"Hey, Cupcake?" Carmilla whispers quietly. We're in bed, cuddling. The hotel room is dark, quiet. We stopped here to stay the night. We're still floundering a little, unsure what to do now that we aren't under any sort of threat. Confused with what to do next.
"Yeah, Carm?" I mumble tiredly into her chest. Listening to her heartbeat. I'll never tire of the sound of it thumping away. Giving her life.
"I know we already talked about it but what was it like? In the other dimension." She asks quietly, nuzzling my neck. I frown slightly, not liking the memories the question brought up.
"It was...it was terrible, I guess." I tell her. The ache of remembering how that Carmilla had been returned but then again, it never really went away. "Everyone had given up hope. They weren't fighting. They were barely resisting at all. They were so lost Carm. It was...it was just terrible." She wraps her arms tighter around me, trying to offer comfort. I swallow the lump in my throat. "Kirsch was dead. Danny had killed him and was locked up because of it."
"Xena killed the puppy dog? Why?" Carm asks softly.
"He killed me." Carmilla tenses instantly. "I'm not sure why but he handed me over and I got chucked into the pit." I rub soothing circles on her arm. Hoping I didn't just put a target on Kirsch's back. "The Summers were disbanded because of Danny. There were hardly any Zetas left. Perry was working as the receptionist for the Dean. LaF was…" I feel myself tear up and try my best to stop it. "LaF wasn't okay. Really not...okay. They were stuck in the library...kind of forever. Mattie was alive but you...you…" The words get stuck in my throat and tears roll down my cheeks. Carmilla rubs circles on my back and tries to soothe me. She had heard this all before but, with the continued nightmares, she realised it was still eating at me. "It was so horrible. You were...you were so broken. Carm, you were a shell, an empty, empty shell." It's at this point I realise I'm sobbing. "You..you clung to me and never looked away, like I'd disappear if you did. You just...I can't describe it...I'm sorry." The tears fall harder.
"Oh, Cupcake." She says, sorrow filling her voice. "I'm sorry you had to see that. But I'm me, okay? Not broken, still fully here." Carmilla cups my face and stares into my eyes. I can't see very well, with it being dark and my tears blurring my vision, but she's there, all of her is there. My hand clutched onto her wrist in a death grip.
"Promise me" I sob. "Promise me that you, that we, will never end like that. Promise me." I let go and bury my head into her shoulder. Just the very thought of something so awful happening to her that would it would break her like that. It rips my heart apart.
"I promise you, Laura." Carmilla whispers quietly. It was over. This fight, this war, is over and they can live, actually live not just survive, a long and mostly happy life. There will be bumps and crossroads but they can get through it. They can get through anything after what they've been through and this one promise. This one, little promise, well...she intends to keep it.