Ghosts
Rated: PG-13
Category: Daniel/Vala, Daniel/Janet, Daniel/Sha're. Daniel/Cassie/Sam Friendship.
Season: Ten.
Spoilers: General Series Knowledge.
Summary: Can Daniel Escape His Past To Find His Future?
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CHAPTER ONE
Daniel Jackson woke with a start.
He was covered in a cold sweat, and he wasn't sure where he was.
A strange, stringy substance covered most of his chest, and the room smelled of sweat and expensive wine.
He experimentally brushed some of the stringy substance away from his pectoral muscles and it fell away easily.
'Thank God for that,' thought Daniel, and he picked his head up a little to visually explore the room.
As he moved, the stringy stuff moved away from him, and a small noise was heard.
Daniel realized that a weight was also lifted off of his right shoulder.
He came fully awake instantly and rolled onto his right side, propping his head up on one arm.
As he saw that the stingy substance was actually a full head of black hair, his heart stopped in his chest. Memories of the previous night bombarded his senses.
Dinner.
Wine.
A kiss.
More.
Much, much more.
He couldn't stop his body's natural response to his thoughts, but as he looked down on the still sleeping from of Vala Maldoran, Daniel began to panic.
Weak light was streaming through the small windows of the scene of the crime, a mid-range hotel downtown. Daniel knew it was near dawn.
He wanted nothing more than to roll back over and return to slumber, if only to stop the thoughts swirling in his mind. One part of him looked down on Vala with adoration and wonder and that part of him wanted her again. But another part, a larger part, screamed out a system wide alert that he was insane to even be in this situation, and it squelched all desire from Daniel.
They'd said it wouldn't affect their jobs, but he knew it would.
He knew this would screw everything up.
And more than that, he knew, deep down, he KNEW that because of this he would lose her.
Like he'd lost Sha're.
Like he'd lost Sarah.
And like he'd lost Janet.
Daniel sighed and rolled back onto his back, away from Vala.
Vala stirred. Her head found its way to his chest again.
Her breath tickled him and he squirmed.
Vala noticed and mumbled.
"Go back to sleep, Daniel. It's not even light out."
Daniel tried valiantly to do her bidding, but he failed miserably. His mind was roiling too fast for him to keep up, and an overpowering fear took up residence in his guts.
He couldn't believe he had done this.
He couldn't allow it to continue.
Nothing good would come of this; Daniel was certain of that.
Not only did it seem like this was a bad idea professionally (and probably personally), Daniel couldn't stop thoughts of other women from intruding now. 'What kind of man thinks of others the moment he wakes next to a beautiful woman for the first time?' thought Daniel. 'God! What's wrong with me?'
His frenzied brain could come up with only one way to diffuse this situation.
'I have to pretend it was nothing,' decided Daniel. 'A one-night stand. The effects of the wine. Whatever. I can't lose her like I did the others, and I know I will. She'll be mad, and it'll hurt, but she'll get over it. It's the only way. I have to do this.'
Daniel wanted to do nothing of the sort, and nothing could have been further from the truth, but as guilt over the fates of his previous lovers overcame him, Daniel's mood became such that his soul rivaled the darkest of nights.
As Vala realized her lover wasn't going back to sleep and she started to wake more herself, her hand began to trace slow circles over Daniel's abdomen. Daniel allowed it for a moment, too caught up in his own world to respond. But as his body once again remembered last night and began to respond to Vala's touch, Daniel reacted with a violence that surprised him.
His hand flew to Vala's and gripped it tightly.
A little too tightly.
Vala let out a surprised yelp and Daniel immediately let go, mumbling an apology.
"Sorry. Just… stop."
Vala was hurt and confused, and Daniel studiously avoided looking at her. He didn't think he could do what needed done if he saw any shred of hurt in her eyes. Her voice was hard enough to hear as she wondered at his actions.
"Daniel?"
Daniel squirmed under the weight of Vala's head and extricated himself from her as he rolled over to face away from her, but he didn't answer.
A cold dread began to gnaw at Vala's insides. She tried again.
"Daniel? Are you alright?"
Daniel's voice was a little deeper than usual, but he did answer this time. "I'm fine. I just… just stop, okay? I've got to get up. I've got some things to do."
Vala blinked a few times in surprise. "What things? It's Saturday morning, and I know for a fact that you have the weekend off. We're on downtime, remember?"
Daniel shrugged. "Just things, okay?"
Vala could throw Daniel much farther than she believed him.
"Daniel? What's wrong?"
"It's nothing," murmured Daniel unconvincingly.
Vala smiled playfully then, deciding to ignore Daniel's tone and her own intuition and believe his words.
"Good! Then we can stay here for a bit longer then, huh?"
As she spoke, Vala began to nibble a bit on Daniel's neck, just below his ear.
The results of her efforts were not exactly what she was hoping for.
Daniel shrugged her off viciously and climbed out of bed.
"Dammit, Vala! I told you I needed to get up. Leave it for once, would you?"
Vala blinked a few times in shocked surprised at Daniel's vehemence and felt the hot sting of tears build up in her eyes.
"Alright. I'm sorry."
Daniel sighed as he found his jeans on the floor and pulled them on over his boxers. He knew Vala didn't have anything to apologize for and he felt like shit for doing what he was doing, but he just couldn't shut off the panic button in his brain.
It was still telling him to run. Run as fast as he could. It wanted him to stop this now, before it was too late. Before he got any more involved. Before she got any more involved. Before she left him. Like everyone else he had ever cared about.
Daniel managed to kick the screaming little demon to the back of his brain for long enough to try to smooth things over a bit, but it was a half-hearted effort.
"Look, Vala. Don't apologize. This isn't what you think. I just…"
Vala cut across Daniel, finally getting angry at him.
"This isn't what, Daniel? This isn't you panicking and running away from me? Let me tell you, it's not what I would've liked to have happened this morning, that's for sure!"
Vala crossed her arms and nearly pouted as she finished, and Daniel nearly wavered in his resolve. But he couldn't. The demon was back, shouting at the top of its lungs for Daniel to go through with his plan, to save himself.
"Vala, look. I'm sorry, ok? I just… God! This changes everything for us! And I don't know what to do about that, ok? I… I just need a little time to think about this, ok?"
Vala gave Daniel a look that needed no translation and clearly said that she didn't believe him.
"You don't have to do anything, Daniel! And what's there to think about? We agreed that we wouldn't let this interfere with work, so what's the problem?"
Daniel pulled his shirt over his head and looked imploringly at the woman in the bed. "Vala, please. It's not that simple. Just give me a little time to think, alright?"
Vala nodded with a stiff motion and sniffed once. "Fine."
Daniel leaned over toward her and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead. "We can talk later. Honest."
Vala nodded again in the same stiff way and motioned to the door. "Fine."
Daniel hesitated for a moment, unsure and disbelieving of himself, then turned and left.
The hotel room door snapped shut with an audible click.
The click was followed by the quiet sounds of a woman trying not to cry.
A woman who failed miserably.
Vala Maldoran curled in on herself and wept like a child for the first time in a very long time.
She would've expected this behavior in herself until recently, but she had honestly thought that Daniel Jackson was different. She had no inclination to pull stunts like he had done this morning anymore.
Not with him.
Apparently he had no such qualms about her.
And it hurt.
A lot.
The strong, self-reliant Vala suddenly remembered why she had become so self-reliant, and she laughed a bitter laugh around her tears.
A moment later, she stood, showered, dressed, and left the hotel behind.
Her moment of weakness over, Vala vowed to find out why Daniel had behaved as he had.
'Could I have misjudged him that badly?' wondered Vala.
Somehow, she didn't think so.
Something was wrong, and she would find out what.
No one ditched Vala Maldoran and got away with it.
Not even Daniel Jackson.
Especially not Daniel Jackson.