Use Somebody.

Jac Naylor sat in the cafeteria, unable to tear her eyes away from Joseph and Faye who sat talking animatedly at a table just metres away from her. She didn't understand how he could do this to her. How he could sit there with a wife he didn't really love in front of the woman who he knew had changed so much due to the love she still held for him; the man who she had hurt more than she had ever thought she could possibly hurt another human being. She understood why he was with Faye. She was doting and the dutiful wife, while Jac was complicated and cold and spiky. She had never been able to give him what he wanted from her, so why should he believe she would now? But she also knew that Faye would never love Joseph like she did, not with the passion, not with the fire and definitely not with the gratefulness that came when a person like her knew that she had been taught by another human being how to love and how to begin to truly feel. How could he sit there with her, in front of the woman who he came to just a month before in the middle of the night, soaked with rain, with tears streaming down his face claiming he had fallen out of love with the woman he now sat dutifully beside, leaving Jac sat out in the cold, her heart in torment and tears threatening to fall behind her usually expressionless and stoic eyes.

As Josephs' eyes briefly met hers, the same sadness in them as that night, she looked down at the table, unable to meet the gaze of the man she knew was torturing himself as well as her. She remembered that nights every detail. How he looked, how he felt, how his lips and then his skin tasted, what it was like to be in his arms again, entangled in the bed covers, their limbs entwined as they made love, his body still shivering with cold. How, after that, could he sit there with someone he had told her he no longer loved while she, the woman he had come to, sat alone, having to pretend it had never happened? Having to pretend it was still as easy as before to carry on when she knew what it felt like to have him at her side and in her bed all over again?

'Have you ever fallen out of love?' He asked her forlornly as he stood in her doorway, raindrops falling in little splashes onto the doormat, leaving a trail on the laminate as she led him to the sofa.

'Not with you.' She replied simply, walking through to her bathroom and grabbing some towels out of the airing cupboard. She then walked over to her bed, pulling an old t-shirt of Josephs out from the drawer underneath it. She had never been able to bring herself to give it back to him, but she had also never been able to look at it since she had so badly screwed things up. Instead it had lain under her bed, screwed up, as a painful reminder of what she had lost.

'You still have that?' He asked appearing in her bedroom doorway. He looked so sad that she felt her heart break inside her chest.

Jac could feel herself blush. She looked at the floor as her cheeks reddened.

'I wondered where it had gone.' He told her, walking towards her and taking the t-shirt into his hands. His cold fingers brushed hers.

'I got you some towels. You should take a warm shower. You're freezing. What are you doing here Joseph?' Jac then asked him softly, sitting down on the bed and looking up at the man standing in front of her with wary eyes.

'Faye and I...'

'Joseph please don't come here and speak about your love for Faye. I couldn't bear it.' She told him simply, turning away from his gaze and looking at the glistening patterns that the raindrops had formed on the window, lit up like crystals by the streetlights outside.

Joseph sat down at her side. His t-shirt clasped in his hands. Even though he was shivering with cold she could feel the warmth radiating off the body which was so close to hers that they were almost touching.

'Love for Faye? What I feel for her...it's a lie Jac. It's always been a lie. I sat there tonight in a restaurant with her, on what would have been our anniversary...yours and mine...and I realised that what I feel for her...it's nothing compared to what I felt for you...that devotion...that passion...that need to take care of you no matter how cold or angry you were all of the time...'

'Our anniversary?' Jac whispered. 'I didn't even...I had no idea.' She told him ashamedly. Her eyes began to burn and she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

'I didn't expect you to.' He whispered, using his thumb to brush the tear away. 'I told you we could never go back when we were quarantined in that theatre. Why should you remember after I told you that I couldn't turn back the clock? After all you're the mighty Jac Naylor, tough as old boots...'

'You know that's not true.' She told him softly. 'Not anymore. Because of you.'

Joseph studied her for a second, using his shaking fingers to prop up her now tear stained face.

'You're so beautiful when you let yourself feel. 'He whispered, running his fingertips down her cheeks. 'Why did you do what you did? Why would you throw us away and drive me to her?'

'Because I was stupid. I didn't know any better. I was scared Joseph and when I'm scared I screw things up because it's all I know how to do...and when you left and I couldn't get you back...when you met Faye and you chose her over me...even after her lies...even in that room when we were dying...I didn't drive you to her Joseph. You chose her! Even when we were dying you chose her!' Jac half sobbed and half shouted as emotion overcame her. She quickly got up from the bed and walked over to the bedroom window, turning away from him so he couldn't see the tears.

'I loved you and you hurt me.' He said simply, emotion evident in his voice.

'I love you and you hurt me.' Jac replied, wiping her eyes as she tried to regain some composure. He didn't deserve her emotion.

Joseph got up from the bed and walked over to the tearful woman at the window, one who he sometimes loved and loathed in equal measure but knew he could never let go of no matter how hard he tried. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.

'What are you doing Joseph?' She asked him softly, able to hear his teeth chattering on her shoulder.

'I don't know.' He replied quietly as he turned her around to face him. 'All I know is that I took a wrong turn somewhere and now...'

'You're just as lost as I am.' She replied looking at the floor.

'No. Now...I'm home.' He told her, taking her hand in his own and leading her to the bed.

Jac could feel the tears threatening to fall as she remembered what had come next, and then waking the following morning to a note on the pillow next to her stating that he was sorry but it never should have happened. He could never leave Faye no matter what he felt for Jac because she was his wife and Jac had thrown away any chance of ever being anything more to him than the woman that had cheated on him and broke his heart.

She had never known what had really led him to her that night, nor why everything he said had disintegrated with the arrival of the morning rays of sun, leaving her bed and her life once again cold after a glimmer of light had come back into them. He hadn't come near her since. Instead she had seen him with Faye more and more, although she could see things were strained and forced and she could see the deep rooted sadness in his eyes. Now she was forced to watch them yet again, playing the perfect husband and wife in a cafeteria full of their colleagues and she wished for nothing more than for the ground to swallow her whole.

Deciding enough was enough Jac got up from her chair and moved away from the table, but as she stepped away she was gripped by a pain deep within her stomach that was like nothing she had known before. She bent over double and let out a pained cry that try as she might she couldn't hold in. She couldn't move, and then as the blood seeped on to her trousers from between her legs she felt her knees turn to jelly as she fell to the floor.

She could hear chairs screech and footsteps rush towards her as the floor began to turn crimson red underneath her.

"Jac? It's going to be all right. Don't panic." Came the voice of the woman she loathed, Faye now crouching at her side. "Joseph I think she needs to go to maternity. This is clearly gynaecological." Faye whispered.

Jac could barely focus. All she could think of was how much blood there was and what could possibly be causing it. Fear built in the pit of her stomach as the cramps continued and realisation hit her. Burning tears built behind her eyes. Please God no! The next thing she knew was that she was being lifted off the floor by strong arms which cradled her so delicately that it seemed almost impossible that they were keeping her ensconced.

"Joseph let them bring a gurney and take her. You don't need to do this." Faye whispered following behind him as he hurried through the cafeteria and to a lift.

"I'm hardly going to leave her bleeding on the floor Faye. She needs someone to go with her. Look at her." He pleaded.

"And why does it have to be you?" Faye hissed behind him as he waited impatiently for the lift to open.

"Because I'm all she's got. If you could tell Elliot where I'm going. I'm sure he'll understand." Joseph told his wife as she stood open mouthed, watching as Joseph cradled the whimpering Jac in his arms, blood having pooled on his shirt before the bleeding had finally slowed somewhat.

As soon as the lift doors closed Joseph studied the woman in his arms, his heart filling with dread as he noticed how pale she was and how much blood she had lost.

"It hurts Joseph." She whispered, sounding so unlike the Jac that he knew and still loved.

"I know." He replied kissing her on the top of her red hair. "You're losing a baby aren't you?" He whispered into her ear.

Jac let out a sob.

"If I am, I didn't even know that it was there." She replied tearfully, resting her hand on the stomach which was cramping so much underneath it that she could barely breathe.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered into her hair. "I'm so sorry you're losing our child."

Jac could hear the tears that were threatening to fall in his voice.

"So am I." Jac replied honestly. "Because you are the only man I would ever let myself have one with."

"I shouldn't have left you like that...that morning....this is my fault. I shouldn't have made you feel the way I made you feel."

"Its karma Joseph. Don't you understand? I'm Jac Naylor. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve a baby. It's payback....and now a baby I didn't even know I was carrying is dead. I deserve this...I..."

And with that Jac's world went black and Joseph Byrne was left cradling the woman who had been carrying his child within her in his arms, praying for that lift to hurry up so that he didn't lose her for good and the blood on his shirt a constant reminder of the part of him they had both just started to lose.