Broken frames

I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been with my boyfriend for close to 2 years and he drops a bombshell on me.

"It's over" The cowboy said plainly whilst covering his face with his hat.

"Wha-what? What have I done? Please tell me! I'm so sorry for whatever I did" I could feel my eyes swelling from the crushing weight on my heart

"If you really want to know, I just don't think you're the same girl I dated when we were first together. You're not someone I want anything to do with." He quickly turned away and walked onto the boat ready for departure.

I can't remember it all after that, only that my vision was blurred and that I was on the floor begging for forgiveness.

So dark inside

I wiped my nose but the tears kept coming. I've been like this for over a season now. He never spoke to me after that, it was like I was an old friend forgotten in the wind. I couldn't handle the pain of not having him next to me, holding me close and taking in my scent like he used to.

I gurgled a little and I finished off my drink, throwing the bottle next to the mass collection of them I seemed to have now. I feel so alone, so lost...Like a child trying to find their parents in a grocery store. I haven't spoken to anyone after what happened unless I needed to, they knew that I was now the empty shell of what I was.

This was when I decided that it was time to take a walk outside.

Faces mismatched

I stumbled across outside trying to find the bridge to Sprout Island. It was dark but I knew whoever I passed watched me with pitiful eyes. I didn't need their pity, I needed what was my old life. I finally found where I wanted to go and watched the waves peacefully slip onto the beach. I took off my boots and dangled my feet in the water, hoping to forget.

Trickle out in a line

There was nothing left of me now. I had my farm, and I loved it dearly. To be honest I don't think I would even feel human if I didn't have my farm with me now. Although I'm filled with pain and sorrow, I'm happy I came to sunshine islands. It let me have an independence, and experience love, even though I lost it in the stretch of time.

Waves of shadows

My vision was beginning to blur, must be the drink. I longingly look at my hands, I think I'll pick up some more drink from Chen's later. He always looks at me sadly when I ask to buy more, not that I care so much anymore. Its the only thing which keeps me alive now. I used to love everyone on this island, but now they are nothing but shadows of the life I used to live.

Scattered dreams

I'll never forget my love for Vaughn. He was everything I needed in my life, he was the support I needed when my heart broke down from the past, and he was the one who kept me in the present and future. He wasn't the kindest guy around when we first met sure but things seemed to slot in effortlessly with us.

I was going to propose to him before that happened, I realised one night that he was all I needed to keep my life happy, but it seemed to all slip away from me, guess I was too late.

Where are you?

I felt drops fall on my knees, and I noticed that I was crying again. I longed for his touch, his smile, his love...but I knew better than to force myself into a fantasy and believe that he'd come back for me. I knew it was over and he wasn't coming back to save me from my empty soul. I even saw him smiling with Sabrina on his birthday, even though it turned into a scowl when he saw me, and Sabrina just watched me with sad and guilty eyes. I didn't care that he's moving on so quickly with his life, I'm happy for him in fact, at least we both aren't staying in death's snare.

I stared into the dark sky, the stars glistened with more beauty than ever before, the full moon painting its mystery across them. I don't think I'll ever get out of this, not unless I found a way out.

I curled into a ball at this point, and I couldn't stop myself from letting out the one thought that have been stuck in my mind

Where are you?

Trying to find

I got up at this point, and slip my boots back on, my head still in a daze. I think its time for another drink, I grumbled. The emotions of that day came back with no pleasant embrace. I shuffled myself into Chen's store once again. "I'd like to buy 3 more bottles please." Chen turned around and looked somewhat alarmed "Chelsea, I don't think you should have that many, you stink of alcohol as it is.." he looked concerned for my safety, not that I cared anymore. "I'll be fine, here's the gold."

I threw a bag of gold with the exact money at him, lets just say I planned on buying this many bottles tonight. Chen slunk into the back and came back with the bottles in a bag. I nodded and left the shop, I didn't need to see the pity in his eyes.

What do I see?

I decided if I wanted to do this I would have to go to meadow island, no one is there at night. I got a lift off Kirk, or at least I think that's his name. I don't mind him as much because he doesn't even look at me. Probably because he understands that I don't like the pity stares at least.

I hopped off the boat and went into the trees beside the shrine. I sat at the edge and began drinking. The waves crashed against the rocks, giving my mind something to listen to. My body ached for Vaughn, but I knew I would never feel him wrap his arms around me again, hell I haven't even heard his voice after that day because he's determined on forgetting me.

Pictures that rhyme

Colors that breathe

I stared out into the ocean, it feels like time stops while I'm here, I look at the time, its 11:10pm, not too bad. I finish off the first bottle and pick up the second one, my hands shaking. I knew I was off my head now, the corners of my eyes were now dancing with visions of black, but I wanted to stay here.

I sighed and took in all the things that have happened in my life: my parents caring and nurturing me into a healthy strong girl. The sobs I got from them when I left the nest for my own life, the boat sinking and finding myself washed up on sunshine islands. The years I spent making friends with everyone and working hard...then I met Vaughn. Sure I spoke to him briefly before, but this was when I really saw Vaughn. The time we spent together flourished into a young love. And how after time passed I lost him, and everyone else in the process. I never told him 2 weeks before we broke up that my parents had died in a fire and I had attended the funeral. Hell no one knows still.

I need to

Discover more

I lost everything so swiftly after my parents died. I lost Vaughn, and after that everything and everyone seemed to just slip away from my grasp, and I turned into just the farmer girl who was an alcoholic. I want to move with all my heart, but no one in the city wants me, I don't have the experience in the things they want. I want to explore more into the world, and find somewhere I belong. "But you belong here!" I grunted at my outburst, that can't be right, or at least I think...

Find where I've been

I stared at the water again. It seems like a storm is brewing, it will probably hit the next day. I smiled and started to drink faster than before. I finally finished off the third drink and got up. My vision was getting worse by the minute, but I'm too intoxicated to care. My balance is off the rails, and I had to grab onto a tree beside me to stay straight. I could end it all now, I thought. All I had to do was just fall into the water, and it will do the rest for me. 'You can't do that! You have a farm to look after, and people who care about you!' I laughed at myself, hah. If they really cared they would have tried to help me now, they proved how much they cared. Deep inside, I wished that I was wrong.

Let images pour

All of a sudden everything suddenly began to flash through my mind. The times where I would sleep over at Lanna's and how we would laugh with Natalie and Julia, and how we would gossip about everyones lives including our own. The moments where I would loving sleep in the barn with my animals without a worry in the world. The moments where I would have a meal with my parents and we would be comforted by each others presence. The times where me and Vaughn would sleep in each others arms...

I had enough of living in my own prison, afraid of going near anyone else in case they would leave me like everyone else.

Trying to find

I found myself crying again, boy I was on a roll. I desperately searched my mind in hopes of finding just one gem of a reason to stay here, but I found nothing, all I found were the shadows of my past life. I didn't have anything, even my animals were taken away from me because taro thought that I 'wasn't fit to care for them right now', although he added that I can have them back when I'm better.

I wished for nothing more than a reason to stay, and I know now that I'm so drunk that I'm mumbling these thoughts out loud to myself in hopes of someone to help me.

What do I see?

My stomach was churning at the pain of drinking too much, yet I barely reacted to it. I just stared at the scene before me with empty eyes. I noticed something coming closer but it didn't seemed like much. I hoped, no dreamed that it was the boat with everyone on it come to save me from my despair, from my loneliness...

But why come now and not earlier?

Pictures that rhyme

Colors that breathe

Before I even realised what I had done, I had already let myself fall into the water. Everything suddenly went in slow motion, as my body crashed against the rocks of the islands again and again. I didn't have to worry anymore, I was going up in the clouds soon and I will be reunited with my parents. I promised myself that I would tell them how much I loved them when I first got there.

As the air is being replaced by water, I felt content, it felt like this is my time to go. "I love you Vaughn" I spoke with unseen tears as I let the water gush down my throat and take me away. I looked up out of the water to the sky once more, my hair flowing around my lifeless body, what I wasn't expecting to see in the sky was a large shadow falling into the water for me.

Trying to find

I can't see very much, although I just felt the gravity of my body suddenly get very heavy "i must be out of the water...but why?'" I looked around for an answer, but all I could see was a dark figure clinging onto my body as it lay me down on the grass. I suddenly felt very angry, I was finally able to do it, and then someone decides to care about me? Good game world...

I coughed and spluttered out water, my eyes no longer stinging from the water, my vision is coming back, and could see the darkness that still consumes my heart.

"What were you thinking?!"

What do I see? (Where are you?)

I jolted at the sudden outburst, and finally looked up to see who it was, I couldn't see very well because it was so dark, but I could clearly see the outlines of a cowboy hat. Then his face came into view, his body was shaking from the cold, his clothes clung onto his body and water dripped off him. His hair stuck to his face, and his beautiful amethyst eyes watched me with alarm and pain, the hat barely sat upon his head.

Wait a second, why does he look so upset? And why come to me now? I felt my head getting hot with anger.

"What business is it to you" I grunted, narrowing my eyes. "You were trying to kill yourself, what the hell for?!" he shook my body with a considerable amount of force and his face changed to a harsher look "And your breath stinks of alcohol" I was actually more surprised that he could pick up that scent after having water going down my throat. I simply looked away from him, tired of his haunting face "I'm just tired of living without a purpose, and the fishies seem friendly down there" I turned around and cracked a grin at him, hoping it would calm him down, it didn't.

Pictures that rhyme (Where are you?)

His face darkened at my last comment, and pulled his cowboy hat down his face. "Do you realise how panicked I was when I got off the boat and see you just walk off the edge?" he growled the words out, throwing in as much venom as he could to let the reality try to hit me. Huh, I never even noticed that an ex can worry so much. I growled back at him "You could have just left me. You didn't have to go all hero boy on me now." thats when a felt pain literally punch me in the face. I held my cheek and looked up to see a very angry cowboy loom over me.

"How can you even say that? I'd never leave you to die just like that! How dare you even not care about everyone on the island and decide to throw your life away like that?" he pushed me to the floor at this point, and pinned my arms to the ground, pain shooting up my arms from the rocks underneath the sea.

"Nobody does though do they? Ever since that day happened I have been thrown out of the world and forgotten by them all! Haven't you even seen that I don't speak to anyone on these islands anymore? All they do now is give me pitiful looks and nothing more. I have no one here anymore Vaughn. So don't even think to tell me those things and get out of my face!" I spat the words at him, filled with hate. At first I saw surprise on his eyes, I also saw something else, but it disappeared too quickly into anger once more. Vaughn got off me and sat up, pulling the hat down once more over his face.

"Is that what you really thought all this time? Let me set the record for you right now then. Everybody is worried about you, they just can't approach you. Every time someone tries to reach out their hand to help, you bite it with more force than needed. Why do you think Chen doesn't say too much when you buy drinks now? He knows if he works you up that you may just screech at him. Chelsea, everyone wants you to get better, and to stop being like this..." I wasn't sure if I was heard his voice croak then or not, but I didn't care. It must be just a ruse to stop me from doing that, yeah that's it.

He moved closer to me and put his hand gently on mine, making my body jolt with pleasure and disgust at the same time "Chelsea you can't keep going the way you are, your farm is starting to lose its touch and the drinking can't be helping you." This was when I really blew my top.

"You don't know anything about me and my farm! You don't even have a right to judge my farm and me on mere gossip you must be hearing, how can you even know how I am if all you ever did was ignore me and pretended like I didn't exist! You don't know the heartbreak I experienced ever since you..." my lips trembled and my throat closed up to prevent me from saying, it was just too painful.

I shook my head and carried on "You have nothing to talk to me about on this Vaughn. You've not come near me until now, and that was probably only because you would feel guilty if you let someone die" he head jolted up at this remark but I put my hand out in response "No, you listen some more. It doesn't matter anymore if you ignore me, it doesn't matter if everyone ignores me also," I got closer to him "but I WON'T let you pull me into a false reality where I think anyone gives a care!" I slapped the hat off his head, and got up and looked in the other direction.

"Y-You mean-"

"No Vaughn. I don't want to hear anymore lies."

"You mean ever-"

"What part about that did you not understand? I said-"

"You mean everything to me!"

Colors that breathe (Where are you?)

My body just froze in place, alongside everything else in the world. I mean everything to...Vaughn? I shook off my statue mode and turned to look at him, that was when I really saw.

His face...i saw many emotions he showed me when we were together before, but nothing like I've seen now. There were tears streaming down his face, and his nose was red from the welling up, his mouth contorted into a pained grimace, and his eyes were filled with the most utter sadness that I've ever seen in my life. I didn't know how to react, I've never seen him this way, how defenseless he looked, how broken he really was.

I shook myself out of this state and sat down in front of him, my cheeks flushing "W-What did you say?" he swallowed his spit and softly replied "You mean everything to me, Chelsea" I kept back my questions and hoped he would elaborate, but then I remembered that he was a man of few words and went forward with them anyway.

"What? Why? When?" I shook my head in confusion, and he looked at me once more, wiping the tears off his face "Chelsea, when I broke up with you that day it wasn't because I stopped loving you, it was because I felt..."he looked at the ground and put his hand over his chest "It was because I felt like you deserved more. I know I'm not the best kind of guy out there and the only way I knew how to save you was to break up, and it killed me to do it. After that I tried to find a way to keep going but I couldn't. I even tried to go out with Sabrina because I knew she liked me but I just didn't feel anything for her. I know that you went down this path because of me, it broke my heart watching you move around so...lifeless."

I shook with shock and tried to process what he was saying. "I...I wanted to be with you but I also wanted you to be with someone else, so I decided if I ignored you then you might just move on that little bit quicker" He bore his eyes into me, with more emotion than I've ever experienced before "But you just seemed to be getting worse and worse. I even heard that you would be buying 3 bottles a night. So tonight I..." he looked down at the ground, then with sudden determination burning in his body, he moved.

It was too fast for me to react, but I suddenly felt warmth blanketing my body, when I shook myself out of my daze, I realised that Vaughn was holding me close. His grip was so tight it was almost like he was clinging for dear life itself, and this comforted my heart. "I was actually following you today because I finally shook myself from my thoughts, and knew that you needed me, just not as much as I even dared to think when I saw you throw yourself into the sea. It made me realise that I needed you more than anything..." I could feel tears falling on my shoulder, and he bent back to look into my eyes, his own swollen from the tears and lips quivering, which I didn't think Vaughn was capable of.

He swallowed spit once more, "I know I broke your heart, and I can't ever make up for what I did to you, and everything you've lost in this time, even your parents" I looked up at him confused, I hadn't told him have I? The cowboy saw the l look I gave and let out a sigh "A week after we ended I called your parents numbers to tell them that I was worried about them, and the person on the other line told me the news." he clung onto me tighter, if that was humanly possible. He closed his eyes tightly, and continued from where he left off "I thought you didn't deserve me, I still think you don't deserve me, but I came to my senses and realised that we both can't live without each other. So what I'm trying to say is...will you stay by my side once more?" I definitely heard his voice crack at the end there.

I just sat there and sucked it all in. I didn't even realise what was happening in the inner workings of my heart, but I know it was for the better, I stared at Vaughn's eyes, searching for any signs of betrayal, but there was none. Did this really happen? As soon as I realised that it was real everything set into motion. I felt...free. I felt an emotion that I haven't even experienced in a long time, it was...happiness. The chains were pulling themselves off my body and returning to the dark depths they had came from. I looked into my heart and what was once black is now a pure red colour. "Chelsea?" I shot back up and stared at him.

I finally became aware of how wrong I was in ever doubting everyone, deep down I knew they still cared, but it was covered by my despair and anger. I moved up and kissed Vaughn on the lips, hoping never to doubt their love for me again. As the sparks flew through my mind, I felt content. I couldn't believe that I was going to throw away my chance at being with the one I loved again, a chance at living happily ever after. I broke the kiss and looked up at him "Of course I will Vaughn, I'll always be here." I pushed myself into him to taste his warm welcoming lips once again.

In the first time in what seemed like years, I was smiling.