The first time he saw her out wandering the streets was a bit jarring. She had always been a very secret part of his life, so seeing her outside in the crowd was odd. He wasn't going to follow her, bt his feet seemed to move of his own accord. He followed her silently as she took turn after turn, finally ending up in a cemetery. She kneeled in front of a gravestone that read Moran. It felt wrong to invade on such a private moment, but he couldn't get himself to move as she broke down. He could hear her trembling voice through the crisp autumn air.
"I'm sorry, Mum. I know you'd be ashamed of what I've become. Dad would be too. I started out alright. Joined the war. Proved I could handle myself. I took care of my mates. I had the boys' backs. But then the war was over and I got bored. I wasn't sure what to do with myself, Mum. He helped me. I knew he was trouble, but, well, I couldn't stay away. Like you always said, my head rolled away with the wind. I was doing wrong, and I knew it, but I was doing something."
She paused, and for a moment he thought maybe she had discovered him. But after a moment and a few deep breaths she continued.
"He's dead now, the bad man. You were right about good winning out. I found a good man, Mum. I'm not sure how he feels about me, but I'm quite fond of him. He takes care of me. He keeps me grounded. He sweet and strong like Daddy always was. I'm grateful for him. Heaven knows a sinner like me doesn't deserve an angel."
Her voice cracked as her sobs strengthened. She kept her composure just enough to continue her whimpering confession. John ached with the urge to go to her, but his feet wouldn't budge.
"I'm so sorry, Mum. I'm trying. I'm trying to find the way out. I'm sorry I took so long to visit, but I was so ashamed. You deserved a better daughter. I'm sorry, Mum. I love you."
With that she dissolved into shoulder-wracking sobs. John pressed through the invisible wall separating them, joining her on the ground, wrapping her up against his chest. She jumped, then settled into his arms.
"What are you doing here," she questioned between broken sobs.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to follow you and I didn't mean to listen in. We can pretend this never happened, yeah?" He brushed the tears out of her eyes with his thumb, kissing the blond hair plastered to her forehead. She nodded against his lips, curling tighter against his chest. He held her until the sobs stopped and she pulled away, peering up at him.
"Thank you."
He nodded, closing his eyes as she kissed his cheek softly. He kept them closed as her warmth disappeared. She faded like she always did, like a dream he was never quite sure he had. When he opened his eyes again he was alone, but he was smiling softly.