A/N: I do not own Harry Potter

This story was written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition

Team: Pride of Portree

Position: Chaser One - Write about a canonly virtuous/innocent character resisting temptation.

Additional Prompts: #4 [word] insufferable #9 [word] expectations #14 [dialogue] "If I had a knut for everytime (...) said that."

Wordcount: 1977

Canon compliant - this is based in fourth/fifth year, ish.

Sweet Temptation

oOo Expectations oOo

Lily was sixteen. She was beautiful with her striking red hair and bright green eyes. She was a catch. Today, James would get to take her on a date! It was certainly a case of opposites attract. He was the bad boy; he played pranks on those he didn't like, he strutted around Hogwarts as if he owned the place, and the rules were more like guidelines to him and his friends. Lily was different. She was studious, kind, and always had her homework in early. She stood up for those that were wronged–and by the Marauders no less. Lily was a shoo-in for head girl, and the rules were sacred to her. All in all, Lily was the good girl to James' bad boy.

People expected something from Lily, they expected her to get straight 'O's, and they expected her to play by the rules, all the time. There were even expectations as to the kind of boy that would take her out on a date, and James Potter was not it. Everyone expected her to go for someone a little more academic, someone a little less arrogant, someone a little more like Remus Lupin. Just as many others with high expectations hanging over them, it was a little stifling, and in some ways she was tempted to rebel against them. Perhaps that was part of the reason she had said yes to James' proposal.

She wasn't the only one with expectations; people expected something from James too. They expected him to win at Quidditch, look sexy in his school robes, sweet talk the teachers when he barely listened in class, and still get an 'O'. James Potter made school life look easy; he was that guy. The polar opposite to Lily; James relished in the expectations that his peers had of him. The idea that he could get any girl just made the one that said 'no' all that more appealing. In fact, James hated the thought of not living up to that particular expectation. Having always got his own way, he didn't quite pay attention to the word 'no'. No one expected him to lose out, even with Lily. Up until now, it was not something that Lily would have ever considered.

oOo Insufferable oOo

He had finally got his way. Finally, he lived up to the hype, and it all started in the Gryffindor common room. Lily sat working on her latest potions assignment. She tried to focus despite everything that was going on in the crazed common room; everyone was giggling, 'oohing' and 'ahhing', whispering and sniggering. It was like the white noise of her Muggle radio back home, in the background and impossible to ignore. Then someone knocked the table, and her inkwell tipped over, coating her parchment in shiny black ink. She looked up and there he was—framed by his friends, as usual—James bloody Potter.

"Has anyone told you that you are an insufferable pain in the arse?"

"You know what, Lily, light of my life, they have!" James smiled. "In fact, I believe it was you." He flicked his wand at her parchment, clearing up the ink with ease.

"I am more than capable, Potter," she retorted. Her irritation levels rose, even if the white noise had subsided somewhat.

"I just came over here to see if I could tempt you to go to Hogsmeade with me?" he asked with a pout.

She eyed him, knowing that he was not the sort for her; he had that look of self-importance and his inflated ego, which was already turning her off. "And why, oh why, would I do that?"

"She did say you were 'insufferable', James," Sirius said with a wicked grin.

"My point exactly." Lily started to pack her things away.

"Maybe if you said yes, I would be less insufferable," he retorted with a self-satisfied smile that made most girls swoon.

"Your offer is not tempting in the least, James Potter." She forced the last book in her bag as she tried to push past her sanguine obstacle.

The continued rejection wasn't something that he was used to, and so he implored her, "Just hear me out." The entire common room huddled around, watching and waiting for his victory, something that James Potter had to have.

"It's things like this that make her call you 'insufferable'," Remus sniggered.

"Can everyone just stop using that word for five minutes!" James stiffened in irritation; he was not a person that was mocked. Then he leaned into Lily, his rather irritated expression softened. "One date," he whispered. "Just see what it's like. If I can't tempt you, I'll never ask again."

"If I had a knut for every time you said that." Lily scowled.

"You've never agreed before." He smiled.

Lily sighed, the pressure and desire to rebel against her wholesome nature rising. "Fine, you have one date to tempt me into being your next... harlot!"

James grinned and finally let her pass. The common room erupted in cheers for their fearless leader. His pompous expression filled her with regret.

"Insufferable!"

oOo Temptation oOo

Lily woke with a start. Today was her date with Potter. She lay in bed looking up at the dark red curtains, going over and over in her mind the moment that she had given into temptation. This temptation would surely bite her in the arse. He showed no signs of maturing; he'd even got the entire common room to cheer and celebrate when she'd finally said yes!

Lily hauled herself out of bed, and went to the bathroom to begin the long ritual of getting herself ready. She didn't want to seem like she was making too much effort, and as such, she picked a simple outfit. It was with great misery that she left her dorm room, and when she got downstairs, he was stood there, waiting.

"Lily, can I take your bag?" he asked, smiling.

"Erm, sure…"

"I have the entire day planned. If at any point I irritate you, anger you, or completely ruin the date, you are more than welcome to leave. Does that sound fair?"

"It sounds positively rational," she replied, a bewildered expression on her face.

It was then that the temptation began. They strolled through the snowy grounds of Hogwarts, and he didn't even force her into holding hands, something she had been anticipating nervously! He was gentlemanly as he helped her down the icy steps, and then they walked down to Hogsmeade. What surprised her the most was how much he listened. She talked his ear off about the most mundane things, even about the current drama in the girls' dorms. He expressed opinions; agreed that Marlene really shouldn't hog the shower, and that Mary needed to stand up for herself.

He took her to Honeydukes, and secretly noted the treat that she liked most; Chocoballs. They were the most delectable chocolate treats that were filled with a strawberry mousse and clotted cream–delicious. From there he took her to her favourite shop; Scrivenshaft's. She eyed the fanciest quills; a long and elegant eagle feather quill was calling out to her. While she was purchasing, he had other plans. He took another shop assistant to one side.

"I just wanted to ask you about the personalised homework planners?" he asked with a grin.

The tiny shop assistant looked at him with greedy eyes, and directed him to a rather large glass cabinet.

"We have a wide range, and they all come with any of these enchantments." The tiny shop assistant handed him a long list. "If you are looking for something extra special," she continued with that same greedy gleam in her eye, "we have moleskin, very soft! We have the highest quality Erumpent leather-bound planners, dyed and bound by the finest wizarding artisans in Africa. I get them imported you know." She went on and on discussing the varying methods of journal bindings and why Erumpent leather was far superior to dragonhide!

James smiled, waiting for the moment that he could interrupt. "I would like that one; Erumpent leather in red! The 'lose me not' charm, and these here that remind you of your deadlines!"

The little old lady grinned as she opened the glass case and removed the only red leather planner.

"Oh, and I would like an inscription," he whispered.

Lily wandered over. "What are you getting?" She rolled her eyes at the lavish homework planners. "You don't even do your homework half the time, far more absorbed in your practical jokes!"

"You don't know everything about me, Lily," he added in a superior tone.

As soon as he had paid and was handed the small parcel, they left. It was a short walk to Madam Puddifoot's, a must for the perfect romantic date. He secured them a secluded table, and ordered her favourites; Chocoballs.

"You can't be serious, you don't even like them!" she exclaimed, though there was a smile on her face.

"But you like them," he replied. "No James Potter date is complete without a token for you to remember it." James handed her the package.

"James, you can't buy people." Lily tore the wrapping with a sweet smile. "Honestly, you shouldn't have!"

"I'm not trying to buy you. I just saw something that I thought you would love. You're so attentive to your homework, and I know you lost your planner. This one has a lose-me-not charm on it!" He smiled.

"James," she gushed. "How did you know? This is incredibly sweet!"

She looked down at the beautiful red leather, and it was softer than anything she had felt before. It was obviously a luxury item, but that wasn't what had made James so tempting. It was the thought, the attention to detail, the consideration to her! He made her feel like a princess. The inscription on the front sealed the deal; 'To Lily Evans, much love, the insufferable, James Potter.'

"Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it!" she enthused.

They sat over tea and talked some more. Their date was going very well; things were looking great for James. Lily was even tempted to let him take her out again and she reached over and held his hand. The date had been planned perfectly.

They were in the middle of a rather intense discussion on Transfiguration. Lily was even starting to feel a little smitten as she added smart to the mental list of 'pros'. There was a rush of cold air, but that didn't distract her from her date. She was just pointing out what Emeric Switch said about the complexities of the Inanimatus Conjurus Spell, when Frank Longbottom, with his girlfriend, Alice, walked up to the table. Frank burst out laughing.

"Did you guys stick Snape to the fence near the Shrieking Shack?"

"Frank, it's not funny," Alice scolded halfheartedly.

"It's hilarious! They took his pants and everything!"

James' eyes were as wide as a house-elf's, the expression screamed 'shut-up!' and then, as Lily pulled her hand away, he winced. "I swear," he began.

"That it wasn't you?" she asked disbelievingly. "If I had a knut for every time you said that."

"Lily, technically I didn't do it!" He pulled her back by her hand.

"But you got your friends to do it, didn't you?" she said, pushing him to the truth.

"I just didn't want him to ruin our date!" he confessed.

"Good bye, James."

"But Lily, we haven't finished our date!"

"You said that if I came on this sorry excuse for a date and could withstand the temptation, you would leave me alone! Temptation withstood, James!" Lily yanked her hand away and stormed out of the cafe, thanking her lucky stars that she had just dodged a bullet.

James was left looking furious, after all, it wasn't his fault!

A/N: Okay so this story scored 7.5/10 overall, and bonus prompts got me an extra 9!

I got deducted on some fouls and I have corrected those. There is one comma splice that I didn't correct because it isn't a comma splice. There is more than one way of connecting two independent clauses: FANBOYS method, semicolon, period, and subordinate conjunction, which I did 'after all'. There was one 'missing word' but the sentence made perfect sense without it, and the sentence didn't flow well with it.

Characterisation - James was considered to be a caricature of someone who is entitled, and considering I don't like the character, this could very well be true. The suggestion is to give James some vulnerability, which I plan to add when I get an inkling of how to do it well. I do not write James often and I want to make sure I get that right.

Prompt: The overall prompt lost points, as the judge didn't feel that there wasn't enough exploration of Lily resisting temptation, and I think this could really go along with giving James some vulnerability, and extending that last section. This is something I am going to get to later as well.

I would love to hear what you thought, are the more issues that you can find? Let me know, it's all in an effort to improve my skills.

Thanks

Verity