EMP·TY [emp-tee] adjective
containing nothing; having none of the usual or appropriate contents
He was the extremity of emptiness.
He had always thought it made him strong, the absence of anything that could potentially tie him down. He had assumed that this emptiness was to be embraced heartily, and was to be used to its full destructive extent.
Or maybe, that had just been Aizen's influence.
Before he met Aizen, he had just been a lonely soul, ostracised by other hollows from being a pure white in comparison with their dark colours. His loneliness had been such that even a tree of similar colour as him was able to give him the comfort that he wanted; its sharp spines breaking his mask as he fell into the tree's embrace.
A hollow hugging a tree.
He swore never to appear that weak again.
But now, as he stood swaying in front of Kurosaki Ichigo, he felt exactly so. The emptiness inside of him that he had struggled to put under control had risen again, and at once he felt all the loneliness and powerlessness he felt when he was still a mere hollow. Power had subdued it for some time, but not anymore.
His eyes trailed to the girl at the side, the girl whom he was supposed to guard to the very end. He found her intriguing, with her faith and beliefs, as well as the care for her comrades. At first, he thought it was foolish, putting trust in your acquaintances and shedding tears as they are ripped apart. But yet, she still did, Kurosaki Ichigo did, and he had even defeated the once indestructible emptiness with that…heart.
What is a heart? If I rip open your chest, will I find it there? If I crack open your skull, will I find it there?
Why was it that he felt a need to understand it, a need to have it?
"Are you scared of me… woman?"
As he reached out to her, a sudden wave of panic washed over him. He felt so needy, so desperate for something that could fill his emptiness that it shocked him.
Just for a little while, before he was gone forever, let him experience it.
"No…"
Their gazes locked; his confused one with her sad one.
"I am not scared."
Tears started to brim in her eyes as she spoke. Her hand reached out towards his and his eyes followed her movements with a sort of fascination.
There was a slight tingle as their hands made contact.
And in his depths, he could have sworn he felt a beat, something pulsing through him just as his arm started to dissipate. He brought his disappearing hand up to his face and observed it with interest.
So this is it…
This is the heart.
He felt himself being swept away by the passing wind and he knew his time was almost up. At his last moment, he looked back into her eyes and he could swear he felt something twist inside him.
Thank you, Orihime Inoue.
If only we had met under different circumstances, maybe…
Maybe…