Just This Once
"It was just..."
He had always enfolded the pain; accepting it and tucking it away so no one could see it. No one needed to see it. He wore a mask, literally, the mask of Zero. But now for this one moment, only this once... just—
He was suffocating.
Euphemia...
It hurt. It hurt so much.
And he closed his welling eyes, leaning further into the tender embrace. It was kindness, comfort, warmth... It was...
"Are you sad?"
He opened his eyes again, the floor beneath him distorted through the tears, and the tremble from his hands spread to his whole body. He had no control over it; or rather, perhaps he was letting go of the iron hold, willingly. Letting the control slip through his fingers, for this instant, shattering the mask he always put on so firmly.
Only for this moment, just this once...
So he let the tears come voluntarily, or maybe, perhaps, he had no other choice than to succumb to them.
In this instant, he was vulnerable, weak; reduced to nothing more than a mess because of his own actions. Because of his own mistake.
Why did I...
Even if he didn't deserve it, even if the stinging sensation of his tears on his cheeks taunted him, mocking him for what he had done.
Even if he hadn't meant to; it was an error, of course. An enormous failure with not to oversee consequences. But there was no going back; the only way was forward. Making it all worth it.
Her life. Her precious life. In a second, reduced to nothing more than... than—
His chest heaved painfully.
Coward.
But this would be the last time. So... so—
000
When it was over, he pulled away slowly, and she let him, fingertips gently brushing for the last time through dark silky hair.
He didn't look at her, strands of hair falling messily into his face. It made him look so much younger. He's still just a boy, after all, eh.
She let out a soft breath.
"I will leave you alone, for now. You need to go back soon, right?"
He didn't move, didn't say anything, merely continued to stare at some invisible point on the floor.
She only got a glimpse of flushed cheeks before turning around and heading for the door.
She stopped, a hand resting on the cold surface of the door.
"Make sure you drink enough water. It'll help against the headache."
More silence.
And she left him behind, the door sliding shut with a soft noise after she exited the room and stepped into the chilly corridor.
She leaned back and settled herself against the wall, her gaze moving upwards, seeing nothing remarkably interesting.
It wasn't like she had expected a thank you, after all.
It's been a long time since I first watched the series Code Geass. But I still have trouble watching the ending without tearing up. This is also till now the only series I watched twice.
I always found this moment in episode 23 between Lelouch and C.C extremely sad and heartbreaking, yet beautiful. It's a quiet moment after such a horrendous event, yet so many emotions are playing out on screen.
This is my first fanfic for Code Geass. I hope this is alright!
All the mistakes are mine.