Hey all DLW with a Valentines Day story. As a preface, it's a weird comedy about trying to get it right that has a weird inspiration (Tank Fail-Seeker [Deviant Art] for the piece and the anime that inspired the neurons in my brain to make a weird connection). More info at the bottom. Disclaimer: Zootopia and its characters are copyright, Disney.

Happy Valentines Day All!

Missed Kiss Missed Kiss!

Judy had a jump to her step as she quickly approached her apartment building with Nick trailing not far behind as he agreed to walk her home - as he was (in his words) a 'chivalrous gentlemammal' - before heading back to his apartment himself. The ambience of the city - that subtle tone of roaming vehicles and rustle of trees in a warm wind - doing wonders to her blissful day with the radiant sun setting behind them to warm their fur.

The doe smiled as she recounted their evening. She and Nick had gone out to dinner at a popular restaurant after work hours and discussed quite a bit about their lives and they had - after Nick's insistence that it was a date - finally come to the conclusion that they should start dating. It, after all, had been a year into their partnership on the force, and they had known each other for far longer.

Upon further recalling the day, she even wore a deep purple and grey highlighted dress. Something that she practically never wore, but still had in her wardrobe for special occasions and events back home. Something that, up until now, she never had the need for, but just on that day decided to wear as formal dress despite having dinner with the fox many times before. And it wasn't just her, Nick had on what she could only see as a fully tailored green suit and burgundy vest; something she had never seen him wear in all the time she had known him.

So, there they were, enjoying the remnants of the day and each others company while Judy's mind swirled with the realization that she and Nick were finally an item, a couple. She almost squealed on the spot, but kept herself in check as they were in public.

"Carrots, if you jump any higher, they may call ASEA (Animalia Space Exploration Administration) on you for a UFB," Nick said with a slight chuckle, his paws hung in the air as he pointed skyward.

Embarrassed slightly at her own tempo, the rabbit cut it down a bit... maybe by 2% or so and reduced her - taller than Nick - jump to a slightly more casual - up to Nick's nose - hop. She couldn't, however, keep the tint of red away from her ears and cheeks.

Before long she saw Nick laughing at her dilemma. Trying to compose herself before her whole face burned up, she thought of a well-rounded response. "Well, seeing how rabbits come from the moon, that shouldn't be a problem," she stated, smiling and feeling the heat in her ears recede a little.

Her reply didn't deter Nick from grinning wider. "Huh, that explains why Vitz was howling at you in broad daylight."

Judy's ears dropped and her eyes narrowed. "Uh-huh... and that had nothing to do with you changing my ringtone?"

Nick shrugged and trekked on. They both knew he had been caught, his workplace antics were rather common in that sense. She still enjoyed them from time to time, but she had to draw the line at his ventilation shaft antics... they couldn't get the smell of imported cheese out of the break room for a month. She had no idea how he even acquired it in the first place, let alone how he misplaced the thing. And to have the heat running in the winter?

She shook her head and pressed forward. Being on the block with her apartment in view, she fished out her keys from her purse. Nick had been there many times with her to watch a movie, work on a late case, help her with shopping, or even play a board game when Finnick was around. They still never beat her in Furisk; her bunny army was too strong!

By the time she had gotten her keys out, she noticed that Nick had been patiently waiting at the stoop of the building, casually swishing his tail and looking around almost as if he were... nervous? Though she popped a quizzical brow at his visage, she opened the door all the same.

Her 'home away from home' as she called it was the shoe box apartment on the fourth floor of the Grand Pangolin Arms. Judy may not have had much in the way of stuff - clothes, books, and a laptop -but she had more than enough. She had friends and family photos, noisy and creepy neighbours all around. And now... now she had a boyfriend, Nick. Something about that title made her heart jump a little as she bounded up the stairs. It was like centrifugal motion that pumped through her heart at that moment.

His footsteps followed hers, just a foot or two behind. She didn't know why she felt herself blush. He had walked her home many times, but now... now she'd tell him goodnight as her boyfriend. Now he'd say goodbye to his girlfriend! She was his girlfriend now! She was in perpetual bliss!

As she reached the apex of the stairs, the thought raced through her mind a ten miles minute, and for bunnies, that's a fast pace. That's a bunny's heart on caffeinated energy drinks! Or any day that her younger siblings got into the sugar back at the family warren... she never questioned why her mother had that closet full of bunny straight jackets. Though a few of her siblings preferred the duct tape.

"Hey, Carrots?"

Nick's subtle voice brought a blush to her face, it was warm and comforting to hear him. She turned to see he had a gentle smile on, the kind that he rarely had; it was the kind that lacked any sarcasm but was full of care and concern. He was even at eye level with her, being on the step below the landing. His eyes, Nick's eyes were something that she marvelled over and over again, but more so today than any other. They held a certain gleam that she had never caught before, but couldn't grasp exactly what it was.

Nervously, she wrung her paws and fiddled with her purse. The blush she held made her want to look away, but it was because of his eyes that she couldn't. She could even see his fur was a little bit redder than it used to be.

"Nick, I-" she began, trying to find the words but unable to make sounds in that moment. Her ears even started to fall flush to her sides, but she didn't dare look away. "I-i- ha-"

Nick rubbed the back of his right ear. "Yeah. Me too Carrots," he said with a nervous chuckle.

While she was thankful for the save, she wanted to let him know that she appreciated him more. Something that she hadn't thought of before this day. Something that now, as his girlfriend, she decided she would do. She closed her eyes and leant forward, letting her mind go blank as she hoped he would return the gesture. It was a pivotal moment, this was her chance for a kiss!

A tense moment passed between the two before anything happened. With the creak of stairs and feeling his breath against her nose, Judy knew she was about to have her first kiss. Something she had never experienced before, something that made her heart beat faster, something that-

"OH MY GOSH!"

-went downhill and up in flames in that instant.

As the shrill voice rang out from behind her, a sharp pain coursed on the edge of her lip. Unable to even turn and see which neighbour it was - probably that creepy gossip pig again - Judy shot her eyes open in terror. Her gaze landed on a startled looking fox who had his muzzle locked onto hers. A muffled scream came next.

It wasn't just the initial shock that she had from the failed kiss, but the fact that she couldn't breathe was what caused her paws to try to push his mouth away from hers. Despite Nick on the verge of releasing her and probably to profusely apologize to his girlfriend for accidentally biting her on their first kiss attempt, that's not what happened. Her paws found purchase on his chest and freed her from him to be able to breathe.

Then, as Gnuton's quote goes, 'For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction' it just so happened. The equal action was that Nick was freed as well; the opposite reaction... gravity and reflexes took over. The fox's paws searched for (and found) something to hold onto as he lost his balance and fell back with a remorseful twist on his muzzle. Unfortunately, for both of them, his paws found her.

The shrieks only grew louder as their worlds fell with them facing one another, Judy's terrified expression and purple dress filled Nick's vision as he felt everything turn upside down. He didn't register when - likely after the first second - but the first bump he felt on his head made him instinctively snap down in pain, only causing more of the sensation as his tongue was still flailing about.

Judy wasn't far behind in that fashion. As Nick was just below her, yelling out what little he had in his lungs, the edge of a step caught her view. Being mid-air already, she couldn't do much more than shield herself with one paw as she braced for an impact that would surely be painful. And, sure enough, the moment she felt her body continue its journey down the stairs, she felt a surge of pain shoot from her mouth. It tasted of copper and she could swear in that immediate moment she saw a flash of undefinable, brilliant colour.

It didn't stop there as the two fell; each eliciting screams, gruff's, and groans upon each step they took. Each time they tumbled and gained a new view of their end at the bottom. They collided into one another a few times, barely differentiating the pain from hardwood. When they had finally both landed in an ugly display at the bottom - Nick on his shoulder and rolling to his stomach, while Judy landed hard on her back just at under his chin - all that could be heard were the sharp intakes of breath from the both of them.

In this blissful... or at least somewhat dulled moment, they could barely hear someone shout from the top of the stairs, "Someone call an ambulance!"

Feeling the bruises and blinking rapidly, Nick forced himself to open his eyes which he knew were swollen. He saw Judy clasping her mouth and twitching a little. The fox's mind traced back to his academy training where he heard that the twitching was a reactionary shock thing, something that trauma can cause without one knowing. He wanted to shout, to scream her name and see if she was okay, but instead, the twitching turned against him.

He felt her foot connect with his chest in a way that he could only describe as a rhino truck taking a shortcut through a glass factory. He coughed and hacked, letting him know that he was still alive... until the truck made a round trip and pushed him a few inches away and somehow flipped him on his back.

In the seconds that followed, Nick thought, when he finally regained consciousness, he'd have to pay his cell phone bill. Soon his eyes began to close before he saw a white furred foot flail closer and closer to him...

The sooner they were in the hospital, the better.

Hello there, you've reached the end notes! Don't worry, they're perfectly fine. I wouldn't have a comedy story otherwise.

Okay, this story is gonna be kind of odd, but hilarious. As I said this was inspired but... oddly so. It started when I was on DA and saw that Fail-Seeker had a picture of "Arashi No Yoru Ni: Himitsu No Tomodachi". I loved that anime and am still waiting for either an OVA or a final episode or something because it was just that good... Long story short, I rewatched the last episode and heard the song "Dear My Friend" by the band "U-Kiss". As it was incomplete, I thought "What if Judy and Nick couldn't complete a kiss?" Then this started with a different title of "Dear my Kiss" or something I couldn't remember.

Then I thought to name it something that sounded like 'Kiss' and the onomatopoeia for kiss 'chu' or 'chuu' came to mind. And that's why it's called that with puns and altered titles from songs that have 'kiss' in them... there were hundreds! And just that many in English! I havent gotten to the k-pop/j-pop ones I'm going to do yet!

Also, I'm starting my drabble collections soon.

And I hope you get a chance to read this and the other stories at your leisure. All can be found here as well:

fanfiction:
~dancinglunarwolves

deviantart:
dancinglunarwolves

archiveofourown:
users/DancingLunarWolves/works

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Till Next Time
-DLW