A little idea I got from 'Condemned.' Very good episode. Very touching. Anyways ... I've noticed that they like leaving things unresolved for Peggy, so here's a resolution.
~*^*~
Three years ... four more to go. That's my sentence. So here I am just sitting here in the prison cell with nothing to do except to think about what I've done.
When I went to the party, I had no idea that I would end up costing a life.
But, as I have reminded myself many, many times, that's no excuse.
I really don't remember what happened. I was that far gone. All I know is that I made some kind of bet, and the next thing I knew, I was in the hospital with a broken arm. I was annoyed at first, but then I found out that someone was dying because of me.
He did end up dying ... and he left a wife behind. I remember the first time I saw her. I didn't even know who she was. At that time, I hadn't even known that I had killed someone. She walked past the window of my hospital room and she had this sad look on her face.
The next time I saw her was in court. She still looked sad, but she also looked angry ... at me. I remember the look on her face when the judge sentenced me. I could tell that she thought I deserved something much harsher than I got.
Now that I've been here so long, I realize that she was right. I *killed* someone. I took someone's life, and I deserve so much more than what I got.
I wrote to her so many times, telling her how sorry I was, how much I wished that I could go back in time and undo what I did. She never wrote back.
I don't blame her.
I don't deserve to be forgiven, but I just wish that she could understand just how sorry I am. I have no idea what it's like to lose someone so close to me, and I had no right to be the one to take him away from her.
There's a policeman coming. I look at my watch. It's too early for dinner, but he doesn't have dinner.
"You have a visitor." he says to me.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Here she is, sitting right in front of me, a determined look on her face.
"For the longest time," she begins, "I couldn't bring myself to read any of your letters. I couldn't bring myself to forgive you, but then something happened that made me think about this again. You see, I have a friend whose daughter was murdered, not by accident, but intentionally."
She pauses to wipe a tear from her eye.
"My friend realized that she couldn't hold on to this hate that she had for her daughter's killer, and so she forgave him. I was there to see it. Then I realized that I couldn't hold on to my own hate for you."
Her dark brown eyes are glistening with tears and I can feel her intent stare.
"I ..." She's crying now. The tears are running down her face. "I forgive you."
I can't say anything. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I deserve something ... anything worse than what was given to me. I don't deserve this.
Her crying has stopped and she's standing up from her chair. "Well ... I just thought I'd let you know ... " She's starting to walk out the door.
"Wait." I hear myself say.
She turns around.
"I'm ... so sorry for what I did."
"I know." She turns again to walk out the door.
Even though I know that I don't deserve this, I feel like a huge load has just been lifted off of my back.
I feel forgiven.
~*^*~
Three years ... four more to go. That's my sentence. So here I am just sitting here in the prison cell with nothing to do except to think about what I've done.
When I went to the party, I had no idea that I would end up costing a life.
But, as I have reminded myself many, many times, that's no excuse.
I really don't remember what happened. I was that far gone. All I know is that I made some kind of bet, and the next thing I knew, I was in the hospital with a broken arm. I was annoyed at first, but then I found out that someone was dying because of me.
He did end up dying ... and he left a wife behind. I remember the first time I saw her. I didn't even know who she was. At that time, I hadn't even known that I had killed someone. She walked past the window of my hospital room and she had this sad look on her face.
The next time I saw her was in court. She still looked sad, but she also looked angry ... at me. I remember the look on her face when the judge sentenced me. I could tell that she thought I deserved something much harsher than I got.
Now that I've been here so long, I realize that she was right. I *killed* someone. I took someone's life, and I deserve so much more than what I got.
I wrote to her so many times, telling her how sorry I was, how much I wished that I could go back in time and undo what I did. She never wrote back.
I don't blame her.
I don't deserve to be forgiven, but I just wish that she could understand just how sorry I am. I have no idea what it's like to lose someone so close to me, and I had no right to be the one to take him away from her.
There's a policeman coming. I look at my watch. It's too early for dinner, but he doesn't have dinner.
"You have a visitor." he says to me.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Here she is, sitting right in front of me, a determined look on her face.
"For the longest time," she begins, "I couldn't bring myself to read any of your letters. I couldn't bring myself to forgive you, but then something happened that made me think about this again. You see, I have a friend whose daughter was murdered, not by accident, but intentionally."
She pauses to wipe a tear from her eye.
"My friend realized that she couldn't hold on to this hate that she had for her daughter's killer, and so she forgave him. I was there to see it. Then I realized that I couldn't hold on to my own hate for you."
Her dark brown eyes are glistening with tears and I can feel her intent stare.
"I ..." She's crying now. The tears are running down her face. "I forgive you."
I can't say anything. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I deserve something ... anything worse than what was given to me. I don't deserve this.
Her crying has stopped and she's standing up from her chair. "Well ... I just thought I'd let you know ... " She's starting to walk out the door.
"Wait." I hear myself say.
She turns around.
"I'm ... so sorry for what I did."
"I know." She turns again to walk out the door.
Even though I know that I don't deserve this, I feel like a huge load has just been lifted off of my back.
I feel forgiven.