The boy was lying on his back, awaking after hearing the door slam shut. He knew his father was once again gone and now, he was alone with his baby brother. What would he say to Sammy when the boy would inevitably ask where their dad was? Dean sighed, he pressed his baby brother's body closer against him, and sang "hey jude" softly in his ears. Maybe like this, Sammy would keep some memories of their mother.
"You know she loved you. Dad loves you, and I love you too. I will keep you safe baby, Always." he whispered drifting slowly back to sleep.
-
Sam was now 14 years old, once again a new face in a new school in some random new town. Their dad was gone for a new hunt since a few day. He had left them a bit of money but Dean still found a little job to make sure they wouldn't be in need at some point. Who knew how long their Dad would be gone this time? He worked at a garage next to Sam's school, it was his first day, but it was easy, he knew his way around cars and the boss and clients were nice, some of them even gave him some extra tips for his work and he was pretty happy about it. His boss had let him go early today, it wasn't 12 pm yet, so he got into the impala and drove to the school, deciding to wait and surprise Sam.
"Hey, Sam" he yelled when he saw the boy coming out of the building "You want to come with me for lunch ?"
Sam's face lit up at the view of his brother, and ran up to the car a big smile full of dimples on his face.
"Dean !" the boy said "I thought you worked until 4pm today ! »
"It's ok baby boy, my boss let me go early, said I did enough work for today. Where do you want to eat ?"
"I..." Sam turned his head, his attention getting caught by a group of boys passing nearby before continuing his sentence "I don't care, you can choose as long as I can eat a salad "
Sam got in the car, throwing his bag on the the back sit without looking. He yawned and stretched in the cramped space of the front seat and tried to get as comfortable as he could to get a little bit of rest. Sam had gained a few inches the past few months, he still had some troubles adjusting and so was really clumsy lately. Dean watched him close his eyes and smiled, putting the car in gear.
"How was your first day here ?"
"It could have been worse" Sam sighed "The english teacher asked us about our projects for Mother's day, seeing it's sunday. Apparently, she hadn't read my file before asking because she asked me and... I had to told her our mom died in a fire when I was a baby..." He rolled his eyes and turned to look at him. "She started to ramble appologies on appologies, it was really embarassing, so I put her out of her misery by telling her our tradition"
"You did ?" Dean said laughing a little at his little brother.
"Dean, it's not funny, it was really awkward. Now everyone think I see of you as my mother. Why did we have to create this stupid tradition to give each other gifts for Mother's day already?"
"Come on, Sammy. I know you'd Love to call me mom..."
"Haha very funny, Dean...You know what ? Bite me "
"Shut up, bitch"
"Jerk" Sam smiled.
Dean stopped the impala and got out of the car quickly. He went next to the passenger's door and opened it for Sam. Sam rolled his eyes at him.
"Dean, you know I can open the door by myself"
"Really? You can ? I wouldn't say that, clumsy boy " He smirked.
"Haha, I'm not clumsy." He answered stepping out of the car, twisting his ankle in the process and falling right in Dean's arms.
"You're ok, Baby ?" Dean mocked.
"I hate you"
Sam steadied himself taking leverage on Dean's shoulders, shoving him hard and making him fall on the floor. Sam laughed at him and ran to the restaurant's doors. He looked over his shoulder to watch him getting back up from the ground.
"So Dean, you're coming or what ?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming to save you princess, I know you can't go anywhere without me, you need me to save your ass everytime."
They entered in the restaurant still bickering. The place wasn't big but a lot nicer than most of the places they usually ate with their father. When it was only the both of them, Sam liked to cook, but today, Dean wanted to take Sam out in a good place even if Sam only wanted a salad to eat. He was lost in his thought when the young waitress came to them, her eyes zeroing on him and completely ignoring his brother.
"Can I do something for you, Cutie ?"
"We'd like a table for 2 please."
Dean smiled before turning to Sam. His smile faded a little when he saw the hurt look on his brother's eyes.
"Don't worry Sammy. One day, girls will be after you too, when I'll be old and ugly, if that only happens someday..."
"Fuck you, Dean." Sam sighed
"You wish, bitch"
The girl showed them to their table, her attention still completely focused on him. He could see Sam glaring at her from the corner of his eyes. He seemed to be pretty pissed.
Dean sat down on his chair brushing the girl's arm with his fingertips thanking her with a sweet smile on his face.
"I...I'll back in a few minutes to take your order" She said blushing.
"What if I want you ?" Dean said to the girl making her blush even harder if possible.
Sam cleared his throat.
"No need, I'll take a Salad, the chief's one and he'll take a bacon buger, thanks" He said sharply.
The girl left glaring at him while Sam gave her his sweetest and fakest smile Dean had ever seen. He wasn't usually speaking like this to other people. Dean couldn't understand the reason behind his behavior, it wasn't like it was the first time he seduced a girl in front of him and he never had trouble with it before or if he had, he never showed it.
"Dude, did you just cockblock me ? "
"Because I, of all people would be able to do that ? » Sam asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at him. «Seriously Dean, why did you drag me in the middle of the day, in a restaurant if it was to try to put some random girl in your bed? That's not like you need me for that and it would have been way more easier without me around. "
"Wow. It's not because I take you out for lunch that I can't leave you to fuck with a girl, Sammy. You know, you should try to have fun too. Maybe you wouldn't be a such pain in the ass..."
Sam looked at him sharply. He knew his brother wanted to say something, but instead, he just got up and walked to the door without glancing back.
"Sam, come back here! I swear I won't come after you if..."
"Go to hell, Dean!"
Dean watched Sam leave the restaurant. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He knew it was better to let his brother go without following him, to let him cool down. It would only make things worse if he tried to push the topic and pry some answers from Sam when he was in such a state. It seemed like the only thing that they did lately was to fight. But Sam was a teenager now, so he guessed it was only normal.
"Are you ok ?"
The girl had come back to the table putting their orders on it without him noticing and was now looking at him seeming a bit concerned.
"Yeah sorry, I'm ok, it's nothing. It happens often lately" He sighed
"Well, I just finished my work..." she said blushing "Maybe I could lift up your mood a little bit if you don't mind the company, we could go out together, go for a drink maybe... I mean, he's not your lover, right ? Because if so, I'm sorry, forget i've even asked. "
Dean frowned and looked at her.
"No, he's my little brother."
"No offense,but, he's really rude to you. He should take some lesson in politeness from you. Have your parents ever taught him anything ?"
Dean felt the anger rise in him suddenly. He got up quickly looking at her like she was the worse person he'd ever seen.
"I'm the one who raised him, bitch ! My brother is the most polite person of all the persons around me. Don't you dare to judge him when you know nothing about him."
He slammed money on the table and stormed out of the restaurant. He went to his car, sat on the driver's sit and stayed there for a few minutes breathing deeply to try to calm down before starting the car. When he finally managed to reign in his temper, he drove to the gun shop, deciding now would be a perfect opportunity to go buy his gift for Sam without him around.
He couldn't wait to see Sam's reaction when he'd see the gun. They saw the it a few days before when they went to buy some ammunation with their father. The vendor told them it was sold as a pair, a carved colt M1911A1 with an ivoir grip on the cross and a taurus PT92 with a pearl grip on the cross, when he saw them looking at the guns. Sam had loved the taurus while Dean had prefered the colt. He wanted to buy both guns but their father wouldn't help him and he didn't have enough money yet. So he asked for the Taurus only.
He pulled the car next to the shop and went in. It was a small, miserable looking shop, but their father came here because the clerck knew about the hunting buisness and he trusted him, which was perfect because there was no way he'd be able to buy a gun on his own without any trouble otherwise.
"Hello, I'm coming for the Taurus..." He looked at the man smiling at him from behind the counter and sighed "Actually, I made some extra tips and I'll surely have even more this week, so I was thinking that maybe I could buy the colt too. I mean, if I bring you the money at the end of the week, could you put it aside for me?"
The man looked at Dean and grimaced a bit.
"I'm really sorry kid, I sold it. The guy just wanted the colt so, as you'd already put dibs on the Taurus, I said yes to him... I'm sorry."
"Oh..." To say Dean was disappointed was an understatement "It's ok, as long as I can buy the Taurus. Can I see it, please ?"
"Sure, over here. " He handed him a black leather box that he opened delicately.
"Did you carved what I wanted ?"
"Of course, a little SW on the left side of the grip and a little DW on the right side of the grip, that's it ?" The man said showing the little carvings on the cross of the gun in his hand.
"Awesome! Thank you so much."
Dean smiled, put the gun back in the box and closed it softly. He couldn't hide his happiness imagining Sam's reaction to his gift.
"Really thank you very much for this, Sir"
"My pleasure, always a pleasure to help a Winchester." The guy smiled "I know you told me it was for your father, but it's for the little Sam, isn't it ? "
Dean nodded slowly, a little burst of panic rising in him.
"You won't tell to him? Or to my father ?"
"It's ok, don't worry, boy. Your secret is safe with me."
Dean paid the man and got out of the shop. It was still early and he didn't feel like going back to the motel right away, so he started the car and headed for the bar a few blocks away from there.
-
It was 3pm the next day and Dean was still working.£ He didn't mind the workload, it kept him occupied and it brought money. Dean came back late the night before and Sam had left a note on the table for him before he went to sleep to tell him he would be at school until 3:30pm for a group project. Dean would finish working 10 minutes before his brother got out of school, he'd have time to pick him up.
"Dean ? "
"Yes, Sir ?"
"You can go, your day's finished. Oh, and I know you only started yesterday but you have the week-end off, so I don't want to see you around, kid !"
Dean smiled gratefully to his boss.
"I sure won't be here, Sir. I have some plan with my little brother. Thanks."
"Have fun, Dean"
He left the garage. The Impala was parked in the school's parking lot, so he walked to Sam's school. He headed towards the entrance and spotted Sam in the crowd. He was talking with a beautiful girl with long curly brown hair, she looked at his brother hungrily, like she just wanted to kiss him or go down on her knees right in front of everyone. Dean felt his blood boil under his skin. He wanted to grab him and bring him back to their motel room. The girl spotted him and stepped back a little. She made a little gesture in his direction, Sam turned to see what she was showing him and smiled when he saw it was Dean. He turned back to her and leaned in a little to whisper something in her ear before hugging her and jogging toward Dean.
"Hey Dean" Sam said softly when he was next to him. "I missed you today, I... Sorry for yesterday..."
Dean looked down at his brother, assessing him.
"Sure...You really seem sorry about that, but I don't think you really missed me..." He turned his back to Sam avoiding the look on his face."So, you're having fun with that girl who hugged you? That's why you had to stay at school longer? I've never had that kind of " group project". I'd have stayed way longer in school otherwise..."
"What ? You mean Nat ? It's not like that. She helped me out with..." Sam frowned and grabbed Dean's leather jacket. "Dean..." He said hesitantly, biting his lower lip. " Can I ask you something ? "
"What? Do you need help to get her in your bed? Just ask her out, you could have her just by snapping your fingers"
Sam sighed apperently annoyed by Dean's reaction, he started to walk toward the car, opened the trunk, threw his bag in and slamed it shut with more force than necessary.
"What did you want to ask?" Dean said "And there's someone who's apparently looking for you over there."
His brother sat on the trunk, and turn to look at the guy who was looking at him, he frowned and Dean couldn't describe the look on his brother's face then, it was like a mix of disgust and confusion.
"Who is he ?"
"Ryan...He's a..." Sam sighed again "He kissed me and..."
Dean blood ran cold, he felt the anger take over him again. He let out a slow breath to try to calm himself before asking grinding his teeth.
"And what? You love him and you want to leave with him ?"
"What no! What are you talking about ?" Sam eyes were wide opened, anger and confusion making him shake.
"You know what ? I don't even want to speak to you. I don't even want to see you. You're still a jerk!"
"Sammy, that's enough... I'm sorry, ok ?"
"No you're not...I just want to have some time for myself, just go wherever you want to go and leave me alone, I'll be back at the motel before 6pm anyway..."
"Sam..."
"No, just... Go please..."
Dean got in the car and left the parking lot making the tires screech on the asphalt. He felt stupid to react like that over Sam's... Friends. His brother was bi, Sam had told him a long time ago now. But the problem was, Dean felt more than brotherly love for Sam for a long time now. He knew it was wrong, that's why he's always went out with a lot of women, trying to drown his desire for his brother in other people's arms. But he's never been able to supress his feelings for Sam. It was a lost cause.
-
When Dean came back to the motel room it was 7pm, he knocked on the door, unable to find his keys but nobody answered. He finally found them in one of the grocerie's bags and opened the door. Everything was dark in the room, Sam was probably asleep already. He went in the kitchen and put the bags on the counter. He switched on the light and turned to look at the beds.
"Sam..."
Sam's bed was empty... Dean's eyes flew wide open. He felt the panic take hold of him, if his brother wasn't here by now, it was probably because he was in trouble. Sam would never leave or come back late without telling him, even if he was angry with him at the moment. Sam had told him he would be here by 6pm... Where was he? His mind was running a mile minute, going in all the directions possible. He grabbed his keys and the gun hidden under his pillow. The panic and anger making him shake. He punched the wall before getting out of the room, leaving a hole in the shape of his fist in the cheep material.
"If someone hurt him I'm gonna kill them!" he said angrily to no one storming to his car.
-
After half an hour, Dean finally found Sam and his blood ran cold in his veins at the sight before him. He wasn't alone. His brother was in a dark alley, on his knees in front of five guys surrounding him. One of the guys had a fistful of hair in his hand, yanking his head back and a knife pressed against his throat. Sam seemed completely panicked, tears were rolling down his face. His lips were swollen and red, he had come dripping down his chin and on his shirt. The guys around him were laughing, like nothing was wrong in the picture, like what they were doing was nothing but passing time between friends. Dean walked straight behind the guy who was holding Sam and heard what he was waying the closer he got.
"So, is it good ?" One of the guys asked.
"See, it would have been so much better for your if you've just kissed me back. You can't walk around with a mouth like yours without it being used... And you know what now? You've forced us to do put some sense into you so we can't let you go around freely, we'll have to slice your throat... After all, that's not like someone's gonna miss you. "
"Fuck you!"
Sam voice was full of fear and broken, Dean couldn't stand to hear him sound like that, it was his fault if Sam was here, if he had listened to him and stopped being jealous, Sam would never have left, they would be together watching a movie in their motel room right now. But instead, Sam was half naked in a dark alley, abused an broken. Dean pressed his gun against the guy who was holding Sam.
"Don't even try anything, you'll be dead before you bat an eye." Dean said in a loud growl "Let him go, now! "
"And what are you going to do? If you make a move, I can slice his throat !"
"Dean...don't" Sam sobbed.
"Oh really? You want to try and see who'll be the first to end on the floor?"
Dean's voice was so cold and menacing that the guy let go of Sam, letting him fall on the floor in a heap. He watched his little brother crawl behind his legs and curl in a tight ball on himself. His boby was completely glued to Dean's legs. He still had his gun pointed to the guys now in front of him. He was really tempted to kill them one by one, to make them suffer. They had hurt his brother, his baby brother... They all backed to the wall when he unlocked the gun's safety, they were terrified, their eyes round and locked on the gun steadily aimed at them.
"Please don't kill us, we won't touch him again, we swear" One of them pleaded in a faint trembling voice.
"What the fuck did you just say, you freaking asshole?! You've just raped someone and not only someone, but my brother! And you'd want to me to let you leave... Or even live ?! I..."
Dean stopped talking when he felt Sam squeezing his ankle with shaking hands.
"I want to go home...Dean, please." He whispered...
"Get THE FUCK OUT OF HERE ! If I ever see you again I'll fucking kill you! So slow that you'll beg me to just shoot you ! "
The guys didn't wait or hesitated, they ran away as fast as they can, without a look behind them. Dean let his gun fall on the floor with a loud noise, he took off his jacket and put it on Sam's shaking body, he was frightened and didn't met his eyes. Dean kneeled next to him and put his arms around his baby brother.
"Sammy...I"
"I tried to fight them, Dean. I swear I tried to, but he put his knife against my throat and he wasn't alone and I didn't want to die... I didn't want to loose you...I'm sorry, Dean, I'm so weak..."
His voice broke on a sob, his face falling against Dean's shoulder, his grip tight on his shirt. Dean grabbed Sam's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes.
"Don't even dare to appologize. Don't even dare think you're weak, Sammy! You're one of the strongest people I know. Those guys were sick, they didn't deserved to walk away like that ! I should have kill them on the spot, I should have rip them apart !"
"Don't look at me, Dean...Please, I'm dirty... I..." He said in a sob.
He ducked his head until his face was burried in the crook of Dean's neck.
"Sammy..."
Dean took Sam's back bag which was lying on the floor next to them and opened it. Sam always kept some tissues in there. He grabbed one with his free hand and kept holding his brother and passing his hands through his hair soothingly until the sobs subsided and he stopped crying. He passed his finger along Sam's jaw.
"Hey baby boy, look at me, we have to wipe this little face of yours. Would you do that for me ? Please "
Dean asked in a soft voice and smiled when his brother finally looked at him. He ran his thumbs under Sam's eyes, wipping his tears away and then wipped the come from his chin with the tissue. He helped him up and put his arm around him, not wanting to let him go. Sam wasn't shaking anymore but he closed himself into a dead silence. He let Dean lead him to the impala like a puppet with its strings cut. He sat him on the backseat, his hand lingering on his brother hair when he looked at him curling once again in a tight ball.
"Sammy...I want to give you something. I wanted to give it to you sunday, but... Don't move please"
He turned around the impala and went to the trunk. He took the leather box he had hidden the day before and went back to Sam.
"I hope you'll like it, I really wanted you to have it, and you could carry it with you..."
He opened the box in front of Sam and saw his eyes widen. Sam raised his hand and let his fingertips slide along the steel of the gun. Without saying anything, he took the box from Dean's hands and set it down next to him. Dean felt his heart break in pieces, he stepped back biting his lower lip.
"I..." Dean started to say.
Sam caught his wrist in his hand.
"Dean wait! Would you just wait please, I want to give you something too... But...I can't anymore Dean, I can't anymore ! I'm so afraid, I love you so much, Dean. I want you ,I want you so much but... Now It's all fucked up ! I'm not good enough for you..."
"Sam that's enough, stop that. Take the gun now, take it."
Sam held the gun in his hands. He watched it carefully until he saw the carvings on the cross, a soft look passing on his face, he turned the gun in his hands. He blinked several times as if to hold back his tears.
"Do you know why I asked for those carving ? I was afraid to see you leave with someone else, every brother end up by leaving the familial circle on day... With that, it would be like I was with you even if we wouldn't be together and... I'm so stupid." He said when he saw Sam lower his head.
"No Dean, you're not stupid, I love it. I love it so much." Sam said in a whisper. "I love you... I don't want to leave you.I'll never leave you. "
Sam let the gun fall on his leg and yanked Dean's shirt, making him loose his balance. He slammed his mouth against Dean's so hard that their teeth clanked. Dean parted his lips letting Sam slip his tongue in his mouth. He sucked on his tongue hungrily until his bother's moaned in his mouth. He pulled away slightly, biting Sam's lower lip softly. When the kiss ended, they were both panting in the fresh air of the night.
"Thanks you so much, Dean"
Dean cleared his throat, trying to regain some composure.
"Sam where did you learn to kiss like that ?"
Sam raised an eyebrow and put his arms around Dean's neck.
"Can I give your present now too ?"
Dean nodded and watched Sam take out a leather box from his bag, he was blushing...
"You'll think it's stupid but... I saw you loved this one, and when I learned that someone had bought the other one, I didn't want anyone else to have the colt so... "
Dean took the gun out of the box and pressed it against flat against his heart.
"Thank you, Sammy. I love it, and I love you "
Sam lied down on the backseat and pulled Dean on top of him.
"Jerk ... "
" Bitch"
Dean held his brother into his arm, kissing him and stroking his hair until the boy fell asleep.
"I love you so much baby boy" Dean said softly against Sam's skin "I promise, Sammy. I'll keep you safe, you're mine. It's my job to protect you, you know ?"
He smilled at his sleepy baby brother, Dean knew the next days wouldn't be easy for Sam... But he would take care of him, do everything in his power to help him go through this. Sam wouldn't put a foot in that school anymore. Tomorrow, they'll go in an other town, and find a new school for Sam. He'll call their father and tell him the school wasn't safe for Sam and he won't question it. Sam won't like to have to move again so soon but Dean wouldn't let those guys put their hands on his baby brother once again. Sam was his..