My Raging Paroxysms
Summary: Oneshot "When you walk on the edge, be prepared to fall, but also be prepared to save and be saved."
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
There is nothing but snow as I look at the ground.
I can't seem to look at the sky anymore, as the winds rush and the paroxysms of rage seem to swirl about me. This is the road I have been walking since childhood, but I still shiver at the sight of it. No one is standing around me. I can't see anything… why can't I see anything anymore?
I stop and look around, almost like I wasn't sure exactly where I was. The wind is beginning to become stronger; I can feel my jacket clutch tightly to my shirt as I look around, my goggles scarcely protecting me from the snow and elements.
"Where am I…?"
I look up as the darkness continues to shroud around me, the snow getting deeper. The silence is deafening, almost like the wind that is piercing my face and mouth is hollow. Stray snowflakes collect on my pants and shoes, as I look around, trying to find a way out.
There was a long silent pause, as if suddenly my life was a silent movie, my lips quivering but no sound emitting. Why can't I suddenly talk? Why can't I seem to see ahead of me?
I look around and then, like a beacon I see a light. I don't know where it will lead, but it is down the road I have always traveled, so I run.
My gloved hands seemed to have slipped out of my jacket and my hood flies back. I can't stop running, the light is growing dimmer.
The road is getting narrow, I can't stop running. My breath beats against the wind, puffs of life against the darkness. The light is running faster and I can't seem to keep up. I pick up my feet, running faster and just as I feel I am getting closer the light grows dimmer and farther away.
"Stop please!"
The silence is broken by my choking words. I can't help it. I cry out against the darkness, my head beginning to split with the silent insanity creepy within the deepest corners of my mind. My feet beat against the road, the road turning into a sidewalk as the light slowly brightens, seeming to answer my cry for help.
I run, harder and harder, trying as I might to reach it.
The road is dying, the snow is getting thicker and heavier. The wind picks up and I feel my body begin it's shut down. I don't want to stop for anything. I want to reach the light. I must reach the light!
"HELP ME! PLEASE!"
The light is right in front of me and I reach out, trying to grab at it as the gloves on my hand no longer protect my dying fingers. I am fighting the wind to let my cries be heard. My hair is billowing behind me, the feeling of the rushing overcoming my ears, as they slowly turn red against its harsh whispers.
The snow is to my knees and I can no longer run, but slowly jog, the light seeming to give me only the slightest of hope as I reach out for it again.
"PLEASE!" I scream, grabbing at the light but missing, falling into the snow.
My face is cold as it meets the snow, the road stopped ahead of me.
"P-Please…" I plead desperately to the darkness, the light slowly fading in the distance. I get up, blood seeping from my forehead.
"I… I…" I grab my head with a gloved hand, seeing the blood. I must have hit a rock. I look at the snow, the blood tainting its white blessings. I am stuck there, my hands freezing in the snow and my knees along with them.
"P-Please…" I can't stop it now. I'm crying, hard and fast, the blood and tears running together into the cold ground.
No one is listening.
No one hears my desperate screams and tears.
No one sees me in the snow.
Suddenly a strange sound comes from behind me. I turn my head slowly to see what it is, but there is nothing I can see anywhere close to me, but the sound of crunching boots and a creaking lantern call to my dying ears.
I suddenly get up, turning to the silent sound. The wind stops, seeming to have also straining to hear the sound of the creaking. The boots continue to come closer, but I can't seem to form words to call out to them.
Then, the light seems to come towards me.
"Hey… you shouldn't be out here alone…"
The voice was sweet and the lantern lit her face. She smiled at me as a soft snow fell down around us. She is holding the lantern with a gloved hand and her head wrapped in a shawl, her jacket clung tight closed with her other hand. She seemed prepared for the winter but untouched by the wind or snow. I stand and stare at her.
"I…I…"
"Come on… You can't be out here all alone… Everyone is waiting," she says, holding out a hand to me. I stare at it, dumbfounded by the thought of human contact. I don't know if I should remove my glove to know if she is real or not, but I have no time to think. She reaches out to me and smiles, taking my hand into her own.
I feel her warmth and suddenly everything melts as I stand in her presence. The lantern in her hand drops to the melted earth and her clothes have changed.
She is dressed in a white sundress, a hat covering her pale face. She smiled at me as the grass underneath my bare feet grow brightly, the sun burning high above me. I look around, our hands now holding onto each other by the skin.
"W-Where am I?" I ask, looking for the road I had been walking for so many years alone.
"You're with friends."
The word seems foreign to me, yet so familiar.
"Friends?" I repeat, confused as she squeezes my hands tenderly.
"Follow me…" she smiles again, turning toward a large open field, a large group of people gathered there, talking, laughing and seeming to be waiting for something. I stare into the vastness of the flowers and sunshine.
"Come… they're waiting," she says again, pulling on my arm, my feet seeming to know how to move while I stood in awe of the scene. The people then see us coming over the slight incline and begin to wave and laugh, all talking at once and when I am in full view of all of them.
"W-Who… are all of these people?" I asked, almost afraid of the reality in front of me a simple illusion. The young girl smiled and pulled me again.
"Come on, you just have to get over this hill and you are there," she said, pulling but suddenly I am stuck, my hand slipping from hers. She stops and turns to me.
"I… I can't move… I have to follow the road…" I say, looking behind me, the concrete road still behind me. She looks at the sky and shrugs.
"Do you think you don't deserve happiness?"
"I…" I honestly didn't know how to answer the question. I looked at the ground where my feet were buried within the wildflowers.
"The answer is not on the ground. It is ahead or behind you… decide, and then you can move on…"
She turned and began to run down the hill, the group cheering as she came among them, laughing and then looking up the incline at me. I stand stalk still, unsure of what to expect. I had been walking the road so long, I didn't know what to do. I heard their cries of joy, trying to beckon me, come, but the mysterious snow and wind drew me to the road, and as I stood at my crossroads I looked at the sun, its light overflowing onto the boundless land.
I didn't think as suddenly I started to run down the hill, the people cheering and laughing and just as I thought I would reach them, I sat up.
"Naruto? You fell asleep, didn't you?" came a voice, and I slowly look around. Shikamaru is at my side, glaring down at me.
"Come on, you dork, Ino and Sakura want to play some game, and Hinata is freaking out because she doesn't know where you are," he says, Chouji and Kiba standing a little further away, laughing at something between them. I look around, the shade of the tree seeming to have helped me into a lulled sleep. I look around at the large field, the trees bordering the field and everyone running around, laughing and playing some summertime game. Shikamaru shrugs, thinking I am just going to stay in my sitting position. Shino adjusts his glasses as he comes up the hill, Hinata following behind him.
"N-Naruto-kun? A-Are you not c-coming?" she asks, looking down at me. I didn't really know how to answer her, but I did stand up, though I don't know how I looked in the face. Her worried look melted away and she smiled at me.
"See, I knew you wouldn't want to miss out on tag! Come on!" Ino yelled, running up the hill to fetch everyone. I watched as Hinata and the others began to run down the side of the hill. I don't really know if I should join, but I couldn't help it, for in another minute I was being yelled at by everyone in the small valley, beckoning me to come down.
"Come on! It's no fun without you Naruto!" someone yells.
"Let's play!" another calls, the group cheering for my steps.
I don't know what I would have said if there was a road behind me, but that was the point. It was behind me.
I took a step and bolted down the side of the hill, the others gathering around me as I tumble into the grass, laughing loudly, and making an idiot of myself. I guess, it's a good thing they were laughing with me.
That's probably what Master Kakashi meant when he once told me that:
"When you walk on the edge, be prepared to fall, but also be prepared to save and be saved."
-Sound a little emo much? (I love that word "emo") I thought of this actually as a story for Shino, but I realized it was too deeply going to wrong way for him so I changed it to Naruto. Tell me what you think!
Invader Hog OUT!