"Penny for your thoughts?" Wally waved the copper coin in front of the disgruntled man's face. That's how Wally had found the archer, silent and broody while sitting at the kitchen counter at the cave. He was used to his friend being broody but not silent. The archer usually never made an attempt at staying quiet when something irked him, he complained except now. He probably had just finished his patrol in Star City as Red Arrow sat in front of him instead of Roy. The man's bow and quiver sat on the countertop and the man was sitting with his elbows on the counter and his hands clasped in front of his mouth.
Wally waved the penny again. The red haired archer didn't move from his stool on the other side of the kitchen counter, trying to do his best to ignore the speedster. Wally stopped waving the penny for a second as his green eyes scanned the costumed hero before repeating himself in a singsong tone "Penny for your thoughts"
"Shut up, Kid Mouth" Wally frowned for a second at his friend. He hated it when the team, or this case Roy, called him that. He replaced the frown with a smirk as he delved through his pockets. His tongue stuck out of his mouth as he tried concentrating on the feel of the loose coins.
His face lit up as he pulled out a larger coin and proceeded to wave it in the archer's face "Nickel for your thoughts?"
"Go bother someone else"
Wally slapped the coin on the table next to the discarded penny and rummaged through his pockets again "Dime for your thoughts?"
"Leave" Roy bit out as he scowled at his fellow redhead.
Wally wouldn't leave though because he just knew something was bothering his friend "Alright, a quarter!"
This time Wally received no response, which he supposed was better than being told to leave but not good enough to get his friend to open up. Wally placed the quarter on the counter with the rest of his change before pulling out his wallet. He retrieved a crisp dollar bill and slid it across the counter to his friend "You drive a hard bargain, maybe you'll sell 'em for a dollar"
Wally grinned as he placed his own elbows on the counter and placed his hands under his chin as he stared at Roy. The archer felt his eye twitch behind his domino mask and fought with what to do in his head. Part of him wanted to take the dollar and stuff it down Wally's throat and hope that would be hint enough for him to let the subject drop. Another part of him wanted to see how far Wally would go, collect the money and leave. It never hurt to have spare change. However, there was one small part of him that wanted to talk, he just wasn't sure Wally was the best choice. Kaldur seemed the far better option but the cave was empty except for the two redheads.
Roy sighed in defeat and scowled more when the speedster's grin stretched from ear to ear in victory "I'm being sexually harassed. Happy now?"
The speedster nodded feverishly before leaping partially over the counter. He moved too fast for the archer to react but Roy felt the teen stuff the coins in his front pocket and then felt Wally slip the dollar between his belt and costume. Roy shoved the boy away but Wally only laughed as the archer's disgruntled look deepened "I was being serious" was all he had to say for his actions.
When Roy didn't elaborate further about what was bothering him Wally piped back up as he spun on his heel and opened the fridge "So who's been trying to get in your pants?"
Roy groaned at his friend's lack of tact, he really didn't need any mental images at the moment "Cheshire"
Roy watched his friend shift through all the contents of the fridge looking for something particular to eat. The speedster usually wasn't picky when it came to food but on rare occasions when he wanted something he wanted it bad and wouldn't stop till he got it. He wanted an orange? He'd speed all the way to Florida and pluck it fresh from the tree. Wally's persistence on getting what he wants is probably why Roy was even talking to the boy. Wally finally pulled out the carton of milk and chocolate syrup before turning to the cupboard.
"Jade, right? Artemis' sister? Dude, I know she's got a thing for you but isn't sexual harassment an exaggeration?"
"She jumped me, put a sai to my throat and kissed me! You don't think that sexual harassment?"
"So… you don't think she's hot?"
"She's a criminal!"
"Oh I get it" Wally waggled his eyebrows at his friend as he started stirring together the milk and syrup into two glasses "Your morals won't let you tap that unless she retires her life of crime so you're sexually frustrated"
"That is not…" Roy scrubbed his face with his hands and let out an exasperated sigh "I don't want to 'tap' her, Wally"
Wally pushed a glass of chocolate milk across the counter to his friend. Roy didn't even really notice that he picked up the glass and started chugging on it. The speedster however, gave a small chuckle at the broody superhero who was wearing a milk moustache. Roy raised an eyebrow and when Wally waved a hand to indicate he was wearing his drink he reached for a nearby napkin and wiped his mouth and tossed the dirty napkin at his chuckling friend "Hey! That's just being rude" but Wally was laughing "Okay, so she's just not your type then and you want her to stop?"
"Basically"
"I've got the perfect solution!"
"No" Roy scowled again at the speedster, he had a feeling he wouldn't like this "idea."
"Don't worry" Wally winked and sped off only to return a second later with his laptop in his hands "the Wallman's got you covered"
"The last time you said those exact words to me you landed on the roof of Oliver's car"
"A minor mishap, the plan was still a success"
"Minor? There was a Wally shaped dent in the car!"
Wally ignored his friend and logged into his computer. Roy couldn't see the screen from his seat but he heard several clicks of the mouse and keyboard. Finally the smiling teen turned the laptop around for him to see. He had opened the web browser and had googled dating sites, clicked on one and now Roy was faced with a page asking him to fill out his information. His eye twitched again "You see, if you're dating someone else you can just tell Cheshire that and she should get the hint and you meet a lucky lady… or guy, I don't judge, and get rid of all that sexual frustration and you might actually smile for once. Two birds with one stone!"
"I am not signing up on some damn dating site!"
"You'll thank me later" Wally pulled the laptop back around so he could begin typing a profile for his friend, a smile tugging at his lips "Name: Roy Harper. Sexuality… Huh, didn't know these sites actually asked for that, mind you I never use these things because I have my natural charm with the ladies" Wally clicked the little drop arrow and read the options out loud "Straight, gay, bisexual… bi-curious? That's kinda weird right? I mean, if this is a dating site wouldn't bi-curious be a stupid option to pick because these help you 'find your soul mate' but if you go out with someone the same gender and satisfy you're curiosity but realize you really aren't into…"
"Stop!" Roy shouted. He didn't know what Wally was talking about because he was speed talking but he knew he didn't really want to know. He just knew it had something to do with sexuality. He pulled the laptop from the speedster, clicked on an option and gave it back to Wally hoping to quiet him.
Wally nodded as he looked at the chosen option and began filling out the profile once more while read everything out loud to his archer friend and ignored most of the complaints or curses thrown his way. Favorite color: red. Likes: debate. That one got another complaint from Roy. Dislikes: yellow hats with red feathers.
"Oh, I like this one. Describe in as simplest terms as possible how and why you got onto this dating service"
Wally pushed the laptop to the archer, finally letting him have a say on what was posted. Roy typed a short sentence and wasn't surprised when the speedster took it back and read it: An annoying friend asked "Penny for your thoughts?" Wally nodded in approval before grinning devilishly and typing a little extra in and returned it to the archer to read: and now I have 41 cents in my pocket and a dollar in my belt. Roy reached over to hit the delete button but Wally had used his super speed to pull it away.
"I hate you"
"You love me"
Roy had given up all hope of getting out of this with the persistent and obnoxious speedster and his head fell to the counter "Why me?" the archer grumbled into the counter's surface but Wally wasn't paying attention.
Roy sat in brooding silence as he let Wally do what he wanted. There was no point in fighting it even if he just walked out of the cave Wally would either finish by himself or follow Roy wherever he went. Better to just sit and wait "Hey Roy, look here. You already have a message… oh…"
"Oh?"
"Uh…" Wally's green eyes held uncertainty before finally turning the screen around.
Roy's eye twitched a third time that day as he glanced up from the counter "Jade"
"Persistent, isn't she?" Not much different from a certain redheaded speedster I know, Roy thought "Oh, good news though. You can block her"
Wally clicked the mouse and a message popped up "Do you wish to block this user? They just might be your soul mate" Roy reached over and pushed "yes" before placing his head on the counter and didn't care how much time passed.
Wally typed away and didn't hear a certain Aqualad enter the kitchen. Kaldur saw Wally beaming from ear to ear and Roy beating his head lightly against the countertop. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what was going on but he was worried Roy was losing his sanity. Kaldur walked over to the archer and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Roy twisted his head a little to the side to look up at his friend from the corner of his eye. The Atlantean gave him a confused and worried look before speaking "I believe there is a human saying… 'A penny for your thought?'"
Kaldur's worry grew as his friend groaned and began to beat his head against the counter once more. It was Wally who finally piped up but kept his gaze on the screen "It'll cost you $1.41 to be exact"
Kaldur just tilted his head, more confused than before and for the first time that day Roy actually gave a small yet short chuckle, one that pulled a large smile from his fellow redhead.