He had to say goodbye no matter what, no matter who it was.
It started with his mother. There she lay, silent and still with her eyes only tiny slits revealing her golden irises. The hospital room was a barren wasteland of white, filled with harsh yellow light from the intensive care wing of the hospital. Wilted flowers sat in their glass vase, grieving over this shell of a woman who used to dance around on Saturdays trying to get the wash and breakfast done at the same time. The woman who laughed as her son spoke at length about his newest discovery in their holographic map room.
There Dib stood, staring at the machine that was keeping her alive. He was sure she would have wanted that machine to be given to someone who 'really needed it'. She was always selfless that way.
"Mom?" He called to her, his broken glasses in hand as he rubbed the tender bruise on his cheek. "H-Hi, Mom. I know I'm not supposed to be here without Dad but I...I need some advice, you know?And your the only person that…"
He looked away, fiddling with his glasses. The arm broke off in his hand, making him wince when he remembered Mom patching them up all of the time just last year.
"Do you-do you really think that I'll find someone like me? I mean, I can be kind of annoying and...jealous and maybe a bit selfish but I'm...I'm a good person, right?" He paused as if she had answered. "Then why is it so hard for me?!"
It echoed around the room, that question he wanted to say but never asked in fear of what the answer would be.
"I'm not like you, okay? I'm not confident...or funny...or good looking like Dad or you. I'm not! I try so hard…" He choked back his tears. "I never asked to be this way. I never asked to be different…"
It was like a terrible spell, those words. All of a sudden, the steady beeping of the machines becoming one long note was all that he heard. He jumped, the tears finally flowing as he tried to take it all back, take it back…!
But nothing could be done as the nurses pushed him from the room, leaving him screaming for his mother.
That was the memory he called upon now, as he sat in his room broken hearted over his newest attempt at making a friend. He ran over his mind trying to think of why Dwicky would hurt him like this, why he lied or why he left or both or none. It hurt like hell but Dib had no idea what to do. He didn't have anyone to call or talk to or anything…
He whimpered, holding back everything that was heavily weighing his chest down. Almost incessantly, he bit the skin of his fingers to relieve some of the pressure but to no avail. Tears pricked at his eyes but the held them back as he kept the coil in his stomach wound tight, willing it to go away. Yet it stayed, pent up frustration and anger and sorrow and depression all becoming a terrible mess in his gut. His breathing got even more shallow the more he bit himself, beads of blood forming. Rocking back and forth quitely, he bit.
And bit and bit and bit…
Zim, who had been watching this from Dib's own window, widened his eyes at the bloodshot, red, mumbling mess he saw before him. This was not Dib. The boy had always had this air of arrogant haughtiness around him, much like Zim himself. He could sense that the boy was suffering in there, locked away from everyone else.
He should have known his rival was having a problem when the human went to Dwicky's office.
Humans only went there, Zim had observed, when they were 'freaking out'. And-judging by the PAK reading- Dib had a very fast heartbeat and a very high fever which wasn't good. The boy's face was flushed, his ears tinged pink while he bit himself almost robotically, blood candies leaking down his hand.
Zim gulped. He had to stop this, it was making something inside of him hurt…
"Diiiiib?" He called, like the human was his child instead of Membrane's. "Are you less crazy now or-?"
He never got to finish.
Hi arms were full of the boy in a matter of seconds, his antennae flattened to his skull as a long, low wailing was shrieked into his shirt. For once, he realized than Dib was getting to be taller than him. Their lekku-his only one pathetic scythe- brushed against each other while he hid in Zim's neck and shoulder. The Irken felt a burning sensation there, a tugging. Dib was biting down on the turtleneck collar of his Invader uniform but Zim didn't say anything.
He couldn't think of anything to say.
"Z-Zim didn't not give you permission to do that…" He whispered, unsure if the other even heard over the wailing. "Now please be silent, Dib-baby."
"I...sh-should've known I could never be h-happy…"
It was a foreign feeling to both of them, to hold and be held like this but Zim was sure that this is what he saw on TV and Dib honestly didn't care. The Irken softly guided him to the bed, collapsing there with him until long into the night, when his wails finally subsided from exhaustion more than anything.
Zim sighed. He was going to have to keep the boy away from Dwicky, too, if they ever saw him again.
"Troublesome Dib. Always making my hit-list bigger…you're lucky that Zim will take you with him when it's time to say goodbye. Stupid human."