A/N: So I shouldn't be writing another story while I've got The Art of Seduction still in process, but I heard about this type of contest on the radio today and couldn't not do it. I'm hoping to get it all finished by the end of the 14th! In my Glee universe: Puck and Rachel never dated, Puck and Quinn are not interested in each other, Rachel and Finn are not interested in each other, and the baby belongs to Finn/Quinn.
Wednesday, February 9th, 2010
Puck rarely got excited about anything. However, this morning, on the radio, he heard that the local radio station would be giving away front row seats and backstage passes to an upcoming Bon Jovi concert. He would kill for those tickets. Unfortunately, that wasn't what the contest involved. Basically, in honor of Valentine's Day, the radio station would be holding a kissing contest on the 14th and the couple that lasted the longest would win the tickets. Ten couples would be selected from pre-screened video entries to be interviewed and then five couples would actually participate in the contest. There was just one problem. The contest was open to actual couples only and while Puck could certainly find more than one girl willing to kiss him all day, he doubted he could find one that he would want to pretend that he was in a relationship with. After all, if they won, he'd have to attend the concert together. He barely liked to even talk to the girls he made out with much less spend actual time with them.
Later that day in a specially-scheduled Glee practice, Puck explained his predicament to Finn, who knew what a huge fan Puck was of Bon Jovi.
"Dude, well Quinn and I are a couple. Maybe we can do the contest thing and then you and I can use the tickets."
Quinn, who was sitting next to him with her swollen feet on a chair and her hand resting on her pregnant belly, frowned at him. "Sweetie, rewind there for a second and listen to what you just said."
Finn thought for a second. "Oh, um, yea maybe that wouldn't work…"
Puck just sighed as rehearsal began. He didn't realize that a certain petite brunette had overheard his entire conversation.
After rehearsal and everyone else had left the practice room, Rachel Berry cornered him and stood before him with hands on hips and a determined expression on her face.
"I love Bon Jovi", she said with conviction.
Puck took one look at her and began to adamantly protest. "No, no. No way, Berry!"
"Why not? Am I that repulsive to kiss that you would sacrifice the opportunity to meet the incomparable Jon Bon Jovi?"
Actually, that wasn't the reason. She drove him crazy, but Berry was hot and he would totally make-out with her all day. Right now, however, she stood in front of him with a distraught expression on her face.
"Rachel. You don't get it. This is for couples only and we'd never be able to convince…"
"Well that is just unacceptable and discriminatory. My fathers are members of the local ACLU and I can make a call…"
"Chill, Berry. I mean the contest is open to same-sex couples too, so like I don't think they're trying to discriminate against anyone."
"Oh, well, I do approve of that. Well then what's the problem?"
"We hate each other half of the time, Berry. How are we supposed to convince an entire radio station that we're like in love?"
"Exactly! Hate is a passionate feeling. Clearly then we have passionate feelings for each other. All we have to do is convince other people that these feelings are positive."
Puck took a moment to think. She was hot. She was willing. She could hold her breath for a really long time. And if she truly liked Bon Jovi, then perhaps it wouldn't be torture to sit through the concert with her.
"All right, I'm in."
Rachel jumped up and down clapping her hands together and then threw her arms around Puck. He awkwardly gave her a pat on the back because frankly, Puck didn't really 'do' hugs. Of course, he often bypassed kissing right to what he considered to be the more pleasurable activities, so spending a day kissing Rachel Berry would be unusual in more ways than one.
After Rachel finally let him out of her unexpectedly strong embrace, he said, "Really though, Berry? Bon Jovi?"
"I'll have you know that my musical interests expand far beyond the horizons of Broadway."
"Alright, well the video entry is due by midnight tomorrow. Then the interview would be on Saturday with the actual contest on Sunday. The concert is Sunday night."
"Well, we obviously need to come up with a back story for our relationship, as well as prepare the best possible video entry."
Puck cringed at the word relationship. He had worked very hard to never be in one of those so even a fake relationship disturbed him slightly.
"Finn's my boy so he'll probably help out and I know that you and Quinn have struck up some weird friendship so she'll be in too."
Three hours later, as they sat in Rachel's cotton candy-colored room, Finn and Quinn weren't sure whether they should be frustrated or amused about their decision to help Puck and Rachel as they watched the interaction in front of them.
"Hold my hand", Rachel demanded.
"I don't hold hands, babe. I'm a badass!"
"How are we going to be perceived as a couple if you won't even hold my hand?"
"Can I slap your ass instead?", Puck questioned as he moved into Rachel's personal space.
Rachel stood her ground. "You are such a miscreant."
"If miscreant means ridiculously hot badass, then obviously yes I am."
"On the plus side, the sexual tension is obvious…", Quinn interrupted.
"Excuse me?", Rachel responded. "There is no sexual tension between Puck and myself."
"You could cut it with a knife, sweetie. Plus, you totally said the other day that you thought Puck was hot."
"Not really helping, Quinn", Rachel hissed as she moved in Quinn's direction.
Puck smirked and sauntered closer to Rachel. "Is that right, Berry?"
"No, no…you see, Quinn misunderstood what I was saying. I was simply commenting on the symmetrical nature of your facial fea…"
For once in her life, Rachel was made speechless. Puck grabbed her by the waist and pulled her flush against his body. One hand drifted dangerously close to her butt, while the other moved upwards towards its destination.
"Puck, what are you doing?", Rachel whispered breathlessly.
"What do you think I'm doing, babe…holding your hand."
"Oh", Rachel said looking down and realizing that Puck was indeed holding her hand, which was pressed against his chest.
"Okay, now this is fun!"
With Quinn's amused comment, Puck and Rachel seemed to remember that they had an audience and sprung apart.
Rachel put as much space as she could between herself and Puck as she reached for her notebook.
"I think I've come up with a pretty convincing back story for our relationship. I figured it would be easiest to simply take real-life events, such as us both being members of Glee, and just weave our relationship into them."
"Whatever, Berry", Puck said…though his mind was more occupied with what exactly he had done a few moments ago. Why did I grab Berry like that?
"I figure we can use tonight to plan out our video and then actually film it tomorrow after school. Would you be able to help us with that, Finn?"
"Sure thing, Rachel."
"I get to do the costumes!"
"Um, Quinn, I thought we would just wear what we normally wear", Rachel answered.
"But you have to wear coordinated outfits!"
"Oh hell no, Q. Ain't gonna happen."
"Why not, Puck? You've never been in a relationship so you don't know the first thing about making this video a success!"
"Okay, Puck…Quinn…calm down", Rachel interrupted. "How about we talk about some other aspects of the video? I thought we could sing a duet together in the video since this is part of our 'how we got together' story and it would also likely be unique compared to the other videos."
Grateful that Rachel interceded before Quinn attacked him (pregnant Quinn was kind of scary…), Puck simply nodded in agreement.
They all spent the rest of the evening making plans for the video before ordering pizza and watching a movie together. Quinn and Finn cuddled on the couch, while Rachel sat on the other end of the couch. Puck ended up sitting on the floor leaning against the couch. At one point during the movie, he shifted and his neck ended up resting against Rachel's bare leg that was curled up on the couch. Neither of them moved. Both pretended to not notice their proximity to the other, but they both knew the other one noticed.
Up next: Filming the video…