Cassie, here's your Christmas present! Anyone can read this, really, but Cassie (one of my tumblr friends [cockbastian]) is a guest star in this. If you don't know her, just think of her as a character we haven't met yet.
Okay, so this fic will be college!Klaine, but with Kurt at college but Blaine at high school, upon Cassie's request. Warning: ANGST. THAT IS ALL.
"Kurt, everything is going to work out fine! I know you're eight hours away, but we have Skype and we'll be able to make our relationship even stronger, right?" Blaine started to cry in front of his boyfriend. This rarely happened. The only other time he did cry in front of him was when he was discussing his dad issues. But now… this.
"Blaine, I just, oh god. I'll be gone for three months without holding you. Without kissing you. And then only a week later, I'll be gone again. Yeah we have skype, but—"
"But what, Kurt? We won't be able to touch each other, or have sex, or do anything we used to do? We're soul mates. Nothing will tear us apart. Not even a stupid eight-hour drive. I'll do anything to be with you. I'll visit every weekend; I don't care if I have homework. I don't care if I don't pass high school. I'll be with you."
Kurt sighed, realizing that attempting to continue his relationship with Blaine was a mistake. Long-term relationships never work, no matter how in love the people are. "Blaine, I love you so much, and you know that! I'll try through thick and thin just to get more in touch with you while I'm in New York, but these kinds of relationships never work out!"
"Fine, I'll come with you. I'll live in your apartment with Rachel. I don't care if I don't have any money, any job, any friends, I'll have you. That's all that matters." Kurt also shed a single tear as his boyfriend said this.
"Blaine, you can't come to New York! You have senior year to finish, you need a good college, and you can't even pay your way!"
Blaine remembered the sudden memory, of his father disowning his son, and how he had no money and living with his aunt. He shuddered, trying his hardest to get the faint memory out of his mind. "I'll walk to New York, for all I care! Because I love you so much, I want to spend the rest of my life with you even if we don't have any money, I just want you. All day, all night."
Both of their voices began to rise, and the two didn't realize how loud they were getting in Kurt's bedroom. "I love you too, you know I do! But what will you do? Will you stay at home, wait for me to come home for college, like a sad puppy? Blaine, this can't work out, we'll Skype every night, but that's all we're getting until November."
Blaine's heart ripped open once he heard Kurt say these words. He had already kind of spoken them before, but now it just seemed so… official. Then, sudden anger rushed inside his body.
"You know what, Kurt? I don't want to move to New York! I have friends here, and I'd rather stay here than be with you! I don't care if you find another man, have a whole new life, and forget about me! Because you know what? I'll forget about you too. And I don't love you! Happy? So goodbye, Kurt Hummel!" Blaine stormed off, regretting what he said but also not.
Kurt sat on his bed, sobbing into his pillow. He really thought it would work out, but obviously, it didn't.
Blaine ran down the stairs of the Hudmel house, crying heavily into his arms.
Burt was the first to see Blaine in this state. "Blaine, are you okay? What did Kurt do?"
Blaine ignored the caring father, and ran out the door. He ran all the way to his aunt's house, although he'd rather be here.
~~~ooo00ooo~~~
Blaine woke up in his small room, and first saw the calendar. September 19th, it read. And the huge words written on the box said, "Kurt leaves ". Oh god, no. Not today.
He ran out of the house to Kurt's house. There was a huge truck in the driveway, packed with tons of home necessities, almost like they were moving into a brand new house.
He saw Burt walk around the car to put one more bag into the trunk of the car. He said, "If you want Kurt, he's gone." Blaine began to cry, realizing he couldn't make up with Kurt. He was already gone. Everything was going to be miserable.
"Well, could you tell him one thing?"
"Blaine, don't you have his number?" He shook his head, remembering how he deleted it in anger.
"Okay, I'll call him, but remember, I'll be living in D.C. because of congress. What do you want to let him know?"
"Can you just tell him that I love him, and I'm sorry? Okay, thanks."
Blaine slowly slugged back to the one house he hated coming home to everyday. Not only was Kurt gone. The Hudmel's were gone. The family he could actually come to and feel accepted. His aunt was never even there; she was usually off at her boyfriend's house, probably smoking pot. He had no one. Everyone was off at college; he didn't have his true love or his best friend. He felt so empty inside, like he lost a whole chunk of his body. So this was what it felt like to be alone. He had only experienced this feeling two other times, and that was when his mom left his family when he was only six, and when his dad left him when he was 15.
He lay on his lumpy bed, and began to write an e-mail.
Dear Kurt,
I know I was terrible last night. I know I should've said that skyping was fine. I know I shouldn't have said that I'll forget about you, because I won't. I'll never forget about you, no matter what happens. I just got really angry with you, and, well, it came out. Without my knowing. I just really couldn't imagine not holding you every day, not kissing you, not doing anything with you. At first I liked the idea of skype, but it just came to me that night while you were talking to me how we wouldn't be able to even touch each other. I love touching you; it makes me feel perfect. And now I have to wait until Thanksgiving. Well, I don't think you'll ever forgive me. So I have to wait until never. I'll probably never see you again. And when I said I have friends back in Lima, Kurt, I don't. All my friends are gone. They were all seniors. All I have left is Artie and Tina. And now all these new students will be coming in, and I can't stand not being with the people I spent a whole year with. I don't even have my family. Or yours. They're off at D.C. I feel so alone. Just, Kurt, please wait for me. Don't find someone else. I promise you I won't find someone either. I love you. Don't forget that.
Love,
Blaine
~~~ooo00ooo~~~
Kurt finally arrived at NYADA, still having red eyes from the crying he did in his solo car ride. Blaine had never come to forgive him. Everything was going to be terrible.
Kurt found his dorm, and already saw his bags in the room. He saw another man in the room, probably being his roommate. He was tall, awkward, and lanky. He looked extremely shy, and non-social. Kurt sighed in relief; he actually didn't want his roommate to talk to him. He was afraid he'd fall in love with one, somehow, even though Blaine will only and always be his love. But he definitely wasn't his type.
He decided he'd unpack later and meet Rachel's roommate. They were somehow on the same floor; the boys rooms where on the left and the girl's rooms where on the right. He found room 49E and knocked on the open door.
"Hey, it's me, Kurt." An unknown face appeared, saying, "Oh, you're Kurt! Rachel has said so much about you, and we've only known each other for 3 minutes. Yeah, she talks a lot. But hey, I'm Cassie, Rachel's roommate."
Kurt shook his hand with the new girl's, and smiled. Rachel saw Kurt and Cassie interacting, and walked to the door.
"Oh, it seems you've met Cassie!" Rachel said.
Kurt said in a dull tone, "Yeah, she seems nice." Rachel immediately recognized that voice. It was whenever something terrible happened. And not just terrible, something heartbreaking.
She said, "Hey, Cassie, can Kurt and I talk in private for a sec?"
"Yeah, sure." Cassie walked to another suitcase, getting ready to unpack it.
"Kurt, what's wrong with you?"
Kurt didn't want to put all his misery on his best friend, but he needed to talk to someone. He had never really talked to someone since the fight with Blaine last night.
"It's Blaine…" Kurt began to sob, slightly remembering the exact words and tone of Blaine before he left.
"He didn't… Oh, Kurt, come here." Rachel wrapped her arms around her best friend, comforting him.
"Yeah, he did. We started fighting, and we never fight, but it was about college and he just got really angry and told me he never wants to see me again." His crying got heavier, trying his best not to break down. "I don't think he meant it, though, but he still hasn't texted me to tell me he's sorry or he loves me, but I still love him, and—" He finally got to the point where he couldn't speak because his weeping overtook him. This wasn't how it was supposed to turn out. They were supposed to be together forever, and now they're in a silly fight, which they'll never resolve. He doesn't want to see Kurt again, love him again, or even remember him. Although he had his best friend, he felt so… alone.
"Kurt, oh god, I'm so sorry. I really thought you two were supposed to be together for the rest of your lives. You'll get back together, I know it. It's fate, fate always makes things right." For the next ten minutes, Kurt cried in Rachel's arms, thinking of all the terrible things that Blaine could do. He could find a new life, a new boyfriend, a new everything. Kurt was never going to do that. He'll never find someone like Blaine. He'll never love someone ever again.
"Cassie, you can come back over here," Rachel said when Kurt had finally sort of stopped crying.
She walked from the closet, and stood next to Rachel. "Sorry to intrude, but what were you guys talking about? Kurt was crying, and, I don't know, I just hate seeing people sad."
Rachel said, "Oh, just boyfriend issues."
"Oh, I'm sorry. But I've been there. I had a girlfriend before college, and now she's gone. I don't even know where she goes to college now, but I did love her. Sometimes, you have to deal with life. Life isn't fair."
Kurt said, "Oh, you're gay too?"
"Yeah, it's one of the many things I try to get people to know at first. Just to see if they'll accept me and be my true friend. Rachel, you accept me right?"
"Of course I do, of course. Why would I accept Kurt and not you?"
"Good, because I don't wanna be one of those awkward roommates who doesn't say anything to the other."
"Oh, like mine," Kurt said.
Rachel said, "Well, it looks like we're going to have the best four years ever!" Kurt smiled, but it was one of those smiles where you didn't really mean it. Because it wasn't going to be the best. Blaine didn't love him.
~~~ooo00ooo~~~
Blaine slowly walked to Glee club with misery in his eyes. It had only been one day without his other half beside him, and he couldn't take it anymore. He hadn't gotten any texts, letters, anything. Kurt didn't love him back. That's how it was always going to be.
It was so weird walking into the room filled with exciting memories and only three people knew of those memories. The others were all new, and he didn't like any of them. They wouldn't talk to any of the seniors; they would just talk amongst themselves. They never even asked to sing a single song, and it was already a month in the year. He always wondered why they were even here. It was obvious they didn't like it. It was now always him and Tina getting the solos, and he was tired of singing all the time. And he definitely didn't want to sing today.
He wasn't even close to Tina or Artie. Ever since they started dating when Mike left, they wouldn't talk to him. He had no one. He had no friends, no love, no one to even talk to. This wasn't fair. Kurt got to spend four years with his best friend and probably tons of other new college friends, and Blaine was all alone. Not even a family member to talk to. The only people who accepted him was Glee club, and now they were all gone.
Tina spoke up right when she saw Blaine's dismal expression. "Hey, Blaine, what's wrong?" Okay, he had one person. But she rarely talked to him.
"Oh, nothing," he let out gloomily.
"Does it have to do with Kurt?" asked Tina. How did she know? Blaine slowly nodded, and began to cry. It was one of those moments where he could say all of his feelings to someone he barely talked to.
"We got in a fight last night, I told him I never wanted to see him again, and now he's gone. Just like that. I do want to see him again, I do still love him, but he doesn't know that."
"I'm sorry, Blaine. I know how you feel." No you don't. No one will ever know how I feel. No one loved a person as much as I loved Kurt. No one. Why does everyone tell me they know how I feel? They'll never know how I feel.
Instead of speaking, he struggled to stop his tears. He would save them for later, when he's in his room. Alone.
He said quietly, "I have to sing something," so he got up out of his chair and walked to the piano and sat down. Mr. Schuester was always late, so he had plenty of time to play the song.
"This is for my one true love, Kurt, even if he won't hear this. I wish he did." The only people paying attention were Tina and Artie. But once Blaine hit the first chord of the piano, the other people whipped their heads around to hear the song.
I've been alone
Surrounded by darkness
I've seen how heartless the world can be
I've seen you crying
Felt like it's hopless
I'll always do my best to make you see
Baby you're not alone 'cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
'cause nothing can keep me from loving you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through
Now I know it ain't easy
But it ain't hard trying
Every time I see you smiling
And I feel you so close to me
And you tell me
Baby you're not alone 'cause you're here with me
And nothing's every gonna bring us down
'Cause nothing can keep me from loving you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through
I still in trouble, I trip and stumble
Trying to make sense of things sometimes
I look for reasons, but I don't need 'em
All I need is to look in your eyes
And I realize
Baby I'm not alone 'cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
'Cause nothing can keep me from loving you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through
He hit the last note of the song on the piano, and with tears rolling down his face, he said, "I have to fix something," and left the room, running.
WHOOOOOOOO
ANGST = LIFE!
Heh I made Blaine sing Not Alone and it's ironic because Darren wrote that song.
Kay so all of the other chapters (heh only one other one after this) will be up once I upload this because I'm writing all of it first.