A/N: Pairings From a Hat birthed from a story we saw in the Harry Potter section. Basically, you write down every character you can think of from the series you're doing the story over, fold up the little pieces of paper with each name, and draw out two randomly, then pair them together.
In a nutshell, it's an easy way to create crackships.
We don't own a thing. Only each chapter's crackplot fluff.
Ronan kicked a small rock as he walked down the sidewalk. He was in a bad mood. I mean, why did life have to suck so much for him recently? Nothing ever went right for the emo Irish boy.
Yes, they had all managed to save the world. Well, technically, they hadn't done it, Ponch had, Kit's awesome dog. Kit was part of this too. He had managed to steal Nita out from under him, after he had been the one to make the first move on her! And then, just when he had thought he was over Nita, and done with girls, he was faced with his toughest challenge yet: Carmela Rodriguez.
He had caught up to the pebble and kicked it again, this time making it fly a little farther down the cement. Hands jammed into his jacket pockets, he scuffed after it. However, worst of all, he was still stuck in America for another week or so! Sure, he could go back home any time he wanted, but he told his parents that he was visiting someone and left, and his date to arrive back wasn't any time soon. And America, quite frankly, was not the quiet, pretty land that Ireland was.
He caught up to the rock but had stopped, lost in his thoughts and fists clenched in his pockets. He knew thinking about it would make him angrier, but right now, he didn't care. He just wanted to feel miserable for himself, and that's what he did. He drew his foot back and kicked the rock with such force, launching it into the air and over the high hedges to his right. From his side of them, on the sidewalk, he could just make out the sound of said pebble landing into something wet, like a fountain or something. He sighed heavily. Wonderful; now he had lost his kicking rock. He scowled and kept on walking.
However, he didn't get too far before the rock came flying back at his head, connecting smoothly. Ronan stopped dead in his tracks and turned slowly.
"Stop throwing stuff!" said a voice from the other side of the hedge, just a bit hazy from the distance. Ronan took one look in the direction and decided, what the hell, his life sucked enough already, and he was pissed at whoever had thrown the rock at him. His scowl deepened as he pushed aside what he could of the overgrown bush and stepped into the backyard.
It was nicely shaded by tall trees, and the grass was uneven and flat in some places, like something ran through it all the time, especially in circles around the trees. Weeds weren't pulled in this yard, they were run over with the occasional lawn mower, if they were lucky. Otherwise, the dog dug them up. Over in one corner, however, was a pond with a few koifish in it, swimming lazily around. It appeared to be the only clean thing in the whole yard. Nothing out of place though, and so Ronan shrugged and turned to leave.
"Were you the one that threw that rock into my house?" snapped the same voice from before. It was clearer now, but bubbly, with a slight female twist to it. He, startled, looked around the yard once more and then at the house to see if any of the windows were broken. Nothing, and there were no people or other animals present. Of course, maybe it was one of the trees that spoke, believing the backyard to be its home. But then, trees couldn't throw rocks...
"Who said that?" Ronan asked defensively, continuing to scan the yard.
"Who do you think?" the voice said, clearly agitated at his behavior. Ronan's eyes were drawn towards the source of the voice, and was surprised to see one of the koifish swimming near the surface at the edge closest to him while the others swam around below in the large pond. Ronan walked over and kneeled down in front of the swaying fish, miffed himself. He was being smart-mouthed by a fish! He bent over to get his face a little closer to the fish, trying to be intimidating.
"Listen, you! You're just a fish, and I'm a human being. The natural order of things says I'm above you on the food chain. I could fry you up and eat you right now if I wanted!"
"But you're a wizard, and you're bound by your oath to keep from intentionally harming other beings unless absolutely necessary." the koifish answered smugly. Ronan opened his mouth to retort, then closed it again, then opened it once more, lost for words.
"Yeah, well..." he trailed off, thinking around for a retort. "How do you know?" he finished lamely, trying and failing to cover up the fact that he couldn't find a loophole. If fish could move their face muscles, this one would be smirking. And her fin would be on her hip.
"You're talking to a fish." she answered smartly. "In the Speech." Ronan changed the subject quickly.
"I'm sorry my rock accidentally landed in your house." he apologized. "I didn't mean to. I was walking down the street, thinking about how much my life sucks, and I kicked this rock–"
"Woah woah woah." the koifish interrupted. "Your life sucks? Try having a house with no ceiling! Try getting frozen inside your house nearly all winter, and having people drop things like pennies and rocks into the middle of your living room! And to top it all off, your only meal choices are fish food and stupid bugs that thin they can swim."
"Wow, rough." Ronan sympathized, sitting back on his knees. "The girl I liked ran off with her friend after I made the move first, I'm stuck here in America for another week or so, I just lost one of my favorite animals ever while fighting the pullulus, and I'm discussing my problems with a fish." he sighed. If she could have, the koifish would have nodded.
"Huh. I guess you do have it pretty bad." she said. "And here I thought you were just being an angsty teenager."
"And here I thought you were just another stupid fish." Ronan answered. Somehow, discussing his problems with this fish had calmed him. Looking at her, he noticed the fish in a different. He saw the way the rays of sunlight in the water caught just so in the gentle fans of her fins. The white scales gleamed like the newest pearls, the black scales were dark as the farthest reaches of space, and the orange scales were golden rays of gleaming sunlight. And all of it was positively radiant.
"You know, for a human, your dark hair is very gorgeous." said the fish after a moment passed. "Your eyes as well."
"I was thinking the same thing about your scales." he whispered back. Although it was not physically possible, the fish seemed to give off the impression that she was blushing. Ronan gave a soft little smile, letting his eyes trail down her. Her scales were so smooth, and they moved smoothly when she swayed her tail gently to stay floating. He himself blushed a little when, unexpectedly, she jumped out of the water, pecked him on the cheek, and and splashed back down again.
"Ronan? What are you doing in our backyard?" Tom Swale asked, coming out of the backd oor that connected with their kitchen. He was holding a towel in one hand and a plate in the other, drying it. Tom smiled in an amused manner as he watched the teenager scramble to his feet quickly and brush off the dirt on his knees, or lack thereof. His face was smeared with the reddest blush Tom had ever seen before, like a kid caught in the act of doing something they knew they shouldn't.
"Just talking to your koifish." he answered rapidly. Tom nodded, sensing something out of the ordinary but not saying a word about it.
"They do provide a good penny for your thoughts." he agreed. "Just wanting to know what you were doing is all. Carry on." He smiled genially and went back into the house. Ronan sighed, hoping his cover was well enough to keep hi out of Tom's suspicions, and turned back to the koifish. She was swimming away.
"I'll see you tomorrow." she said to him. He only just managed to catch the flirty tone at the end of it before he pushed himself out of the bushes and onto the sidewalk once more.
Ronan was now in a considerably better mood.
A/N: This first chapter is dedicated entirely to Michelle, one of the other co-authors, because this was semi-her idea too, with Brianne, (I just heard about it from them) and today is her birthday. I actually waited until midnight so it could officially be posted on her birthday. Or, rather, the day of her party anyway.
There will be plenty more odd crackships in the next chapters, so stay tuned!
...Why am I always the one to post the first chapter?