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To you whom I admire
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The sun was already setting by the time Colin returned home with Asher. The small boy rushed inside, already screaming about how much he was starving and asking if his mum prepared dinner yet. Sofia, giving her two boys a welcoming smile, gently just said no before berating her son on how filthy he was.
As Asher recalled everything that happened while he and his dad were at the park, Colin just quietly went to his room, his mind wondering on what happened today. He thought…he saw her. He swore he saw a glimpse of her there, and that she was looking back. Even though he didn't see her clearly for that short moment, Colin swore he almost summoned Faye back before Asher took the fall off the tires.
Taking a seat, Colin couldn't help it but let out a sigh. It didn't make sense for him to see Faye again. They said their goodbyes, despite his reluctance. Yet, why did he see her? Did he really start to have regrets? Colin would admit there were mishaps since he and Faye went their separate ways, but he couldn't really call those real regrets.
Sofia said yes to his proposal despite Barry's spelling errors.
Asher was born safe and sound within Sofia's arms.
There must be others, but still, not real regrets.
Letting out another sigh, Colin wondered how Faye would react to all this. Surely, she would tease him for worrying so much. And that everything went well anyway. Then she would poke at how happy his life was right now as she laughed.
That was…if Faye's here. But she's not. And despite how much Colin missed him, he didn't want to disappoint her for calling her back when he's not old and grey and resting in his death bed. Not now…
Still, Colin wanted to tell her so many things that had happened since they parted. Many things he got to experience even without her by his side to encourage him. He tried to think, his fingers tapping on his lap for a moment.
Finally, he decided to just get it all written down. Colin checked the time before unlocking the drawers under his desk, opening it to get his dusty old green book out. Pages were threatening to fall out, but it was not like a bit of glue couldn't fix it. Opening its contents, Colin found a blank page, smiling a bit before reaching into his desk for a jar of lemon juice.
If he couldn't tell her now, he could tell her later. And he needed to remember what to tell her when they meet again.
`To you whom I admire…` Colin decided to start, writing everything that happened and for Faye to know about. Someday.
And hope she would be proud of him for it.