Lifeless by TheKabbageKat
Author's Note: -see end-
Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Kingdom Hearts. All I possess are the rights to Mentally Handicapped Kitty.
Don't ask.
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Muted light filtered into a bleached white room, showering its two occupants with a dreary glow that only further annoyed the taller of the pair.
That sun had no right to shine.
Being left to his thoughts for nearly six months now, Axel had, in fact, come to that very conclusion. Why could that bright, luminescent globe provide light to billions when Axel hadn't had any light for half of his year? What right did it have to keep on shining like nothing at all happened, like the only thing that could ever rival its glow hadn't left, burnt out?
The sun only reminded Axel of his hair, anyway.
And with that brilliantly blue sky overhead, how couldn't Axel think about his eyes? Always, the redhead thought that they held the deepest secret, he knew he saw something in there, but always, always, that crystal clear color would peer out at him, daring him to question their intentions. Those pure, sapphire depths...
Now they were covered by their fleshy lids all of the time...
Axel hadn't seen those eyes in six months.
Slowly, his attention turned back to the room he and his other were occupying, attentively eyeing the breathing machine, its droning wheezes taunting the wide awake redhead. Then, of course, the incessant beeping of the heart rate monitor mocked him as well, though his relationship with that particular apparatus was set to a knowing one early on in his acquaintance with it.
It was that very incessant beeping that told Axel that Roxas was actually alive. Actually still there. His heart was still beating, his lungs still rhythmically expanding, his blood still pulsing...
Realizing that he would soon be thrown out (as his thoughts took up nearly five hours here), Axel walked out of the hospital room, his heart staying there with his love, where it belonged.
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Axel had been together with Roxas for nearly two years when the accident happened. Their courtship began when Roxas was a mere freshman art student at the local university, Axel being a junior already. Despite their age difference, the hot-headed junior pursued that short, adorable blond kid he laid eyes on during the first day, expecting this new specimen to fawn over the playboy like everyone else did.
They always did, after all.
But, to the elder's intense surprise, the blond completely blew him off. The conversation that took place before said event was one that would forever be imprinted in the redhead's mind...
"You a freshman?" the junior had asked, not one for proper greetings. At that, the younger had whipped his head around to glare at the tall newcomer.
"Yes, I am. So, before you start hitting on me, I suggest you think about the age difference. Don't worry, I'm sure someone can help you figure it out if you can't do it yourself."
Talk about blindsided with a capital B. Axel had certainly not expected that.
He—what? How did he... I wasn't going to—oh, who'm I kidding, of course I was gonna hit on him...
Little did he know, he had been emitting little squeaks and squawks expressing his outrage at this, which, in turn, greatly amused the blond. Finally, a few words managed to make their way to the junior's brain. "How did you know that I was going to..." he stumbled, volume growing increasingly quieter until it was indecipherable.
"Dunno. Guess I must be psychic or something," the blond remarked cheekily.
Thus began a game of cat and mouse between the two.
That cat was damn persistent and that mouse was a damn tease.
But, eventually, the two had the fairy tale ending: as in, they fall in love and the screen fades until only the sunset is left and the viewer is left with a silhouette of two lovers are left kissing.
Axel would have been perfectly happen with that, now that he knew what would happen.
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Another day bloomed into life, bringing Axel to the familiar sterile room in which Roxas lay.
Much like the sun, the day had no right to exist in Axel's mind. Not with his light in a damn coma.
Like everyday he came here (meaning everyday), Axel took a seat next to Roxas' bed, scooting closer until he could do so no more. His hand absently stroked his lover's, eyes boring into the blond's face, just willing him to wake up.
Just wake up, Roxy. Wake up. You can't leave me on my own any more...
And all the while blaming himself for what happened to get his angel stuck in this godforsaken place.
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The day that it had happened, Roxas was driving the two of them back to their apartment in the city from the restaurant that Axel had simply insisted they go to.
Strike one.
The route back to said home included a strange sort of backroad that ran through a wooded area right outside of town. Trees surrounded both sides of the traveling car.
Strike two.
Of course, the well-meaning redhead hadn't intended to choose the one night that his home town's weather decided to be utterly unpredictable—a rare occurrence in these parts. Alas, it was predicted that severe thunder storms would be hitting Hollow Bastion that night, so please stay off the roads and in your house, thank you and have a goodnight.
Strike three.
It was Axel's fault because he made Roxas go out. He tipped the domino to start the chain reaction.
So, really, it was his fault that they were in the way of a stray tree falling towards the road. It was his fault that it his Roxas side of the car directly.
It was all his fault the most beautiful boy in the world was left to rot in unconsciousness for... possibly the rest of his life.
You're out.
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After the accident... the medical bills... the arrangements... Axel still had time left over (they wouldn't let him stay at the hospital all day, everyday, though that didn't stop him from trying) at his home.
That Roxas used to live in.
Needless to say, Axel's life was far from full from then on—he spent his time laying on his couch, thinking. Always, always thinking, regretting, realizing that it would not help him, but hurt him.
He didn't care.
In the beginning... namely, the first day, he had tried to do something to keep himself busy. Cooking, cleaning, anything. While looking for some scrubbing solution in the bathroom, he caught his reflection in the mirror.
And promptly smashed it to sparkling, useless bits that cut his smooth, pale skin.
It was... it was his hair. It was blood red. It was the color of... the color of Roxas in the accident.
It was... it was his eyes. Acidic green, sickening, the color of illness and hospitals, the stomach churning feeling.
Hands gripped the sink for balance, tears making rivers down his cheeks.
Choking on a sob, a small but powerful whimper spun itself on his vocal chords as his heart clenched miserably. "Roxas..."
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For the most part, Axel didn't talk to his lover when he was visiting, no matter how many times the doctors said it helped. But it wasn't because he didn't want to—he just knew Roxas well enough to know that he wasn't a talkative person. They would lay together for hours in silence... just... listening...
A few small tears traveled down the redhead's cheeks.
He also remembered that, sometimes, the blond needed to be forced to talk.
"Roxas..." he began meekly. All of his sorrow seemed to build up into a tangible block in his throat. "Roxy, I really need you to wake up. I really, really need you to try." Axel choked on a sob making its way up. "I-I tried to s-stay normal... as n-normal as I c-could be, you know... But... B-but I really need you, R-Roxas. I... I r-really need you to w-wake up."
His voice grew a notch louder, that much more hysterical. "Roxy... R-Roxy, Roxas, please, p-please don't leave m-me alone any m-more. Please. I need y-you here with me. F-forever. Please."
The grip on the blond's unresponsive hand tightened as Axel stood up. "Wake up, Roxas. Wake up now! I've been alone for too long now! You need to wake up! Just... WAKE UP!" The redhead was breathing erratically now, very near hyperventilation.
A passing nurse sent a wary glance into the room, wondering if she needed to call security but quickly dismissed it. This guy... he wouldn't cause any harm.
A sobbing, sniffling, wheezing mess was left in the place of a formerly playful character. Tears soaked the blankets as a head was lay down on the bed, small mumblings of please, I love you, wake up, just wake up not heard by anyone save for the tormented.
Axel was allowed to stay that night. No one wanted to wake the slumbering visitor after seeing the tear stains marring his face.
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Usually, awaking to a massive backache and sticky eyes would bother someone, but it seemed Axel had stopped caring long ago.
He was used to it by now, anyway.
To anyone on the outside, it looked like the redhead was still asleep—until they noticed his cold, dead eyes staring downward. Not a muscle moved, not a finger twitched. And it stayed like that until roughly four in the afternoon.
When the usually calming heart monitor started to beep a bit more irregularly.
A bit faster.
And Roxas' arm twitched.
Axel had little to no time to even gather hope in this situation before a troupe of doctors and nurses burst into the room, pushing him out of the way to get to the patient.
He found himself near the door of the room, desperately trying to see through the wriggling mass of medical helpers.
What's happening? was the thought that coursed through his brain a mile a minute.
That... and the hope of his lover finally waking up.
It seemed like the roar of nurses and doctors was tuned down toward a more suitable level, sharp mentions of blood pressure and heart rate nearly gone as hope swelled.
Until he heard those words, most likely taking place a few minutes after the initial heart rate fiasco.
"Time of death: four fourteen pm."
No.
Axel didn't notice any of the concerned eyes on him, any of the pitying stares.
No.
No was the thought that passed through his mind right before blackness engulfed him, a secure, numbing blanket to dull the pain, quickly enough so not even as to let him feel the crack of his skull against the linoleum floor.
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Author's Note: Okay, so I'm not fully satisfied with this; I could've done better. But I just got so sick of reading and re-reading that I was just all "FINE! IT'S DONE!" And so it is.
Originally, a good friend of mine told me about her idea for a oneshot: Roxas in a coma. I was like ZEEOHEMGEE THAT'S AWESOME! but I didn't wanna steal her idea. Then she gave me permission to. She also wrote one, though it is significantly longer and different from mine.
So go and read The Rush by B e c k a r c h. 'Cuz it's my duty to give her a plug. (I don't actually know if it will be posted at the point that this is posted, so... just check back?)
Well. I truly hope that you will review. No one ever reviews my stories. Like, ever. I get countless views, but, like, three reviews. Hmph.
And to make this note even longer!: Soon, as in hopefully in the next few days, I'll be posting the first couple installments of my new chapter fic, While You Were Out. Technically, it's "co-written" by B e c k a r c h. Technically. But you'll understand if you read it.
So... review, please!
The Long Winded One, TheKabbageKat