Sacrifices

Being a couple includes making sacrifices for one another. Hotaru can't. Ruka won't.

I slowly set done the steaming plate of crab, quite pleased with myself. It took me a week to gather the ingredients and master the steps alone. Another three days were spent to attempt to make the dish. It was exhausting, to say the least. At first, there was too much salt. Then, there was too little salt. After that, I tried it without the salt and probably some other minor ingredients, but then it tasted too bland, so I had to start over. The whole process was just arduous, considering that I was already mentally fatigued after sautéing and physically fatigued just after three hours.

Another problem was that Hotaru refused to eat crab from the grocery so I had to buy them alive in a fish market. Cooking crab was one thing, but killing it felt so horrible and so I spent about an hour convincing myself it was worth it. I almost didn't actually, but I came across a website comparing fresh crab to crab bought refrigerated and it was obvious that I would have to kill the crab.

Four more days after I finally succeeded, I found an opportunity to put my newfound knowledge of cooking to use. Hotaru's company was able to acquire a new client and he was scheduled to sign the contract today. I figured that she would be happy and a celebratory dinner with crabs would suit her tastes.

It was still seven thirty when I finished arranging the spoons and forks, so I decided to watch TV while waiting for her. Unfortunately, there was nothing good on and, before realizing it, either because of the exhaustion of cooking or of the monotonous drone of the History channel, I dozed off.

It seemed only seconds after when I woke up, hearing the engine of a car outside. I rubbed at my eyes and turned off the TV, not yet thinking clearly. After a minute, I immediately stood up, remembering the meal, and the room started spinning so I was forced to sit back down.

I glanced up at the clock and stood up quickly. "It's already ten!?"

The sound of the front door opening made me turn around and there stood Hotaru Imai, still in her uniform and looking tired, yet still magnificent. "Hotaru—"

It made me stop for a moment, my mouth slightly open in mid-speech and my hair disheveled from sleep. After the initial shock that always came when one sees an Imai came the disappointment and the frustration.

"Good evening, Ruka." She said, quickly crossing the living room. "I'm going to bed."

Then the anger arose. "You're going to bed? Now?"

She stopped and turned around. "If you haven't noticed, it's already ten fifteen and I am quite tired. You're welcome to join me or maybe you'd much more prefer standing there looking like a complete idiot."

I stared at her in shock. "But I cooked crabs! "

"I already ate."

Then she left, leaving me to fall into a long mental torpor before going outside to give the cold crab to Shiro.

I checked my watch, making sure I wouldn't be late for my reservation. It was Friday—date night—and I sure didn't want to be late after not having one last week due to Hotaru's ever so busy schedule. I still had half an hour, so I decided not to rush.

I packed up my things, made sure I didn't leave anything behind, and was already past the reception desk when I heard my name being called. I turned around, slightly irritated.

"Doctor Nogi!" An intern was jogging up to me. "We have an emergency!"

"What?" I asked, cursing myself for not leaving earlier. Now I remember why I always left early.

"A Husky was run over—Um, the other doctors told me to get you. All daytime doctors have already left and the two night ones are both busy. Anyway, it's critical. If we don't get the dog to surgery immediately, it will die!" She was clearly distressed and looked like she was ready to cry.

I checked my watch, calculating the time I would spend on the surgery, the time it would get to arrive to the restaurant and the inevitable delay traffic on a Friday night would give me. Although I already knew the answer, I still wondered if I would be able to make it on time.

"Doctor? We need to go now!"

I sighed, before running a hand through my hair. "Alright. Let's go."

The intern dashed off, ignoring the elevators and going up two flights of stairs. The dog was already in the surgery room when we got there and two nurses were ready to assist. I performed the surgery, thoughts of how mad Hotaru is going to be when she realizes I wouldn't be coming racing through my mind.

The surgery was nothing out of the ordinary and I was able to save the dog, though it would have a limp for the rest of its life. I glanced at my watch once again, even though I already knew that it was already too late to get there. I quickly left the hospital once I got the paperwork filled out and drove home.

It took me twenty minutes to arrive home and I cringed at the idea of Hotaru getting mad as I turned off the engine. When I opened the door, the lights to the living room were turned off and no sign of Hotaru ever arriving home was present. I went upstairs to our room and, except the overhead light being turned on—and I might have forgotten to turn that off in the morning—there was still no sign of her.

I almost panicked as the thought that she waited for me in the restaurant flashed through my mind, but the thought quickly vanished as I heard the bathroom door open. My panic rose through a different level this time.

She stood there with her arms crossed, looking extremely pissed off in contrast to her usual neutral expression. Her hair was wet and she had already changed to her nightgown, indicating that she had arrived quite a while ago. She obviously didn't wait for me.

I gulped and began to talk, "I'm so sorry, Hotaru. It's just—I mean, there was an emergency in the hospital and I had to—"

She cut me off, her voice icy. "You didn't have to do anything."

"You're right." I told her, having learned after all these years that telling women they're right makes them feel at least slightly better. "You're right, but—"

"If I'm right, then why is there a but?" She cut me off again, walking past me and sitting on her side of the bed, her back facing me.

I knew I had this coming and yet, I would have borne it better if she had shot me ruthlessly with her baka gun. I never regretted what I did—I saved a life!—but I sure hoped that fate could have given me a less cruel fate.

I sighed, walking to the side of the bed and standing there awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

She turned around and I noticed that her eyes were no longer cold, but it was far from warm. I sat down in front of her, hoping that I looked sorry. She looked as if she was going to say something, but stopped herself from doing so. Instead, she lay down without a word, her back facing me once again.

It was her own version of guilt-tripping and it was obviously working. And so, I slept on the couch that night.

It was a normal Saturday, at first. Hotaru and I were in the living room, her on the carpeted floor with her tools and a new device and me in front of the coffee table with a pen and a piece of paper.

I was thinking about these recent events one day and questioning myself if my relationship with Hotaru still had its quirks. After finding a few and listing them down like the guide in the internet stated, I began to think about the cons. The cons came out faster than the pros and were surprisingly much more in amount than the pros.

"This isn't going to work." Hotaru mumbled to herself, going once again at one of her inventions. "This is stupid."

Her earlier statement brought me back from mulling over the state of our relationship.

"What did you say?" I asked dumbly.

She turned her head and raised an eyebrow at me, not answering me.

"'This isn't going to work…'" I repeated, answering myself. "I can't believe I didn't think of that. Maybe you're right…"

"What the heck are you talking about?" She asked, annoyed. She had put down her screwdriver and it rolled away from her.

I looked at her in the eye. "This relationship isn't going to work."

She stared at me for a moment, surprised. Then she went back to getting annoyed.

She said, "Ruka, I was talking about my co-worker's stupid idea of an invention, not our relationship. What is wrong with you?"

I ignored her last statement, continuing, "Don't you see? We have nothing in common, we have more time for our jobs than each other and we don't even engage in physical intimacy!"

She stood up, letting go of her invention. She was serious this time. "Is that what this is about? My disinterest in displays of affection? I thought you already knew what you were getting into when you married me."

"No! That's not it. I mean, yes, but generally—Ugh." I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. "Hotaru, I don't—I thought I did, but, ugh. I don't know. I just don't know. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe I didn't think it through enough when I did it. I mean, we should think about it first, but I-I think maybe we should—"

"Get a divorce?" She frowned. "Is that what you're trying to say?"

"No. Um, yes. I don't know!" I threw my hands up, frustrated and confused. "Maybe?"

Well that escalated quickly.

She seemed to consider my answer for a moment, then sighed. "Alright then."

A/n: This is a one-shot. Also, I might have made a mistake about the crabs. Tell me if I did and I'll gladly correct it. :)