heard and few sounded like the clanging of the few suits of armor were falling over. A few more moments of quietness passed, then a sound of clanking was heard until it was quiet again. They held their breath as footstep were coming back.
Harry came in with the hall armor leg on his right leg and helmet on his head. He was humming a tune with Ron behind him humming too.
Ron had the other armor leg on his left leg and lower body armor. "Hey look, butt shield." He spun until the back open up, very much like a long john butt flap. "OH COME ON!"