This Is Love
I stood with a gun to my head. 'If that's what she wants. Fine,' I said to myself as I felt a tear slowly go down my cheek. The last tear I would ever shed. "I'm…I'm too… awesome to cry." I said to myself again, the only one listening were the trees around me. I put my finger on the trigger, trying not to hold back. 'I'm in the woods with a gun to my head' it ran through my mind over and over again. "I'm useless, unloved by anyone, and going to die alone." I repeated after her, the painful words that cut too deep in.
My finger was on the trigger of a gun that was to my head. I knew that I was going to die. I then heard a rustling in the bushes from afar. Then a faint voice called my name. It sound like who ever was there was calling me. I took the gun from my head, but it still in hand. The rustling got louder and so did my name. The voice got clearer as well. It sounded like screaming.
I couldn't move. It was too painful. The voice calling me was her. 'What did she want?' I asked myself. The rustling got louder and louder. She was getting closer and closer. I held up the gun again ready to this over with. I didn't want to be criticized again.
She came through the bushes with a face of terror. She ran to me out of breath, rd eyed, and crying hard. Tackling me she half yelled, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she was crying very hard, like if she had just seen her entire family blow up. After all she said before, she's sorry? Her face was hiding in my chest, staining it with tears. Her arms wrapped around me, planning to never to let go. I curved my arms around her, holding her close. My eyes filled with tears. My heart filled with love.
She picked her head up and pleaded, "I didn't mean it. Don't leave me. I love you!" I froze. 'She loves me?' I asked. She buried her face in my chest again. Tears went down my cheeks and hit her head. "Not awesome. I… can't cry…" I said. She looked up and barely smiled; "I love you." Her face went sad again, "I will always love you. I didn't mean what I said. You're my life. That other guy is useless, abusive, and unloving. You're special. I can't live with out you" her eyes were producing more tears, which came out shortly.
She fell to her knees and started crying again, her dress forming a perfect circle around her. I crossed the line between us and knelt down beside her. I pulled her close hoping she'll hug back. When she didn't I pulled her in my lap. Holding her close, hoping not to let go, I whispered softly in her ear, "I love you"
I went back into the woods a week later. The familiar scene brought back the memories. I took out my pocket knife to do what I need to do. I held it up at the height of my neck. I pressed the knife against the tree I had chosen that night. I carved 'awesome' in it. Duh, that's what I was! Then, after I laughed to myself, I carved 'G+E 4ever' in a heart.
"Gilbert? Are you there?" my brown haired angel called. I put the knife in my pocket and called, "Coming!"
It's us forever.
Gilbert and Elizabetha forever.
Sounds awesome, right?"