What Never Was

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Chapter One: East Blue, Part One, Starting Off

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i. The First Crew Member

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"Heeeey, Nee-chan. Whatcha doing there?"

"Waiting," she tells them. The bandana wrapped across her head, cast shadows over her face that did little to make her look less intimidating. Corded muscles stand out, straining against the bonds.

"For what?" Luffy asks curiously. Coby tugs at his shirt but he ignores the little boy.

"For another twenty-one days to pass." Her expression is strangely predatory.

"Shishishishi." Luffy laughs. "You're strange. I'd die if I had to stay tied up like that."

"I'm Kuina." She says, as if that were answer enough. "I'll be the best swordsman in the world. This is nothing."

Her stomach growls, betraying her brave words.

More meekly: "...you wouldn't happen to have food, would you?"

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ii. Okama

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Kuina is rowing as fast as she can and thus nearly misses the okama's peril. He's grasping weakly at some debris and she takes all of ten seconds to fish him out of the water.

"Thank you," the okama says, "thank you sooooo much. You are a swanderful person-"

A pair of paddles clatter onto his head. He blinks.

"Can you row?" Kuina asks.

"Stop jooooking around! Of course I can row!"

"Good." She sighs and admits the sad, embarrassing truth as she continues to row: "My Captain was kidnapped by a bird."

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iii. Buggy

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"Nami-neesama!" Bon Clay yells, twirling as he kicks the ruffians away.

"Bon-chan!" Nami exclaims.

Luffy is laughing from his iron cage. Kuina's eyebrow twitches. There's a story here but she's not entirely sure she wants to know what it is.

"So," Buggy says, eyes glinting menacingly. He has a fistful daggers that Kuina is paying very close attention to. "Both Pirate Hunter Kuina and the Deadly Okama are after my head, huh?"

"The lovely and beauteous Nami-san has showed me the error of my ways!" Bon Clay announces grandly. "I am a pirate thief! A thief that steals from pirates!"

Nami groans into her hands. "Stop announcing it, Bon-chan."

Kuina just says: "No."

"Well, I don't care, if I kill you two my name will grow!" Buggy says before launching himself at them.

Bon Clay kicks the clown in the groin.

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iii. Syrup Village, Part I, Lying Children

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They arrive in Syrup Village on their two little boats and admire the quiet scenery. Luffy, of course, is hungry so they wander towards the village restaurant only to get lost as Luffy's nose picks up more appetizing smells. Unfortunately, they make it to a private mansion and although Nami's eyes sparkle, Luffy is adamant that they only steal from bad people.

Which Nami agrees to, of course. She and Bon-chan only steal from pirates! No one else! Obviously!

There's the sound of glass tinkling and then a thin, wiry man comes out, holding three struggling kids by the back of their pants. Then he tosses them out in the street, sniffs at the bedraggled appearance of the pirates and retreats back into the mansion.

The children dust themselves off dutifully before yelling at the retreating butler. "Idiot!" "Meanie!" "Captain Usopp!" "Idiot, Captain Usopp's not an insult!" "Ow! But he'll take it like one!" "That doesn't make it right-"

"Captain Usopp?" Luffy asks, excited. "There are more pirates here?"

"He left with his Dad a while back," one of the kids admits, eyes hidden by a hat before fearlessly getting to his feet and extending a hand. His gaze seems captured by the okama who is spinning in place although it's hard to tell, what with his eyes being hidden at all. "Are you pirates too?" He asks uncertainly.

"Sure are!" Luffy grins. "Whatcha doing?"

"We," the child announces, "are telling lies."

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iv. Syrup Village, Part II, Asking for a Boat

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"Can we have a boat?" Luffy asks, the first thing after the children introduce them to Miss Kaya.

The blonde girl smiles warmly at them. She toys with a slingshot. "Did you really know Usopp's dad?"

"Don't look at me," Kuina says, holding onto Nami's arms while Bon-chan holds onto her legs. The thief seemed to have lost her composure in front of so deliciously unguarded treasure.

"Of course I knew him!" Luffy exclaims. "He sailed with Shanks!" He leaned in conspiratorially: "Shanks is really cool. And so was Yassop. He could shoot an ant's leg off a mile away!"

She puts a hand to her mouth and laughs. "Really?"

"I made a bet with him once," Luffy confided. "And I lost! Shishishishi."

"Usopp used to tell me stories-"

She's stopped by a voice that bellows: "What are you plebeians doing here?" The butler walks around the corner of the mansion. "Get away from the young mistress, you filthy peons."

"Kurahandol!" Kaya exclaims, appalled.

"It's only the truth," the butler says silkily. "Allow me to remove them from the premises-"

"We'll remove ourselves, thanks," Nami spits out. They walk away and Luffy waves cheerfully.

"I'll be back!" he promises.

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v. Syrup Village, Part III, Declaration of Battle

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"Ne, Nami, I don't get it."

Nami feels like strangling the self-proclaimed captain but manages to restrain herself. They're on a bluff overlooking a clearing where Kuro and Jango are conversing. "They want to kill Kaya, you fool."

"Ah! That cheerful girl? We have to stop them-"

And Nami knows what he's about to do and manages to stop him. "You idiot. They have more pirates here! When neither of them come back, what do you think will happen? They'll rampage and then the entire village will go up in flames."

"Oh." Luffy puts a finger to his ear and digs into it. He snorts. "I still think I need to beat them up."

He stands. Nami tugged desperately on his sleeve but it's no use. "YOU GUYS. DON'T KILL HER."

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vi. Syrup Village, Part IV, Battle

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"Gaaahaahahahaha! You are very strong, Kuina-san!"

"You idiot! She's hypnotized! Knock her out!"

"Gaaahahahaha – don't worry! Okama kempo is the strong - OW!"

"Arrrgh, this is no use. Luffy, wake up!"

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vii. Syrup Village, Part V, Aftermath

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"I'll give you Going Merry..." the blonde said, eyes bright, "if you'll take me with you."

"It's dangerous," Nami hedges and even if she doesn't refuse a free gift ever, those with strings attached make her read the fine print several times. "They're pirates."

"Aren't you a pirate?"

"Me and Bon-chan are pirate thieves," she corrects. "We steal from pirates." Then she amends her words because the two crazy idiots are growing on her. "Bad pirates."

"Shouldn't I be giving the Going Merry to Luffy, then?" Kaya asks, confused.

At this point, Luffy has the spectacularly bad timing to round the corner. "You're giving me the Going Merry?" He asks, delighted. Scratch marks still dominate most of his body.

Kuina and Bon-chan are still recuperating.

"Yes!" She says, before Nami can get a word in edgewise. "If you'll let me be a pirate!"

"Of course!" He smiles. Then he grins. "You're pretty good with the slingshot. Shishishishi."

She smiles shyly. "I was taught by a... by my best friend."

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viii. Hawkeye Mihawk

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Kuina breathes raggedly. She can barely see through the haze of pure anger. "I – you – looking down on me because I'm a wom-"

"Do not mistake me," the best swordsman in the world says calmly, holding out his tiny dagger as he waits for her to find her feet. "You are just a tadpole swimming at the bottom of the well, mistaking pennies for treasure and gnats for true foes." He shakes his head. "You have yet to see the real world."

"DON'T LOOK DOWN ON KUINA-SAAAN!" Bon-chan yells from the sidelines.

"Don't bring attention to us, idiot!" Nami says, smacking him on the back of the head.

Johnny and Yasopp are trying to do something stupid and heroic. Luffy bangs their heads down onto the deck. Sanji-kun is being held down similarly by Zeff-san. Kaya has her hands covering her mouth.

Kuina takes a deep breath. "On your honor as a swordsman," she asks, desperately willing her voice not to betray weakness, "it is not because I am a girl?"

He nods and holds out the dagger again.

Kuina gets to her feet and smiles grimly. This time when she attacks the dagger follows every movement and then plunges deep into her chest. She chokes out blood.

"Step back," Mihawk says softly, "or die."

"I think..." she says, blood spurting. "That I would rather die than lose."

The dagger retreats. He takes out the black longsword. Kokutou Yoru. The strongest sword in the world.

Kuina feels something in her chest loosen. It's probably blood loss.

She steps forward and attacks again. When he cuts her open – a single gash that splits open her side and goes for the soft, meaty things that can never be trained she chokes out more blood but gets to her trembling feet and turns around.

"You will die," he tells her.

"Then I will die fulfilling my dream." She tells him, eyes laughing.

When she attacks again he cuts her from left shoulder to right hip and she falls to the broken deck.

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ix. Man-Demon

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"I'm not a cook," Gin growls as he plunks the half-edible meal down.

Kuina devours it voraciously. Or as voraciously as she can manage with two wounds that should be enough to kill her. Luffy sobs but quietly since Kaya has a surprisingly scary smile for someone who is supposedly a sickly youth and she refuses to have people riling up her patients.

"Saaaanji," Luffy cries as he devours the food, "my meeeeeat. It tastes so bitter."

"It's good for you," Kaya chides, drinking the soup without any apparent disgust.

"You were the one who wanted to leave him behind!" Gin explodes. He's holding a notebook with someone else's dream. "And why did you take me with you? The Grand Line's a crazy place, kid. Take it from me, you won't survive it."

"We needed a navigator," Luffy says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world as he continues sobbing. He sounds heart-broken. "Since Bon-chan and Nami left."

Kaya nods sadly. "She took my pocket money too. She really is a pirate thief."

"I'm not a navigator either!" Gin exclaims as if it's pertinent information. "I'm a killer! A thief! A murderer!"

"That's alright," Kaya says, patting him consolingly on the shoulder. "So was my butler."

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x. Continuation

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"Hey! Where's my sword?"

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Omake: Reunion

"Ow! Why'd you hit me? And what's that – ew, rotten eggs?"

"Mom said you'd never come back! And now – now – why are you so late. Huh?"

"Hey, kiddo, I know it wasn't-"

"I promised Mom I'd become a brave warrior of the sea. I promised!"

"Well kiddo, you never promised you'd do it on your own, right? Come on, chin up. I came back as soon as I could. That was the deal."

"Oh come on , stop crying. Pirates don't cry."

"Dahahahahaha. You're a goddamn liar Yasopp. Pirates cry all the time!"

"Woah, woah, Dad, is that the Shanks?"

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Author's Notes: Here's the drabble version of what would have been the first arc of What Never Was But Might Have Been. I re-read the first chapter and sadly realized that if I changed Tashigi's name to an OC one I'd almost end up with a Mary Sue of some sort or another. So! I switched some things around (Kuina's a lot more ruthless in my imagination, and yes, Zoro's dead in this verse, he tripped down the stairs instead) and then popped out the highlights reel. I admit, with this format, I can probably complete the damn thing.

Oh, and, this was indirectly inspired by Aoi24's AU challenge. Far more directly inspired by Phalanx's Five Pieces where the Supernovas end up as Straw Hats.