THE A TEAM.

A/U: SET TEN YEARS AFTER EDWARD LEAVES. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO BELLA. BASED ON THE SONG 'A TEAM' BY ED SHEERAN. Enjoy.

-REALITYKILLEDME

I laid on the bench remembering my love that had once been. And had been snatched so cruelly from so long ago now. I breathed in a lung full of icy cold air. It burnt my lungs setting them on fire. In my mouth I could taste sadness, despair and bitterness.

How many years had it been? Oh yes. 10. Although it felt like 50 I couldn't recall where the days had gone just fluttering by in a blurry haze of light and dark.

I walked through the park with my sleeping bag and jacket wrapped tightly around me to keep out the cold. It didn't work though. My face was still ghostly white and my lips rosy red from the cold. My face was bony, my eyes sunken with a desperate look about them.

I had slept here last night dreaming of my pale god like man coming and saving me. It would never happen though. I had a flat but I could barley afford to live there so I slept on the streets most nights to get away from the angry landlord coming round to get his rent. I never had it.

I walked toward the city centre to my job handing out leaflets in the street. As I walked I thought about my life. Who choose to give me all the bad luck to give me the worst life ever. Oh well what could do. Were all under the upper hand so all the worst things come free. Free wrapped in bow.

My life was a battle now. Battle against the bitter cold. Battle against the tide. The tide to which I was constantly swimming against.

The cold was worse now. I pulled my ripped gloves further up wrists and my jacket tighter against me but the harshness of the wind still crept into bones. In the pocket of jacket the change jingled and the few bank notes crunched as I walked. My throat was so dry it was almost like a ball of fire but I couldn't afford to buy a drink. I wish I had someone to talk to but in this city I knew no-one and had no phone to call anyone either. I felt like crying but held the tears back because I knew in a few hours everything would ok.

I got up and walked to a public toilet. There I took my coat off and fixed by camisole top so it looked decent. I then pulled my skirt around so it looked like an outfit. In the mirror I saw a dreary girl. A desperate dreary girl this girl needed to go and become attractive so I wiped the smudge makeup from under my eyes and applied fresh mascara, eyeliner and lipstick the brushed my hair back. It was late now but I knew the place I needed to go so I quietly walked there leaving my sleeping back in the toilet.

Once I got there I hung around for a while then after a while a man drove up. I walked over to him and discussed prices. Once we reached an agreement I got in the car and he drove me to his apartment.

He was rich. I new that much but he was old. Oh well I needed the money. He led me to the bedroom. I started kissing him then pushed him down on the bed and kneeled behind him. Kissing down his jaw I ran my hands down his chest through his open shirt. Whilst doing this I took the money from his pocket. After that I don't remember. I went to auto pilot and after he fell asleep and lay there letting the tears fall freely.

Sometime later I got up and went to visit the man I needed. I gave him money and he gave me my drugs. Tonight I would go home. And so did and no one noticed me. So I lit the stove and lit candles. I rolled up some paper and put the drugs inside. I lit it then like a cigarette. I put it too my mouth and inhaled deeply. I was free.

I finished and went back to the small pocket with the white powder and made my self another. Again I inhaled my much needed drug.

I was flying. Flying so high and my love was with me and I was fine and I was happy. I was not a sad, pathetic twenty eight year old washed up prostitute but eighteen and love. But then I dropped and my love was no longer with me and the tears started coming again and then blackness washed over me.

I had spent ten years hoping for a better life so I welcomed it and fell backward where I was with my love again.

Forever.