"AHHHHH!!!!"

A loud crash could be heard throughtout the entire Akatsuki base, along with the piercing scream of a cetain blonde artist. All the Akatsuki members came running down the stairs, thinking they were under attack,and to their embarassment, still wearing pajamas. All but one.

They all filed into the kicthen to see Deidara standing there, completely dumbfounded, with pieces of broken dishes scattered around the floor. They stood there staring at him, until one of them decided to disturb the silence.

"My...china...It's all broken." Zetsu's light-half muttered. Then his dark-side started.

i "I should killl you, Deidara--" /i was all he manged to get out before bursting into tears.

"Shhh...It's okay," Kisame whispered as he patted the cannibal's back.

"Ummm...Who's gonna pay for this?" Kakuzu inquired, irritated.

"Money is all you fucking care about, asshole. And you, Blondie," Hidan then looked over at Deidara, "Clean this shit up or I'll freaking castrate you. My feet are bleeding and they fucking hurt, thanks to you."

He turned and headed upstairs to Sasori's and Deidara's room, where he burst in without a second thought. He saw Sasori laying on his bed, his half-lidded eyes staring at the ceiling.

"Do you need anything, Hidan?" he asked in complete monotone.

"Yeah, tell Blondie to stop having his nervous breakdowns. Third one this week. Plant man is downstairs crying his eyes out because all of his china is broken!"

"Hn. I'll give him a word."

Hidan then turned to leave the room when Sasori called after him.

"Oh, and Hidan?"

"What?"

"You spoke three whole sentences without cursing." he said, stating the obvious. He then added, "I'll remind Kakuzu to give you a treat later." Hidan knew what 'treat' meant.

"...How did you...Whatever. Fuck you, termite food." And with that, he left cursing under his breath. Sasori smirked, at both confronting Hidan about his knowledge on their affair, and Deidara's 'nervous breakdowns'.

He knew they weren't nervous breakdowns. i So he found the letter from his 'secret admirer', eh? /i -he thought to himself. Little did Deidara know that Sasori was his secret admirer. i Deidara's a blonde, but he can't be that dense to notice I'm in love with him, right? /i Sasori always asked himself this question. So he devised a plan to give love letters in the most unsuspecting places, each with a hint about who his 'lover' is. He began this operation on Sunday. It was now Wednesday, so just a few more days until Deidara hopefully knew who his admirer was.

--Downstairs--

Deidara had finally snapped out of his 'episode' after hearing Zetsu bawling, sprawled out on the floor. Of course, he was already comforting Zetsu just enough to stop the loud sobs. Itachi was there, but seeing as how he was almost always quiet, no one had noticed him until he camly interrogated Deidara.

"So what happened that made you scream and destroy all of Zetsu's lovely dishes, Deidara?"

"..I..uh...thought I saw something, un! Yeah that's it!" he replied with uncertainty.

"No you didn't. I can tell you're lying, Deidara."

"What makes you think I would be lying, un?"

Tobi piped up, "I believe you, Deidara-sempai!"

"Quiet, Tobi," Itachi said coldly. He glared at Deidara. "What's in your hand?"

"Just a letter. Why, un?"

"Let me see it." Itachi held out his hand, expecting it to be handed over. Boy, was he wrong.

"Iie, un! It's my business, and my business only. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some cleaning to do, un." Deidara began walking past Itachi when he felt a hand grasping his wrist and cutting the circulation to his hand.

"Give it. Now."

WHACK!

Itachi's face began turning red where Deidara had slapped him. Big mistake. Itachi pulled Deidara's hair toward him, and threw Deidara on the ground with the pieces of glass, making small holes in his cloak.

"Bitch, un!" He kicked Itachi in the balls, which brought him to his knees. Then they started full-on wrestling each other.

"Take your tops off!!" Kisame yelled. Zetsu then stated, "They're like teenage girls-" "- i They're being complete pansies! /i " his dark-half interjected. Tobi just got scared shitless and ran out of the room screaming, "Make them stop!!!!!" Kakuzu yelled, "Look at all the furniture you're breaking!! I'm not paying for this!!"

--Upstairs--

Sasori was still idly laying in bed, thinking of his blonde partner. Wasn't he supposed to make breakfast today? He knew he can't eat, but couldn't help feeling sorry for the other members. i What plates would they use to eat on? /i He chuckled softly. He then heard a certain masked Uchiha running around screaming, "Make them stop!!" What? He decided to inquire the masked idiot as he got up and headed out of his room, only to have Tobi run straight into him. He stumbled back a little, and then glared a what-the-hell-are-doing-idiot?-glare at Tobi. Tobi's blood ran cold as he stuttered, not wanting to anger the puppet further, "I-Itachi is w-wrestling D-D-Deidara downstairs..."

i Oh, shit /i was all Sasori could think. He strode hurriedly down the stairs to witness the younger Uchiha with a smirk, practically straddling Deidara, his Dei-kun! He walked over casually to stand with Kisame, Zetsu, and Kakuzu. He noticed the others cheering them on and decided to put on a puppet show. Since no one noticed him, he carefully lifted his hand and used his chakra strings to manipulate Itachi. Itachi, of course, noticed. i Damn Sasori, /i he thought.

Sasori twitched his talented fingers and forced Itachi to strip. i This will teach you to mess with my Dei-kun. /i Everyone began wooting, and he smirked ever-so-slightly. Poor Deidara. He was completely terrified as he stared at the Sharingan-wielder stripping on top of him! He yelled, "Get off me, you man-whore!! Go strip for Kisame!!" He struggled to get away. Sasori heard this, and got a new idea. He made Itachi stand up and push Kisame into the nearest chair, resulting in a lap dance. The puppet couldn't help but smile mischieviously. Deidara quickly got up and saw Sasori. i He looks cute when he smiles, /i he thought. Sasori noticed Deidara staring at him and stared back.

"Is there a problem, Dei-kun?" Deidara snapped out of his little world and blushed madly.

"No, nothing, Sasori-Danna, un! Thanks for getting Itachi off me, yeah."

"Anytime, Dei. Let's head upstairs."

"Hai, Sasori-Danna, un!"

Sasori then dispersed his chakra strings and grabbed Deidara's hand, leading him to their room. The Iwa-nin blushed at the gesture, of course.

Seeing as how he was free, Itachi quickly got off of Kisame and ran after Sasori, about ready to rip his head off. "Awww, you're done already?!" Kisame called.

The puppet-nin noticed this and turned around to face a very upset Uchiha.

"May I ask what the hell that was about?"

"Whatever do you mean, Itachi?" he replied innocently.

"You know what I mean." He pushed him up against the wall.

"Oh, i that /i ? Maybe you'll learn to keep your hands off my partner. I suggest you let me go before I cook your partner, weasel."

Itachi knew he was dead serious and backed off. Sighing, he said in defeat, "Fine, you find out what your partner's hiding from us. It's annoying the hell out of me to see broken dishes everyday."

Sasori smirked, knowing he won this battle and stated, "I don't see why you would be upset for giving Kisame a lap-dance. I can tell you u both /u liked it." i Me:1, Weasel:0!!, /i he smirked.

Itachi just glared at the puppet before returning to his usual, careless expression, then smirking, saying, "I wouldn't be worried about my affairs if I were you, Sasori," he then whispered so only Sasori could hear, "But then again, who knows? You watch yourself or I might go after your partner."

i Bastard /i , Sasori thought. He shoved Itachi aside and continued leading Deidara upstairs. i I'll have to watch out for him from here on out. /i He and Itachi didn't exactly get along, but this crossed the line. i If he gets in my way, I'll turn him into a damn puppet and make him wear a pink tutu...Yeah, that's what I'll do. /i