Friday Nights
I don't know how I ended up on your doorstep. And I don't really want to think about it. You open the door as you look at me with that same blank expression plastered on your face and you let me in your house. I don't try to talk to you because that would remind me of why I'm here and I've really been trying to forget about that.
You lean in close to me and I kiss you roughly as your coarse lips move rhythmically with mine. And I can't help but wish they were softer, but you know that. I can feel it. You lead me up to your room and somehow our clothes are scattered beneath the floor. Your moans linger throughout the room, as I lay here quiet. I can't feel anything. Your breathing slows down and I turn around so that I'm facing the wall. I don't want to see your face, because I know that if I see it, I'll know that you aren't really her.
"I love you Eli." Your voice sings to the still air as your warm breath radiates over my neck, leaving goose bumps down my spine. "I love you Clare." I whisper. And even in the blackness of the night, I can see your face drop in a way that makes me hate the dark. And you don't say anything back, because there's nothing you can do to change my mind. And it's not even your fault. Because somehow on these Friday nights, when I'm feeling lonely, you're always there with those big brown eyes waiting for me to steal your happiness away.
And it's just that easy. But, you didn't ask for this. And neither did I. But if anyone is at fault, it's you. I was minding my business when you appeared at the party with that jean jacket on that reminded me so much of hers. You reminded me so much of her and as much as it hurts me to admit it, I wouldn't have it any other way. You're the closest thing I have to her. But your pretty brown eyes aren't enough anymore. "I love you." I say and you pretend I'm talking to you because that's all you can do. And I pretend like I really am talking to you because I know I at least owe you that.
You snuggle close to me as I wrap my arm around your waist and I don't fight it because your body is warm and I haven't felt a warm body close to mine in a while. I inhale your floral scent and I can't help but think of how her hair always smelt like apples. And I try not to think about it because then I would start to feel like a bad person. And I know you know that I don't love you. But I can't say that I wouldn't do it all over again, because I would. You had a lot to give and I was prepared to take it all.
Hey Guys!. Sorry I haven't updated in a while! OMG! Degrassi is in 1 day and I am losing my mind!..lol Please review and tell me what you think! Just my thoughts on Eli and Imogen!