DISCLAIMER: All things Final Fantasy belong to Square Enix.
~ Take the Dragon Wagon to Clown Town ~
Day 1
Dragon woke up somewhere that definitely wasn't her house, much less her own comfy bed. She found herself sleeping outside on the grass. The very green, very pixelated grass.
"We're not in Kansas anymore," she said, even though she wasn't actually from Kansas. "Kids won't get that reference, though." She sighed. "I feel old... Anyway! Time to see what's up with this pixel world."
After walking for a little bit, she realized.
"This looks like a Final Fantasy game!"
Then she suddenly and conveniently got captured by Gestahlian soldiers, because video games work like that.
Day 2
After spending a night in the castle dungeon, Dragon was still in a pretty good mood, because hey it had only been a single night so it wasn't like she was starving or tormented with strange thoughts yet, and also she could tell just from the shape of the toilets that this was her favorite Final Fantasy world: Final Fantasy VI!
She wondered if she was going to meet all her favorite characters, or if she would just be stuck down here in the dungeon the whole time only seeing the generic soldier characters.
"Ooh, will I see Kefka?!"
Day 3
Another day passed and Dragon was still stuck in the dungeon. She was starting to wonder if the soldiers had forgotten to tell any of their commanding officers that they put her in here or something, since she hadn't seen hide nor hair of any human beings since the day she was captured and put in this cell.
"When do I get to meet Kefka?" she grumbled to herself. She was bored. If she had to be stuck in a video game world, then she wanted to do something exciting, not be locked in a dungeon the whole time!
Day 4
"The beast we captured seems to be sentient," General Leo reported to the Emperor. No one in the empire had ever seen or heard of a fire-breathing wolf with dragon wings on its back before. "It has begun to complain of hunger, so we threw it some raw meat. It complained and asked for hot peppers and yogurt to go with it."
"And did you give it peppers and yogurt?" Gestahl asked.
"We did," Leo replied. "Even more worrisome, however, is that the beast knows Kefka's name somehow." Hesitantly, he continued, "We... believe it may be an Esper."
Day 5
On the morning of the fifth day since her arrival in this world, Dragon was rudely awakened by a loud fart, followed by someone clanging on the bars of her cell.
"Hello, little beastie!" Kefka called out, cackling. "I heard you've been talking about me. That fool Leo thinks you're an Esper, and while you do seem to have magic of some type, you are quite obviously NOT an Esper."
"You're right, I'm not," Dragon replied. "Leo's an idiot."
"Leo's an idiot!" Kefka shrieked, laughing even harder. "Listen to this creature... I like it!"
Day 6
General Leo protested the decision to let Kefka keep the creature in his room as a pet, but his objections were overruled by the Emperor on the grounds that it was definitely not an Esper, and maybe having a pet would chill the crazy clown out a little.
"But it's a sentient creature," Leo argued.
"So are chocobos, and look at how we treat them," Cid pointed out.
"And besides that, the creature itself seems perfectly amenable to the arrangement," the Emperor added. "So I don't know what you're making such a fuss about. So that's settled!"
Day 7
"Let's burn things," Kefka said, readying a Flare spell.
"Yes, let's burn things!" Dragon replied excitedly, wagging her tail. "Villages, towns, forests, deserts- no, wait, not deserts. Those won't burn."
"They will turn to glass with enough heat, though," Kefka replied thoughtfully.
"Alrighty then, let's turn the deserts to glass. That sounds like a plan to me."
"Hmm... that doesn't sound as fun as burning things that actually burn," Kefka said. "But if turning the desert to glass is what you want, then let's do that!"
It was the beginning of a psychopathic and beautiful love.
~end~