a random plot bunny that just attacked me earlier this evening, tell me if you want me to continue.
excuse all mistakes and confusing sentences. It had not been beta readed.
"Reid?"Emily's voice asks behind me.
I jump and almost drop my coffee mug. 'Whats Emily doing here?! Its Christmas Eve and this is my apartment!'
"H-How did you get in?" I ask as I try to recover from the shock.
"You're the type to have a key hidden."She says with a smile. The smile fades though and she turns away from me. Her voice is an octave higher when she speaks.
"So hows life?"She asks. 'Is she about to cry?! I don't know what to do. What do I say?'
"Its good." I try to keep my tone light. I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I'm wondering why she came to me, of all people, on Christmas Eve while shes nearly in tears. I'm just completely confused by the logic of it all. 'What logic?'
She quickly turns to me with tears forming in her eyes.
"Reid, have you ever loved someone so much, that you would give them anything and everything if they asked?"She asked in a heart broken whisper.
"Yes."I answer. The word Spence runs through my head. 'Stop thinking about her. Shes married. You had your chance and you blew it!'
"What do you do?"She wipes a tear away from her eye.
"I ignored my feelings,"I said,"and I regret it to this day."
I wasn't lying. I truly wished I had spoken before she had married him.
Emily starts to laugh.
"Whats funny?"I ask even though I really don't care. Now that I've thought of her, I can't get her out of my head. All I can picture is her fingers running over and over again through my hair as she talks softly.
"Us, me. Sitting here on Christmas Eve."She calls my attention back to the real world. In a way it is funny. Two hopeless FBI agents sitting in one's apartment on Christmas Eve while they both wallow in their self pity.
A feeling comes over me, one I haven't felt in a long time. I feel like there's going to be a tomorrow, like something will go right tomorrow, and I can be around JJ and feel hurt. Like maybe I'll be okay. Like maybe I won't argue with myself on whether or not to use again. Like maybe I won't tempt myself with a drug just to get a fake rush even though its nothing compared to Dilaudid. Maybe you can make it for six more months without it. Like maybe you can make it for two years without the tip of needle breaking your skin.