Ten steps to De-Sueify a Mary Sue

Chapter 1- Naming your Sue

A/N: This is a, yes, very cliched, Mary Sue Parody. Instead of having a short and pointless story on bashing Ms. Mary Sue to a pulp, I will have the Harry Potter characters 'teach' you readers on how to make a Mary Sue a normal, pleasent OC. This isn't really meant to be taken seriously, so try not to flame me saying how stupid/pointless/cliched this topic is. Anyways, hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Characters, places, etc. in the Harry Potter universe is copyright JKR. If I was her, seriously, why would I be here? I'd be writing book seven if I was JKR! 'Ten Steps to De-Sueify a Mary Sue' actually came from an 'Avatar' story with the same title, whose author is Kigen, so the credit of the basic ideas of the main plotline goes to her. The style of her and my story will be different, but I will be looking at her story for ideas, but that doesn't mean I'll steal them though!

Ronald Weasley walks into a large classroom, wearing a black teachers robe over his normal clothes. Ron is trying to look 'professional', but truthfully, it's not working. He has a chalk board to his side, with many pieces of chalk.

"Hello, readers! I'm Ron, and I shall be teaching you about those dreaded Mary Sues that pollute the Harry Potter fandom." He attempts to clear his throat, but Ron ends up not doing it. He turns to the board, and writes on the chalk board 'Mary Sue'.

"There are probably many authors who write Sues, but may not even know it! That is why I am here, to help people know how to determine Sue from normal." Ron makes a fake enthusiastic gasp and makes a loud cheering sound. "

"Right now you might be asking: 'What is a Mary Sue?'" He picks up one of Hermione's really thick books, and flips to a page in the middle of the book. "A Mary Sue, sometimes shortened simply to Sue, is a pejorative term for a fictional character who is portrayed in an overly idealized way and lacks noteworthy flaws, or has unreasonably romanticized flaws. Characters labeled Mary Sues, as well as the stories they appear in, are generally seen as wish-fulfillment fantasies of the author. Basically, what that definition is saying that a Mary Sue is a perfect character, with little or no flaws, are beautiful to an seemingly unhealthy extent, and are usually what authors want themselves to be. Today, we shall be worrying about names."

Ron writes on the middle of the board:

"When naming your Sue, you should see how it is spelled. Stay away from the long, exotic or weird pronunciation/spelling of names. So I reccomend you name your Sue 'Stephanie', not 'Stefeney' or 'Steffannie'. Keep your names to the average first name, middle, and last name. If you have more than three names, like 'Elizabeth Stephanie Anne Marie Louise Clarise Smith Jones Davies', choose one first, middle and last name. With the names left over, you can make a whole new character! Also, you might want to think about the time period, which is the ninties. So nothing too weird, like Treanna, Martini or can name them that, but mind you they would really stick out, and possibly teased. If you have a weird name, make it within reason. Like Draco Malfoy," Ron shudders, melodrama oozing from his lanky frame, "has a weird name, if you think about it. But it makes sense, because Draco is Latin and also a constellation. So think of the meaning of the names too, when you choose them." He takes a breath, partially to let the information sink in and partially because he's been talking a lot lately.

"Also, think of the main characters. You don't want your character to sound too much like the main character, so no Harriet, Harold, Ronnie, Ronaldo, Hermina, and so on. I doubt you authors won't name the Sues with similar names to the main characters, so I better not worry about that."

Ron erases the board, making chalk dust in his haste.

"Who are you talking to, Ron?" Hermione asks, sticking her head into the room.

"Nobody, Hermione."

"Okay. Why are you wearing Professor Snape's robes? Wouldn't he want them back?" Ron immidiately throws the robes on the floor, and gags. Snape, all of a sudden, bellows:

"WEASLEY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY ROBES?" Hermione rolls her eyes, while Ron whimpers when Snape gives him a good telling off. As a result, he gets a month's worth of detention. There will be A LOT of work tonight helping Ron recover from the weirdness of wearing Snape's robes. On top of that, he landed himself into a profuse amount of detention and that situation would be fun.

This month will be fun...thinks Hermione, as Ron leaves the room with an angry Snape.

A/N: Ok, end chappie one. Reviews are greatly appriciated! Kinda short, I know, but most of the chapters will be fairly short, possibly as long or longer than this one. OOC-ness is partially intened, seeing as this is a parody. Anyways, until next chapter, its Nickyfox13, saying 'Later'!

EDIT (4-7-13): Upon looking back, this fic deserves a bunch of editing. It's good...but it's obvious that I was young and immature writing this fic. Any changes to content will be minor or will supplement content already available. Also, many spelling, punctuation, and grammar mistakes will be fixed as well. This is why revising is important. XD