The hand holding and the "love you." The writers really gave us things to write about in the season finale. So here is yet another episode tag. Spoilers for the crimson hat.

Jane POV:

I taste dirt on my lips; but it doesn't matter, my relief that all my digits are intact doesn't matter too. Red John got away that matters, but not as much as how Lisbon reacted when she found me sprawled on the dirt. I reached for her hand and linked them with mine. She held on. I felt a slight squeeze when the other SUVs arrived, a bit of hesitancy when the other cops started staring but she didn't let go. Even when I could tell she was uncomfortable with all the attention.

She never let go, she never lets go. I guess that phrase could sum up or describe Lisbon. She doesn't let go. Even when there is nothing left to hope for, even when the road seems never ending. She holds on. That's why I love her. She knows that now and apparently Red John does too. The fight will be harder now, before I only had to avenge my family, now aside from revenge I am going to have to protect her. If only I could abandon this fruitless quest I would, but jumping ship now does not guarantee her safety. I find now that I am fighting for my past and my hope for a future. A future with her.

Lisbon POV:

Here I am back in my office, trying to figure out how many more paper work to fill out. The kid is dead, he wasn't so bad. He was a fair boss and a smart kid for his age. Wainwright was killed by friendly fire; this shit storm won't pass for a long while. This is what Red John does; every time he rears his head hell breaks loose. And after all the pain and sacrifice the team and the bureau has gone through we still have nothing to show for it but a stained reputation.

I wonder where Jane is, how is he taking this? After the attempted interrogation with Lorelei he sulked off with that darkness on his face. I wish I could save him, underneath it all he is still human after all. And his humanity can only take so much. He is beginning to crack, from the "love you" slip up to the hand holding in the dessert he is beginning to show his human side. And I don't think humans can battle a monster of Red John's caliber.

In the back of my mind the question remains, why her? Why sleep with Lorelei after all the years of waiting? He said he loved me but feigns ignorance when confronted about it. Then I find out he slept with someone to get to his means. I wish I could believe when he said that he loves me, I wish that I could not suspect why he held my hand for that long in the dessert. But with Jane everything is a means to an end. He may have been hoping for one of Red John's minions to spot us in the dessert, or for my office to be bugged so that Red John can hear him profess his love.

But what if he wasn't lying? What if he meant it? What does it mean for me? For us? If there is a possibility for an us.

I better get back to my paper work. Every question will be answered in time. Nine years of dealing with Jane has only taught me one thing. I will give him all the time he needs, even if I would never admit it to anyone.