A/N: This story is short and silly, just written for funzies. It honestly seems like the entire DBZ fandom has a thing for Vegeta's butt and it just took a few minutes of fan art browsing to get the inspiration for this. Is there a limit to how much you can talk about ass? haha oh god someone stop me from posting this atrocity.
Goku had never considered himself a man of "particular" tastes. He really wasn't picky with anything. His closet was filled with several identical orange gis, and maybe a single suit in there for special occasions. He couldn't decide on a favourite food; he loved all food, and would eat anything in copious amounts. And as for people, as long as they weren't trying to destroy the earth or kill him, he liked them just fine.
There was just one thing he was particular about, and that was asses. As in butts, behinds, derrieres. It would shock everyone to know that the innocent-faced warrior was what people would call an "ass man." Even stranger was that his absolute favourite ass belonged to a certain flame-haired prince.
Vegeta must have known it was a great feature, because it was always being shown it off in his spandex bodysuit. It invited lots of stares by everyone who saw it, making women blush and men ashamed of their own inferior behinds. The first time Goku got a good look at it, he swore he heard angels singing. If he thought he'd seen some nice asses before, they paled in comparison to Vegeta's. For many years he admired it from afar, dreaming of all the things he would do if he could get his hands on it.
The first time he touched it, Vegeta had been bending over to put on his boots before they went out to spar. They were alone in the room and his glorious rear was directed at Goku. With his mouth open in awe, the larger Saiyan's hands moved of their own accord, reaching out and smoothing over the round globes. They were firm and toned, yet soft at the same time, just as Goku thought they would be and he nearly sighed with satisfaction. Vegeta shot up so fast, he lifted off the ground and almost smacked his head off the ceiling.
"What the hell was that, Kakarot?!" He demanded, a stunned look on his face. He was so perturbed that he couldn't even muster his usual angry face.
Goku grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, my hands slipped," He replied, raising said hands in the air.
The Saiyan prince eyed him warily as he dropped back to the ground. With one last suspicious glare, he turned and made his way outside. Goku followed behind like a dog, his tongue practically wagging as he watched the prince's muscles flex and move as he walked. He made an "mmm" sound in the back of his throat, as if he was eating something especially delicious and Vegeta glanced over his shoulder, looking alarmed.
When they reached the outdoors, the prince paused to adjust his gloves. Goku stopped beside him, looking up at the sky innocently as his hand reached across and cupped a round cheek.
A fist connected with his face faster than he anticipated and he stumbled slightly. Rubbing his bruised cheek, he pouted at Vegeta who stared at him with a crazed look on his face.
"Don't tell me your hand slipped again!"
"I'm sorry, Vegeta, I guess I was standing too close," Goku said with a nervous laugh.
Vegeta's eyes narrowed and he was feeling even more doubtful, though he knew the taller man had trouble with gauging personal space.
"Don't let it happen again or I'll break your fingers," He spat before leaping into the air.
Goku smirked and flew after him as they traveled to their usual training area.
When Vegeta landed he casually scanned the area. Suddenly, he felt something rushing at his back, taking him by surprise. Before he had time to dodge, Goku flew down and tackled him from behind. They fell to the dirt together and Goku sat back on Vegeta's thighs, pawing the perfectly sculpted ass, rubbing and squeezing the supple flesh.
The prince howled, giving off a burst of energy and managing to twist himself around to throw the larger man off.
"What is wrong with you, Kakarot?" He yelled as he clambered to his feet, pointing a gloved finger at the other Saiyan.
Goku simply shrugged, an innocent smile in place. "I just wanted a good fight today… Are you riled up yet?"
Vegeta breathed heavily and looked around, feeling for any other energies in the area. They appeared to be alone. He thought maybe it was a trick, that the other Z-fighters were having a laugh at him.
"Who put you up to this? Was it Baldy? Or that other weakling human?"
Goku gave a shrug and small twist of his lips, like he had no idea what the other man was talking about. "No?"
The prince's face changed from seething anger to strained confusion. "Then why do you keep fondling me?!" He practically screeched.
Goku stepped closer to him and Vegeta lunged back into a defensive stance, raising his energy. "Don't you dare touch me."
"Aw, come on, Vegeta. I think you like the attention, otherwise you would have torn my head off by now." He stopped in front of the smaller warrior, smiling down at him with his hands on his hips.
Vegeta tried to hold on to the anger in him but the confusion soon took over, his energy waning as he lowered his fists. With a shake of his head, he muttered. "I don't even know what's going on anymore. I think you've lost your mind, Kakarot. You need help," He said with a sneer.
Before he could turn to leave, Goku wrapped his arms around the prince and grabbed his rear once more.
"I need this," Goku answered into the smaller man's ear. "I don't know what it is about it, but it's making me crazy."
With eyes wide, Vegeta just stood there dumbly, unable to react as a pair of large hands caressed from his lower back, over the curve of his ass and underneath, cupping each cheek. When Goku tapped them appreciatively, he finally snapped out of his daze.
"How dare you!" He shouted, his arms fighting to free themselves from Goku's hold.
"Stop fighting, I'll make it feel good."
The colour drained from Vegeta's face as the hands tore a hole in the spandex covering his ass. He shuddered, feeling the cool air on his flesh. The skin covering the perfectly formed mounds was smooth like velvet and Goku sighed happily, trailing his fingers over it, doing nothing to sooth the shivers of the other man's body.
Vegeta panicked as a familiar feeling grew in the pit of his stomach, one that had never been brought on by another man before. Masking the warm feeling in a fit of rage, he growled and struggled against the arms that bound him, unable to focus his energy properly as the large hands kneaded his behind.
"Stop," Goku said, his voice low but demanding as he flattened his hand and gave a firm smack across both cheeks.
All of the muscles up Vegeta's back tensed as he straightened, a look of sheer disbelief on his face when he felt the faint sting the assault had left behind. He tried to form words but nothing would come out.
"I've waited a long time to do this. I think were good enough friends now, don't you?" The larger man asked with a smile. He licked a wet trail along Vegeta's stern jawline, causing the smaller Saiyan to shut his eyes against the wave of arousal he felt.
Goku could tell the prince was giving in and smirked, feeling pleased with himself. He knew one day something like this would happen between them. Now, his wait was over and he had the prize in his hands.
"You've ruined my suit," Vegeta growled, unable to think straight. He vaguely reminded himself that that was the least of his worries at the moment. "Now, what am-"
Goku smothered the other man's lips with his own while giving the ass he held another hard smack to silence him. After giving the prince's mouth a thorough tasting, he pulled away to look into the black eyes that were hazy with both hate and lust.
"I'm going to kill you, you bastard," He managed to pant out.
Goku grinned, looking deceptively cute with his own flushed cheeks. "But then who's going to get you a new suit? Are you going to fly home with your ass in the air?"
When the prince said nothing, he continued, "Didn't think so."
Vegeta simply growled, and Goku swallowed the sound with another heated kiss.
A/N: No, I don't know what that was either haha
BUT! Juuuuust in case, I wanted to clarify that this is not meant to be non-con, nor did I intend to make light of that with humour. In my Goku x Vegeta world, Goku is playful and has to coax his lover out of his shell and Vegeta, in the early stages, is very reluctant and "outraged", mostly for show because of his pride, but deep down he totally wants it. Later on, he's a total slut but that's a story for another time. ;P Point is, we all know if he didn't want it, he'd fight like a feral dog and it would never happen anyway.