Regular Show: The Techmo Chronicles
Chapter 1: The Warning
(DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Regular Show because it belongs entirely to J.G. Quintel and Cartoon Network. So, enjoy the show! Rated T for violence and crazy situations.)
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
-J.R.R. Tolkien
Some decades ago...
In the past, the park was just another hangout as the house was still under construction. Everyone there was having a good time as there was constant work to maintain it, especially from the prestigious Maellard Family, who happened to own it. Yes, it was a peaceful time as Skips was doing some fixing on stuff that needed to be put into tip-top shape. Little did he and everyone know was that there was a walking and talking birdhouse that was digging a hole as he wanted what was in the middle of the park. He continued to dig until he found a dark amulet that contained an evil power. When he touched it, he became fixated on the park as he was also bent on world domination as well. It wasn't long until he was stopped in his tracks by Techmo, who was also known as Samson at the time, as he was there to put the birdhouse in his place.
"Give it up, Guilder," he said. "You'll never take over the world with the dark magic that you possess."
"Well, well; if it isn't Samson," said Guilder as he was surrounded by dark energy. "You're too late! The power of this dark amulet that I found is mine! With this awesome power, I'll be strong enough to plunge it straight into darkness!"
"You're out of your mind, Guilder! That dark power will never belong to you!"
Techmo drew out his sword as he challenged Guilder to a battle. Both hero and villain battled to the death as they were in a struggle between good and evil. It was a battle in the park that could never be ignored as Techmo used his powerful sword to bind Guilder and the amulet around his neck. It wasn't long until he got help from the Twelve Sages as they helped secure the dastardly villain in his prison as he was casted away from the world for all eternity. The park was saved once again as everyone rejoiced in the peace that returned. Even Skips and the Maellard Family were happy that the park was safe as the darkness was contained forever. It was a tough battle, but there would also be a time when evil would be released into the world again, for Techmo would be ready to face it when he got the chance.
###
Present Day
It was yet another day in the park as Mordecai and Rigby were busy de-gumming the benches on yet another fun-filled day before their shift was over. When the day was done, they went back to the house as they decided to sit down and play video games. It was a simple pastime for them as they were simply there not only to work, but to slack off at several times while enduring the wrath of their boss, Benson. When the t.v. was turned on, the game system was ready as it was about to be played. The games so far that were played were Dig Champs, Wedgie Maniacs, and Double Death Punch as both Mordecai and Rigby were about to play what game that was suitable for the game system.
"Okay, we're gonna play Wedgie Maniacs," said Mordecai.
"But I wanna play Dig Champs," said Rigby.
"Last time we played Dig Champs, you dabbled into Death-Kwon Do just because you wanted to beat me at Punchies."
"Stop talking!"
"Well, it's true."
"Fine, we'll play Wedgie Maniacs."
And so, Mordecai and Rigby were playing the game that was selected as they were pushing on the controls. It was fun when they were about to beat the high score that was played the last time as they were about to beat the final boss. Just as they were ready to beat the whole game, they saw the t.v. freeze as it later started to show some static. What was going on here? Mordecai and Rigby were stunned to see it like this as the t.v. screen showed a strange message that wasn't on any of the stations in the area, especially the park. There was also a familiar talking and walking birdhouse, who went by the name of Guilder, on screen as he meant business when he was ready to take over the park,... or perhaps the world!
"Listen closely," he said as he was sitting in an old 80's chair. "The world will be under my control and nothing will ever stop me, not even you, Mordecai and Rigby! You will never be playing video games again because I will be onto you like white on rice. The park that you work and slack off in has been the epicenter of strange things that occur. Be warned, Mordecai and Rigby, for I will be watching you!"
With that, the screen turned back into static as it later showed the video game that Mordecai and Rigby were playing. It also seemed that the game was over and they didn't beat the boss after all as the game went back to the start menu. Mordecai and Rigby didn't know what to think as they were left stunned while sitting on the couch. They also decided that they didn't want to play video games for the rest of the evening as they put away the game system and shoved it into the closet. The stern warning from the talking and walking birdcage had left them stunned for the whole night as they decided to go to bed. They still couldn't get the message out of their heads as they were still musing about the warning that appeared on screen during their video game.
"This is so not cool," said Mordecai.
"That guy sure has the guts to be on t.v.," said Rigby.
"I bet that he's got a lot of air time through public access."
"If this stuff keeps going on, we're not ever going to play video games again."
Mordecai stared at the ceiling as he thought about that warning from the birdhouse as he also had to be on his guard. This time, he wasn't really trying to slack off after that warning on t.v. As for that walking and talking birdhouse, he wasn't joking around as he was there to stay from the depths of the airwaves. There was no getting around it when the use of video games has officially been out of reach after the warning, but would it last?
###
The next morning, a DeLorean pulled up in front of the house as it was parked out in front. Even though it was daytime, the house in the park was a little bit too quiet as Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost were sitting on the porch. They had never expected a DeLorean to be here as it opened up with style. It wasn't long until a familiar technomancer came out of the car as he had a suspicious feeling of something that was about to happen in plain sight. It was none other than Techmo as he was on the move against something fierce. He noticed that Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost were not too happy with Mordecai and Rigby as they were about to ponder a prank on the horizon. The atmosphere in the park was starting to get dreary as Techmo was ready to find out what was going on around here.
"Long time, no see," he said.
"Tell me about it, bro," said Muscle Man as he was starting to get a little depressed. "Ever since last night, Mordecai and Rigby didn't touch a single video game while they went off and worked their shift. Even Benson's concerned."
"Wait, aren't those the slackers that mostly play video games?"
"Yep, and who else mostly plays video games? My Mom!"
"By the way, I'm here because of what's been going on here."
And so, Techmo walked inside of the house as he noticed that Benson was pacing in the living room. He always told Mordecai and Rigby to get back to work as he was concerned for what was going on in the park. All this morning, he noticed them being on task without slacking off as they did everything in the park. This wasn't the first time that this has happened as Benson remembered the park staff being under the control of Susan, who turned them into clones of herself. This was a repeat of what would happen if too much work would be done as it was also considered the last straw. Benson had to do something quick before Mordecai and Rigby become Susan clones all over again.
"What's the problem?" asked Skips as he walked inside of the house.
"It's Mordecai and Rigby," answered Benson. "They are working themselves to the bone, but this is ridiculous! Any minute now, they'll be turning into Susan clones."
"Don't tell me that they watched the subliminal message on t.v., did they?"
"Actually, they did," said Techmo. "This message actually is the work of one enemy that has a grudge against the park."
"Okay, who is it this time?" asked Benson.
"Have you guys heard of someone called Guilder? He was someone that I've been up against back in the day. He's definitely not a guy that can be bargained with so easily."
"What are you talking about?"
"Guilder wants to take over the world starting with the park and he got to Mordecai and Rigby just to keep them busy for all eternity."
"There's only one way to do it," said Skips as he pranced towards the closet and opened it up. "We're bringing out the games."
And so, Benson and Techmo sat on the couch as they saw Skips bring out the game system complete with some of the old-school games that went with it. With the console plugged in, it was time to get to work as it was turned on with the insertion of Dig Champs.The sound of 8-bit music filled the room as Benson and Techmo started to play at the game. They only hoped that the sound of old-school video games would bring Mordecai and Rigby to their senses as the sound of footsteps appeared inside of the house. It was Mordecai and Rigby as they were simply looking like Susan clones as they were about to do away with the game system. With the game console paused, Benson turned around as his worst fear had been realized the moment that the two slackers walked in. They were simply mindless as they even had the hairdo, clothes, and bodies to match of the woman who became a giant monster. Benson had to do something fast before any more people became like Susan as he was about to take matters into his own hands.
"Well, well," he said as he was staring at the Susan clones. "I guess that you did a lot in the park, didn't you?"
"You're supposed to get to work," said Mordecai.
"It is the way of Guilder," said Rigby.
"Hold it!" yelled Skips as he grabbed the Susan clones. "You guys aren't yourselves and Benson's concerned for your well-being."
"It's the way of Guilder," said Mordecai.
"Resistance is useless," said Rigby.
"I've had enough of this crap!" yelled Benson angrily. "For today, I want you two to sit down and play video games!"
"But we cannot do that because Guilder's watching us!" they said.
"Do it or you're fired!"
"You better do as your boss says," said Techmo. "We can override Guilder's control with the help of a little game of... Dig Champs!"
And so, Skips set down Mordecai and Rigby on the couch as they were handed the game controls. With the pressing of buttons happening, the two slackers were returning to normal as they were playing all over the place with the classic game console that they know so well. It was a miracle that Mordecai and Rigby returned to normal, but they were not out of the woods yet as they had to go up against the walking birdhouse who went by the name of Guilder.
"So, you guys are finally back among the living, aren't you?" said Techmo.
"What just happened?" asked Mordecai.
"You and Rigby were turned into Susan clones again, that's what happened," said Benson.
"Wait! We saw this birdhouse guy telling us that he was watching us," said Rigby.
"You mean Guilder?" said Techmo. "He's the guy that nearly warped your heads. I couldn't let him do the same to you guys like Susan did. Looks like that Guilder and Susan are made from the same cloth after all when it comes to too much productivity in the park. There's also word that our sworn enemy's most likely to be bent on world domination just like the GBF heads did."
"He's right about that one," said Skips.
Everyone agreed on this one as Mordecai and Rigby were ready to go up against Guilder. It may be a strange notion just to face a formidable foe like this, but they had to do it really quick if they want to get back to work, or perhaps slack off, at the park. It was war against the worst fiend since Garrett Bobby Ferguson and Garrett Bobby Ferguson, Jr. as things were about to get ugly. Everyone in the park had to be ready as they had to face off against Guilder.
###
Guilder was busy making short work of the people of the rival park as he was looking at the surveillance system that went on there. He had never seen anything so advanced before as he was even staring at Gene the park manager, who was tied up like a pretzel. He was ready to take over the world starting with the park next door. The message was clear that he was off to dominate the universe as he didn't have to deal with Mordecai and Rigby anymore..., or so he thought?
It wasn't long until he saw the two slackers were free from his subliminal message as they were in the park getting ready for battle. He was starting to get angry with them as he was bent on stopping them in their tracks once and for all. He had to do something as he was armed with a pair of rabbit ears from an old t.v. set. He couldn't let them have all the fun as he even spotted Techmo of all people in the park.
"So, my old nemesis has shown up," he said.
"You won't get away with this, I swear it," said Gene as he was still tied up.
"You should at least thank me for doing you a favor by destroying the park next door."
"This is insane! Yes, we and the park have a prank war every now and then, but do you have to destroy it?"
"You shut up! All along, I've been waiting for this moment to strike, but he got in the way."
"Who's 'he?'"
"It's that technomancer, Techmo! He's always been the nosiest person in the city. He's even taken out the Doomageddon Virus of all things evil. Oh-ho-ho, Techmo, you're days are numbered."
Guilder pulled no punches as he was about to hatch out his most evil plan yet. It was the time to strike as he was ready to put his plan into motion. The park next door was about to get a rude awakening as he was about to hatch out his plan to take over the world, but it consisted of a plot from a video game anyway.
###
Techmo was busy looking up stuff on the Internet as he was finding out what Guilder was doing. It wasn't long until he saw a dangerous plot that would change the park with such intensity as it consisted of a power struggle between good and evil. Even Skips was impressed to see Techmo at work as there was a plan that can outsmart Guilder. Somehow, it wasn't going to be easy as it was most likely to have a catch to it, regardless.
"Looks like Guilder's not going down that quick," said Skips.
"Nope, but the only way to defeat him is to awaken twelve sages," said Techmo.
"Twelve sages?"
"The twelve sages are the most powerful force that can counteract against Guilder's tyranny, but there's always a downside when there are twelve fiends lurking in the distance."
"That's bad. I guess that you have your work cut out for you, old friend."
"Well, I may have my work cut out for me, but I'm gonna need some help."
"I'll be your backup."
"Actually, Techmo's got some backup," said Benson as he walked into the computer room. "I'm sending Mordecai and Rigby to help him on this powerful quest. I can't afford losing the park and I can't get another lecture from Mr. Maellard, either. Anyway, shall we get on with the quest?"
And so, it was settled as Techmo had the help that he needed as he saw Mordecai and Rigby dressed up in silly Dungeons & Dragons costumes. It was one of the cheesiest requests that they ever got as they were there to aid Techmo any way they can. With the weaponry that consisted of video game jargon, they were off to find Guilder as they were ready to go up against him, but it wouldn't be easy.
"Well, dude, it's gonna be one of those days," said Mordecai.
"I wanted to play video games," said Rigby.
"Hey, Benson told us to help Techmo fight off this Guilder guy, so we won't lose the park."
"Guilder's not the guy that can be reasoned with so lightly," said Techmo. "I went up against him when your house was being built. There was also a power that was forbidden as he wanted it for himself. That power was dormant in the park the whole time in which Guilder tried to take for himself, but he was stopped by the power of the Twelve Sages. Everything was fine for now, but there would also be a time when Guilder would stop at nothing just to get what he wants."
"We're gonna be packing more than just bird seed," said Rigby.
"Guilder's gonna be one hen-pecked birdhouse," said Mordecai.
And so, the two slackers were off on a quest of a lifetime as they were ready to go up against Guilder. It was the battle between good and evil as it was there in the park once again. It was nothing else like it as the upcoming battle against such a dangerous for like this was just the beginning of the troubles that were about to occur in the park. Still, they had to do a lot of training first, but it would occur on another day, for Guilder would be waiting for them sooner or later. First, they had to follow Techmo to the rival park where Gene and his drones stood as they went inside to where the problems occurred. It was too quiet as all three had noticed that several park rangers were tied up with rope and toilet paper as they were no match for what took over the wooded area.
"Whoa," said Rigby. "I bet that these guys would never pull another Halloween prank again."
"This is Guilder's handiwork, alright," said Techmo.
"I bet that you and Guilder don't get along, do you?" said Mordecai.
"Nope, but according to my sensor keyboard earlier, he got let out of his prison by someone who got a little negligent with their duties here in this rival park. Whoever did it, has unleashed some terrible havoc here in this world."
"That's not cool, dude. If we're gonna go up against Guilder, then we have to save the rival park."
"Aren't these guys our enemies?" asked Rigby.
"We can't just leave them to that birdhouse. Anyway, we're gonna kick some tailfeathers."
"Now, that's what I call motivation," said Techmo.
And so, all three were in the rival park's epicenter as it had mostly tall trees all over. Mordecai, Rigby, and Techmo had to watch their backs on this mission as they were about to embark on a mission to put a stop to Guilder's evil plans once and for all. When they went towards the control center, they found Guilder as he had Gene tied up and dangling on a hook. The three warriors had to stop Guilder fast as they had to even go up against this dastardly foe.
"Game over, Guilder," said Techmo as he drew out his sword. "You're going down!"
"Long time, no see, Techmo," he said with an evil grin on his face. "Your friends may have escaped my mind control, but they will never escape the deadly claw machine!"
"What's with the claw machine?" cried Rigby.
"This doesn't look good, dude," said Mordecai as he saw a huge claw drop down from the ceiling.
And so, the two slackers and Techmo saw the claw machine at work as Guilder was working at the controls. It was too much for the trio as they were busy dodging that old contraption in the office of the rival park. Just when all hope was about to be lost, Rigby had a brilliant idea as it considered to be an old one indeed. He ran towards the claw machine as he did a little "hamboning" on it. The crude method of battle proved to be effective as the claw machine broke down and fell to the floor. Even Mordecai and Techmo had a hand in shutting down Guilder's surveillance machines as they deactivated it from the front and back. Anger swelled inside of Guilder as he was not going down so easily, for he escaped from the rival park until next time.
"You may have won, but the real battle is just beginning," he said as he vanished.
"What just happened?" asked Mordecai.
"We're in the battle of our lives," said Techmo.
"Oh, yeah; bring it on!" cried Rigby as he wanted to do some more hamboning.
"Dude, we saved the rival park, but that Guilder guy's not going down like anything that we've ever faced before," said Mordecai.
It was a slight victory for the slackers and Techmo, but Guilder was still out there planning his attacks on the park in the near future. With Gene and the rangers freed, everything was back to normal as Mordecai, Rigby, and Techmo returned to the park as they were about to face the wrath of Benson. As usual, he wasn't too happy with them as he noticed the damage to the rival park somewhere. Anyway, work was work when it came to Mordecai and Rigby being the park's top attraction, but their antics would have to wait for another day.
"So, what do you have to say for yourselves?" said Benson.
"We've got a huge problem on our hands," said Mordecai.
"And what problem is that?"
"It's a problem that won't go away," said Techmo. "Anyway, I've decided to hang around here for a while."
And so, the defense of the park was about to begin as the slackers were ready to face the battle of their lives, but they had to clean it up first. As for Techmo, however, he had a lot on his hands, but he wasn't alone, for he had the park staff on hand in his future battle against his worst enemy who would stop at nothing to dominate the world. Anyway, it had to wait as the park had to be picked up to such clean standards for now...
To be continued...